“That’s fantastic.” I reached across the table and squeezed his hand briefly.
“Yeah.” He raked his teeth over his bottom lip and grinned faintly. “I probably shouldn’t tell you this, but Carol’s dad wondered why I was still in the city.”
I smacked my hand against the table. “Are you fucking kidding me? That’s what I’ve been saying all along!”
“I know,” he chuckled. “He brought up my rent and everything. Said I wouldn’t pay half that out in the smaller towns.”
“Good man,” I replied. “He’s right. I don’t pay half of what you pay.”
He’d reluctantly admitted what his rent was before he left last weekend, because I’d been badgering—as I did. And apparently, Sloan’s twenty-five hundred in rent was considered cheap for a two-bedroom. It was fucking bananas. Then add insurance and regular bills and expenses, phone, utilities, SmarTrip cards for the Metro, food…the list went on.
“You know what this means,” I told him. “When I’ve convinced you to move out to me, we’ll have Carol’s parents’ support for Jason and Jamie to change schools. Maybe they’ll help you handle that fight.”
He sighed and smiled ruefully. “I knew I shouldn’t have told you. This doesn’t change anything, Shep. I’m just saying it feels good to have their support. We’re not moving.”
“That’s what you think.” I leaned back as the server arrived with our food. “Thank you, ma’am.”
I stuck my supposedly turtle-killing plastic straw into my Coke and quenched my thirst. Fries fresh outta the fryer, so greasy they were glistening, and then a shit-ton of the best French fry seasoning out there.
“Level with me,” I said, pinching a few fries and—
“It’s gonna be too hot,” he warned.
“Ouch—fuck.” I chewed quickly and washed the fries down with Coke.
“I warn you every single time,” he grated out.
And I didn’t listen, every single time. “It’s all good.” It was now, anyway, when I was swirling a piece of crushed ice around the tip of my tongue. “Level with me,” I repeated. “You’ve always wanted a house with a backyard. You stayed in the city only because it was closer to work and Carol’s studies. Now she’s moving to Chicago for a year, you’re barely coping financially, and the kids could do with a fresh start—especially Jason and Jamie, who still see a counselor once a week.”
Just like that, Sloan’s good mood was gone.
I was an asshole. I had good intentions, but I was a bulldozering asshole.
Fuck.
“I’m sorry.” Guilt weighed heavily on me, and I could practically hear my mother and sisters-in-law lay into me. I could picture their expressions. “I’ll ease off.”
“It’s fine,” he lied.
My phone buzzed in my pocket with a reminder for me to check in with Corey. He should be home by now, so I sent him a quick text.
How are you feeling, brat? Stay in touch.
“You know what I need from you, Greer?”
I set my phone on the table and gave him my full attention. “Tell me. Anything you want.”
The weariness was back in his eyes, and I hated it.
“Just be my friend,” he murmured. “My shepherd. Let me work this out on my own.”
That was the worst request I’d ever heard.
“How can I be your shepherd if I’m not…shepherding?”
His mouth twitched with mirth. “I’m sure you can think of something. I know you better than to believe you’ll pull back completely.”
Oh…well, I still wasn’t satisfied, but I saw my opportunity to bring up his new membership at Mclean House.
I took a bite from my burger and thought about how to phrase this without him flipping out or protesting. Bottom line, I wanted him to get some kinky time in. He missed it; I knew he did. It’d been a while since his last arrangement had ended. It’d been with two guys who’d just happened to turn up in my community instead, where they had recently settled into a dynamic with two Tops. I was happy for them, if not a bit envious. A Master, a Daddy, a Little, and a sub walked into a bar…and fell in love. Who wouldn’t want that?
“So what you’re saying is,” I said around a mouthful of food, “I should ease off enough so I’m not bitching at you to move in with me, but not so much that I won’t make you a member out in Mclean—which I kinda did last Sunday.”
That was smooth, wasn’t it?
Sloan blinked, then stared at me blankly. “You fucking didn’t.”
I grinned and bit into my burger again. “Surprise.”
He had to give me the whole shebang—the stare that questioned our friendship, the heaviest of sighs, the pinching of the bridge of his nose, then a huffed chuckle, a shake of his head, and an expression where amusement battled with defeat.
“How much do you love me right now?” I wondered.
“I think that’s the problem. I love you way too much.” He scrubbed his hands over his face. “Actually, I have a bigger problem. I know you’re right about the kink. I can’t work myself to death when I don’t have the kids. But—”