With a heavy heart and a guilty conscience, I coaxed, “I didn’t know she was going to do that.”
“So that makes it better? Because you didn’t know?”
“What do you want me to say, Evie? What can I possibly express to you that will change what I have to do?”
“What does that even mean? Why do you have to do anything?”
Nothing I could tell her would take away the pain she was experiencing, so I kept my mouth shut.
“Fine! How about you start with the truth? How long have you been with her? I didn’t even know—”
“It’s not like that.”
“Then how is it? Or what? You’re just getting married for the hell of it?” she scoffed in disgust. “I can’t believe you. You’re the most unattainable man on the planet! Trust me, I would know!”
“Evie, I never meant to hurt you.”
“Bullshit! You don’t think I deserved a phone call, a text message, a fucking email! Something! Anything other her blindsiding me at my own party? I didn’t even know she was your girlfriend, and now she’s your fiancée! What the hell, Caleb?”
“I’ve never lied to you. Just think about it for a minute. I don’t do relationships. Specifically, ones with my clients’ siblings.”
“Isn’t it a little late to play that card?”
“It’s not a cop out, Evie. It’s the truth. I’ve been telling you this for years, and you haven’t given a shit! Your brother isn’t just another client of mine. He’s my best friend, and we both know he’d have a huge fucking problem if he ever found out about us. He has you up on a pedestal, and I’d never be good enough for you.” I paused, allowing the truth to sink in.
“I’ve spent the last eight years warning him not to shit where he eats. I’m the worst fucking hypocrite, considering I’ve been devouring every inch of you.”
“Yeah, I’m your dirty little secret.”
“That’s not true.”
“All I know is what you tell me. It’s all I have. It’s all I’ve ever had.” Her eyes rimmed with tears as she narrowed her gaze at me. “Do you love her?”
“It doesn’t matter.”
“It does to me.”
“It shouldn’t.”
“Stop telling me how to feel, Caleb! It’s bullshit!”
I yanked my hair back, wanting to tear it the fuck out.
“I don’t understand. Please make me understand. You owe me that much, don’t you think?”
I couldn’t help myself, stepping forward to stand right in front of her face and to my surprise she didn’t step away.
“I’m an asshole, Evie. I’m a selfish fucking prick. I’ve done some really shitty things to you, but it ends now. We were never together, I promised you nothing, and I’ve kept my word.”
“You didn’t have to promise me anything. Your eyes, your touch, your smile, it all spoke for itself, Caleb. I know you love me. Why can’t you just let us be together? Jax would eventually understand. There has to be something else, something you’re not telling me, and I can’t for the life of me figure out why you’re constantly fighting this connection we have.” Tears slid down the sides of her face.
“It’s not fair. And now, all of a sudden, you’re getting married? How is this even happening? You just said so yourself—you don’t do relationships, commitment isn’t your thing, so why her, huh? Why her of all women? I guess she must have one hell of a pussy.”
Sweeping the hair away from her face, I tucked it behind her ear. Letting my fingers linger on her soft skin, I rasped, “Yours is the sweetest pussy I’ve ever had.”
Our eyes locked.
“Then why are you marrying her?”
“I told you it doesn’t matter. It won’t change anything. I’m marrying her, whether I want to or not.”
In the saddest tone I’d ever heard come out of her mouth, she repeated, “Why?”
“I need to go.”
“No!” She adamantly shook her head. “You don’t get to show up here and pretend to be the victim. You’re not leaving until you tell me why.”
I brushed away a single tear that rolled down her beautiful face.
I wasn’t expecting what she said next. “I love you, Caleb. You know I’ve always loved you. There were so many times I’ve wanted to say it, but I held back. Thinking we’d have more time. That eventually we would be together. I thought…” She bowed her head, expressing how she truly felt about me for the very first time. “I mean … I know you love me too.” Looking up through the slits of her eyes, she coaxed, “Right?”
“Evie … please don’t make this harder than it already is.”
“Then tell me I imagined it. Look me in the eyes and tell me you don’t love me.”
She was pleading.
Desperate.
I’d never seen her this way. Evie was always strong, confident, determined. I hated myself for breaking her down.
I needed to let her go. We could never be. Then or now.