“Olivia…don’t do this. I’m sorry. I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you about my life. I’m sorry that I kept things from you. But I just wanted you to see me as a normal person. People change when they learn about who I am…and I wanted to hold onto that for a while. You can understand that, right?”
Olivia stares back at me, then begins to shake her head. “It’s not about that. Not really. I wish you had told me, Elijah…before I put my heart on the line. I wish I’d known what I was getting myself into…but what’s done is done.”
“I don’t understand, baby. If this isn’t about what I didn’t tell you, then why do you have to leave? What am I missing here?”
Olivia swallows. “I can’t explain it right now. We all have our secrets, Elijah. You’ve proved that to me. I just know that what you told me affects us and our future…and I can’t take the risk. I can’t tell you about it because it’ll put you at risk too.”
“I can handle it,” I snarl, but she’s already shaking her head.
“I won’t put you in harm’s way, Elijah. And now that I see you in the spotlight…that you are in the public eye…I don’t think I can do this. It’s too dangerous.”
“I don’t care about danger. Tell me what’s really going on, Olivia. I can fix it, whatever it is. I can make it okay.”
But she’s shaking her head again, turning her head away like she can’t even bear to look at me. I can’t believe this is happening. I came back up here, thinking that my honest apology would be enough to fix the cracks. But now she’s telling me there’s more to it and that her secrets are enough to break us apart.
“Baby…last night, we were so sure that nothing could ever tear us apart,” I growl, holding her hands tighter. “We thought there was nothing we couldn’t fix. What changed?”
“I don’t want to say any more than I already have,” Olivia whispers. “I’m sorry. I want you to understand…but I know that you’ll throw yourself into the fire to keep me safe if I tell you. And I can’t allow that.”
I growl in frustration. Not with her, but with this entire scenario. How am I supposed to find us a way out of this when she’s too scared to tell me? I want to make it better. I want things to go back to the way they were this morning. But the longer she averts her gaze, the more I realize that she’s made up her mind.
Whatever it is that’s bothering her, it’s enough to make her want to throw the towel in. I know that must mean she’s in real trouble. From what she’s told me, she’s alone in the world. Perhaps I’m the only person who has ever made her feel like she has somewhere to belong. And now, perhaps, something from her past has clawed its way back into her life, throwing her off balance. I grip her hands hard, never wanting to let her go.
“Don’t leave,” I plead. “You don’t have to be with me. You don’t have to tell me what’s going through your mind. But at least if you’re here, you’re safe. I can keep you protected. I don’t want you going out into the world all alone. Not when you have no money, and nowhere safe to stay. Don’t go. Stay where I can still look out for you.”
“I can’t,” Olivia whispers. “Being around you…that’s what will put us both in danger. I know it doesn’t make much sense when you don’t know why I’m trying to run away…but trust me. The worst thing I can possibly do is stay here.”
I shake my head. “I would never let anything bad happen to you, baby. Do you hear me? You’re safe for as long as you’re around me. Please. At least stay one more night. Think this over. Your emotions are getting the better of you. Stay. One night, and then if you still want to leave…I’ll find a way to let you go.”
Olivia is trembling beneath my touch. Who has her running scared? Who did this to her? I want to hurt whoever hurt her. I want to make sure they suffer for how they’ve taken over her life, making her feel unsafe.
But I can’t do that if she’s unwilling to tell me anything, unwilling to let me keep her safe. She sniffs, looking at her half-packed bag. She sighs, rubbing at her temple.
“I want to stay more than anything in the world,” she says.
“Then stay. We’ll work this out, I swear to you. And until you’re ready…I’ll do my best to keep my hands off you if that’s what you want,” I say in the steadiest tone I can muster. “I just want you near me where I can make sure you’re safe. That’s all I’m asking of you.”