He takes my chin between his fingers and kisses me once again, letting it linger for a few seconds, when we both hear little feet padding into the room and a shriek coming from Bella.
“Ewww, you guys are kissing like Cinderella and the Prince! Does this mean Cooper can be my daddy? He gave me the most bestest room ever and I love him now.”
I laugh at that. It clearly doesn’t take much to win over my daughter. Cooper looks scared shitless and that makes me nervous, so I elbow him and tilt my head to the side, silently asking if he’s okay.
He snaps out of it and whispers, “She wants me to be her daddy and she loves me.” It must all be hitting him at once.
“Bella, why don’t you go pick a movie for us to watch in your new room.” Yep! Parent of the year award goes to me for once again ignoring her daddy question. She says okay and runs out to pick a movie. I wait until I hear her feet thumping up the stairs, then I turn and look at Cooper, who’s sporting a mixture of emotions on his face.
He backs up and sits in the reading chair. Without saying a word, he scrubs his hands up and down his stubble. Figuring he just needs a moment to catch up, I stay where I am.
Finally, after a good minute, he glances up at me and says, “I never thought anybody would ever call me Daddy. And when she asked if I could be her daddy, I thought it would scare me to death, but it didn’t. I just wanted to grab her and hug her and never let her go. I barely even know her and I already love her more than life itself. I felt it in the hospital when you said she was brought in, but hearing her calling me Daddy, my heart feels like it just grew ten times bigger. I just want to give her the world.”
“I know what you mean. When she was born, I held her in my arms and stared at her, refusing to believe she was mine. I guess it’s a parent’s love. You don’t have to know everything about her to feel that connection.”
His gaze locks with mine, and a single tear falls down his cheek. “I missed it all. I missed you being pregnant. I bet you were so beautiful carrying our little girl. I missed her birth, her first steps, and her first words. Damn it, Liz. I missed everything. All because I was a fucking idiot who thought I didn’t deserve any of this, so I pushed you away. For four years, I had a daughter who had no father all because of the choices I made. I will never be able to get any of that back.”
I move closer to Cooper and put my hands into his. “You didn’t know, Coop. It wasn’t your fault. You had a crappy childhood and you made the choices you thought were best at the time. I was just going off to college. I didn’t try to give you my number either.”
“Yeah, that was cute the way you got into a twenty-one and older club and acted like you just graduated college,” he says with a smirk. “Any younger and you’d have been jail-bait.”
I smile big and stick my tongue out at him. Wait until he hears the other half of it. “Oh, well, you also didn’t realize that I was a virgin when we hooked up.”
His eyes bug out and he goes serious. “Liz, what the fuck. I took you in the shower our first time. Why didn’t you tell me? I would have been gentler or caring…”
“No.” I shake my head. “You were perfect. My first time, and second time, and third time were all perfect. I don’t regret anything we did. I wasn’t lying when I said I was on the pill. The problem was I had only just started it a couple days before. I didn’t plan to have sex, so I didn’t look into when it becomes effective. I had no clue birth control pills take a week to work. I was eighteen and stupid. I got to Las Vegas and four weeks later, after throwing up for days, went to the doctor where she confirmed I was pregnant.”
“I can’t even imagine how scared you were. I wish I could’ve been there for you. I’m so sorry, Liz.”
“It’s okay,” I say honestly. “Kayla was there every step of the way. We worked part time and took classes and graduated together. It wasn’t easy, but we did it.”
He lets out a loud sigh, shaking his head. Before he can respond, Bella comes running back into the room. “I got the movie!” She waves it in the air.