Before she could say another word, I tossed her in, throwing her into the deeper part of the ocean.
“You give up?” I challenged when her head came up for air.
“Never!”
Grabbing her shoulders, I dunked her again.
“What about now?”
“Never!” she shouted, trying to catch her bearings.
I reached for her, but this time she was prepared for it and attacked me using all her weight. Except I didn’t budge. Ethan and Ariel came to her rescue, and it was three against one. I had to surrender, which only earned me more of their laughter.
We stayed in the ocean, playing for hours until the kids wanted to have a sandcastle competition with one another. They stayed by the shoreline, and I helped them for a bit before I went back to Evie.
Since she was laying out on a towel with her huge sunglasses covering her eyes, I took the opportunity to take in her bikini.
Fuck, she was gorgeous.
“Stop ogling me, Mr. Hawkins.” She smirked as I laid sideways beside her.
“Mr. Hawkins, is it?”
“You’re setting a bad example for your son.”
“I’m admiring a beautiful woman. I can’t think of a better example to give my boy.”
“You’re horrible.”
“And you’re fucking stunning.”
She turned her head, looking at me before sliding her sunglasses down her nose a little.
“You’re just full of it today.”
“What can I say? You bring out the best in me. You always have. You know that, right?”
“Your memories of our past don’t align with mine.”
I ignored her, not wanting to break our cheerful banter.
“You don’t see me complaining about you eye fucking me when I was throwing the football with Ethan earlier.”
She gasped. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Mmm hmm…”
“Anyway, you look a little tired there, old man. Can’t keep up with your kid’s stamina?”
“No, but I could keep up with yours.”
She shook her head, hiding a smile.
These were the moments I wished I knew what she was thinking.
Feeling.
Envisioning the most.
Our dynamic had always been confusing as much as it was simple. From the first conversation we had, it came easy to be around each other.
“Darlin’, I can feel your mind reeling.”
“What do you think is going to happen while we’re here, Caleb?”
“I want to bond with my kids. Be the father they deserve.”
“You expect that to happen in a couple of days?”
“No, but it’s a start.”
“So what happens after this trip?”
“Evie, we’ve never been on a family vacation. I can’t even think of the last time we ate dinner together. I’ve wanted to be present for my kids for as long as I could remember, but I didn’t know how or where to begin.”
My heart clenched. Hearing my confessions was a lot harder than I imagined it would be, but she needed to hear it. Finally, I had to admit to her what I’d become.
What I’d lost.
Her.
“I worked so fucking hard to be the man my family wanted me to be. I didn’t want to marry Tessa, but I had to. After that, I stopped smiling, I stopped laughing, I stopped living… I coped the only way I knew how—by drowning myself in work. It was the only control I had over my life. For a man who thrives on control, I was lost in my very own home.”
She shuddered, feeling the weight of my truths.
“I told you there’s a lot you don’t know, but after this trip, I want you to know everything.”
“Why now, huh? Why are you doing this to me now?”
“I’ve already lost you once. For eight years, Evie. I won’t lose you again. I can’t. I won’t survive it.”
She opened her mouth to reply, though quickly shut it.
“I couldn’t tell you then, but I can now. I’ll say it to you every day for the rest of our lives if that’s what it takes to have you in my life.”
“Caleb.” She adamantly shook her head. “You say you barely survived it the first time. Well, I’m barely surviving it now. I can’t do this with you again. I refuse to.”
With that, she stood and left, and I let her. Silently praying she’d understand once I told her the truth. However, I was coming to the hard realization…
I’d have to show her instead.
Chapter 23
Evie
“Evie! Daddy!” Ariel shouted. “Wait for me! I have little legs!”
I laughed, and before I could bend down to pick her up, Caleb did instead, throwing her up on his big, broad shoulders.
“Whoa, Daddy! I’m tall like you now!”
We were heading up to the deck of the yacht for dinner and a movie. The crew put together a huge projector screen under the stars for us. For the last three days, we’d spent most of our time on the island. Caleb played with the kids while I sunbathed and caught up on the book I was reading.
It was extremely relaxing, and I was enjoying every second of it. Everyone was. The kids truly warmed up to their father. It was quite a sight to see how involved he was with them. Every night, he read them a bedtime story, checking under Ariel’s bed for monsters. He was an attentive parent, making sure their needs and wants were met.