Twenty
Cooper
After getting everything situated with the funeral director, my mom asks me to go to dinner with her. We head out in my vehicle to the local steakhouse I know she loves. Once we’re seated, she looks at me softly and says, “We need to talk.” I nod, indicating for her to go first.
“When I met your father, I fell in love immediately. Things progressed so quickly that he soon became my entire world. We were inseparable and within a year we were married and a year after that you were born. At first, your dad was so sweet. He was completely devoted to us. He was boxing, but he never allowed it to take over his life. Once he started winning and felt that sense of accomplishment, he clung to it. I was home with you and we were close. In some ways, I think your father resented that my world no longer revolved around his. He would go away for boxing matches, and where I would’ve gone with him before, I chose to stay home with you. Please understand I’m not in any way blaming you. I just think we had different priorities and we grew apart. There were times when he would be gone for weeks and I became very lonely. Sure, I had you, but it’s not the same thing as being with another adult. I tried to fix us, but when I realized we were just going through the motions, I sought comfort elsewhere.
“I know I was wrong. I just felt like he didn’t even notice we were there anymore. I didn’t want to disrupt our house. My affair went on for five years. When you were twelve, he threw out his back while training and had to come home. He was so miserable, abusing the drugs, and drinking. He missed fighting. I told him I wanted a divorce and when he refused, I admitted to having an affair. He threatened to take me to court if I didn’t give him primary custody. Losing you was the worst thing that ever happened to me. I didn’t care about him. You cried several times that you wanted to stay with me, but every time, he would tell me that he would destroy me if I tried to get custody. Then, when I had to watch him put all his effort into training you because he wasn’t able to fight, I just lost it. I started to drink. But here’s the thing. I stopped drinking five years ago.”
I open my mouth to say something, but she holds up her hand, motioning to let her finish.
“It’s true, I have not had a sip of alcohol in five years. I wanted to be a part of your life so badly, but when you told me you were moving back to Vegas to work with your dad, I knew the best thing I could do was keep my distance. Your father was a miserable, spiteful person, and if he knew you and I were close, I was afraid he was going to take it out on you and your career. I just couldn’t do that to you. I don’t know if it’s too late, but I’d really like to be in your life.”
I feel like everything I thought I knew is wrong and I don’t really know anything. My parents weren’t fucked up. My dad was. My mom made choices she felt were best to save me from him, just as he made choices that led to the life he lived.
I reach over and take my mom’s hand. “Of course you can be a part of my life and there’s something you should know. I recently found out that I have a daughter, which means you are a grandmother. It’s a long story, but her name is Bella and she’s four years old. She is the most perfect little princess I’ve ever seen.”
She cups her hands over her mouth and silent tears pour down her face. “Oh, sweetheart, I can’t wait to meet her. Thank you!”
“It’s time for a fresh start, Mom.”
And it really is. I need to get through this funeral tomorrow and then I need to go over to Bentley’s to get my family. They don’t belong with him. They belong with me. Hopefully I can convince Liz to give me a second chance.
The funeral is filled with people who’ve associated with my dad in some way the last several years. He may not have been liked, but I have to hand it to everyone who showed up to pay his or her respects.
I feel a hand on my shoulder and when I turn around, I see Liz. “What are you doing here?”
“I came to support you. Whether you like it or not, you’re the father of my daughter and he was her grandfather.”