Always working, never around.
I spent a lot of time thinking about his absence from their lives, knowing this wasn’t the Caleb Hawkins I knew and fell in love with all those years ago.
Or maybe it was, and I was just oblivious to it?
Time was all they needed, and it was the one thing he wouldn’t give up for them.
What kind of father does that?
The more I thought about it, the further it infuriated me. Especially since his kids were so well behaved. Seriously, they were angels. If Caleb’s mother was truly helping him raise his children, then they had done a hell of a good job.
All these thoughts and emotions plagued my mind on the daily. I went from not talking to or seeing Caleb for years, to sleeping with him at my brother’s vow renewal, to now caring for his children. It wasn’t that I was unfit for the role I’d stepped into, but it was more of the fact that I never really gave parenthood much thought before this.
I guess I never considered having kids of my own…
I mean, I’d dated on and off throughout the years, but it wasn’t anything serious. Nothing more than meaningless fun. I worked a lot. Overnight, my business had become my baby, and I was happy prioritizing that. It was the most important thing in my life aside from Jax and his family.
One reason why I never considered settling down and having a family of my own was because I never had one growing up. It wasn’t a major fixture in my life like it was for most kids. Particularly, little girls. I didn’t fantasize about finding Prince Charming or buying a home with a white picket fence.
Which was yet another reason why I resented Caleb in reference to his children. He was doing the same thing my parents did to me. I had to grow up alone, having to always take care of myself. It wasn’t easy, and I grew up fast. I learned early on that I couldn’t depend on anyone but myself. Not even my parents.
I saw a lot of myself in Ethan and Ariel, and it hurt me in ways I didn’t see coming…
My mind was spinning as I made my way into the kitchen, and I came to a complete stop when I saw Caleb sitting at the kitchen island with his laptop on the counter.
“Whoa.” I stepped back, shocked. “What are you still doing here?”
“Good morning to you too, darlin’.”
“Shouldn’t you be at work?”
He closed his computer, giving me his full attention.
“I should, but I’m not.”
“What does that mean?”
He looked around. “Where are the kids?”
“In the playroom.”
“Isn’t it a little early for them to be playing?”
“Are you here to reprimand me for not following your schedule? You see us through your cameras. This isn’t the first time I’ve thought about what they need and not your overbearing demands.”
He placed his elbows on the marble slab. “How often do you break my rules?”
“I don’t know how to answer that without making you mad.”
He grinned. “That often?”
“You didn’t answer my question. Why aren’t you at work?”
“I thought you wanted me to spend more time at home.”
“You’re listening to what I want now?”
“I’ve always listened to you, Evie. I just couldn’t give you what you wanted until now.”
“Which is?”
“My time.”
“I don’t understand.”
“You will.” He slid what looked like a brochure over to me.
“What’s this?”
“Read it and find out.”
There in front of my gaze was the dream vacation for any family. Five days on a private yacht and island.
Meeting his engrossed stare, I stated, “I still don’t understand.”
“What are you not understanding? You wanted time, and I’m giving you five days.”
I jerked back, surprised. “We’re going to this?”
He nodded.
“So let me get this straight… It’s me, the kids, and you? On a yacht and private island for the next five days?”
He nodded again.
“Why aren’t you speaking?”
“Actions always speak louder than words.”
“Caleb,” I emphasized, holding up the pamphlet. “This is marketed as a family vacation. We’re not a family. I don’t want to confuse your children.”
“You let me worry about that.”
“Like I should let you worry about Jax?”
“Jax has nothing to do with this.”
“I know, but it’s just another example of the rollercoaster that is you.”
He got off the stool and walked toward me.
“The Evie I used to know loved rollercoasters.”
“She also loved you.”
He didn’t hesitate in professing, “She still loves me.”
I put my hand up, trying to stop his steps. “Caleb…”
Of course he didn’t give a shit. If anything, my objection only triggered a much faster chase. Like a lion, he pounced, caging me in with his arms around my body as he backed me against the wall.
My breathing hitched.
“I’ll tell you right now. If I’m the reason you want this vacation with your kids, then it’s for all the wrong reasons.”