“This isn’t something we’ve ever even thought about doing before,” Alden says. “Before you.”
“But we’re willing to try if you are,” Danny says. There’s something so sweet and hopeful in his voice that I blink, confused, unable to reconcile the Danny from before with the man in front of me.
Before I know what I’m saying, the words, “I’m too broken,” slip out and I bring my free hand to my face to cover my embarrassment. All the pressures of my life wash over me; the effect of the incident with Kyle, the breakup with Travis, the breakdown of my parents’ marriage and the financial struggles. They weigh me down so much, that it’s hard to think past it all.
“No,” River says, pulling me close. “You’re not broken. You’re strong and resilient. You’re a fighter, Cora. A fighter to the core.”
My hands that have braced on his chest curl, grabbing fistfuls of his soft shirt. I gaze into his mesmerizingly light eyes, feeling his words rest deep inside me.
A fighter.
Is that the way they see me?
Strong and resilient.
They’re two characteristics that I’ve always wanted to have but struggled with too. Always being in fight mode has made me brittle and sharp. If I could just step back and lower my guard, I know I’d feel happier and more settled.
“Can you give us a chance?” River asks softly, pushing my hair behind my ear. Just that simple touch has my knees weakening and my fingers trembling.
“Cora,” Tobias says as he eases me from River’s arms so he can talk to me face to face. “I know this seems like a lot to process. It is for us too. But I feel something here…” he places his hand over his heart. “Something I’ve never felt about anyone before. And I don’t want to let that slip through my fingers. None of us do.”
He nods, letting me know he’s done talking, and it’s my turn to respond, but my tongue feels swollen and glued in my mouth.
I understand what he’s saying because I have that same feeling in my chest too. A tenuous connection to these men that feels like soft threads drawn between us.
But that’s not enough, is it?
“Do you feel it here?” he asks me, pressing his big, rough hand over where my heart beats. The softness of the top of my breast rests beneath his palm, and my mouth drops open to speak, but no words come out because it feels so good.
His hand was made to shape to my body. His arms, that held me so tight when I felt like confetti in the wind, were made to keep me safe. And suddenly, I don’t have any more fight left in me. Stepping up onto tiptoes, I press my lips to his with a sudden rush of sensation. His lips were made for mine, too.
Tobias gasps, not expecting the quick contact, not understanding why I’m staring at him agape, feeling the skittering of my heart.
I look around at all the men surrounding me. River, with his serious brow, confused as to why Tobias has managed to reach me where he couldn’t. Danny, who’s waiting to see what I’ll do next with just a glimpse of a smile dancing across his lips. Mark, whose head is cocked to the side as if trying to solve a complicated equation: Cora plus men to the power of five equals unending joy or unending heartache. Alden, whose thumb is tucked into the belt loop of his jeans, is watching everything with that eldest brother’s detachment. They’re all so different, but all…
I’m not sure there’s a word that can sum up so many men.
But do I need to sum them up? Isn’t it their differences that make this prospect as awesome as it is terrifying?
“I feel it,” I say in a rush, knowing that if I leave it any longer, I’ll slip back into the safe space of denial. I don’t want to push them away anymore. I want these men to continue to be the rocks they’ve become in my life.
“You do?” Tobias asks.
And even though my heart is racing, and my palms are sweating, I manage to nod. “I do.”
Those two small words are the trigger to the beginning of something huge.
18
CORA
I’ve never been in a situation when I want something so badly but know that it’s crazy at the same time. There are so many reasons why I shouldn’t be kissing Tobias while reaching for Mark. So much logic that should tell me allowing River’s hands to slide up my ribs and over my lacy bra is something I should stop. When Danny begins to unbutton my jeans, my hands should snap down to stop him, but they don’t. They’re too busy exploring Tobias’s muscular chest and trailing over Alden’s rounded shoulder.
Oh God! My mind is whispering that these are Carlton men and Carlton men can’t be trusted, but my heart is telling me that they’re good and kind, and my body is screaming to find out if they’re as sexy without clothes as they are fully dressed.