On the thing I brought for him.
Not to mention, his chest.
That’s frozen as well. It’s not moving. It’s not going up and down.
Oh, and his face. His features. That frown between his brows that’s been coming and going ever since we started this conversation is here and is frozen.
See? This is why I wanted to leave the office.
This is why I wanted to be gone when he looked at it.
Or them.
The photos.
My photos.
My nude photos.
Yes, I brought him nude photos of me to look at.
And to keep.
That’s important. That I brought him my nude photos to keep.
I know it’s a little extreme and insane but what I did yesterday was extreme and insane as well. I was going to seduce him — my guardian turned principal — and I was going to record it. I was then going to use that clip, where he’d be seen taking advantage of me, to blackmail him.
I was going to bring his character, his reputation into question. Now he could do the same with me. He could very well use these pictures to blackmail me.
He could use these pictures to make me do things, to subjugate me, to trap me.
But I know he won’t.
That’s the whole point here.
That I trust him and that he can trust me as well.
So there.
White flag.
Although I would like to point out that when I say nude pictures, it means nude of course but all the important parts are covered. By my hands mostly, and by the sheets. So it’s not as if I’m showing things I shouldn’t be showing.
But tell that to him because he’s still frozen.
He’s still in a trance.
And I can’t stand the silence so I break it. “So I know this might seem extreme to you. But I just wanted to give you something that would show you that I trust you. And that you can trust me too. Like, you could use this against me. If you wanted to. You could put these pictures up on the internet or blackmail me with them. But I know you wouldn’t. I know you’d protect me and keep me safe. I know you’re my guardian. I realize that now. And this should show you that I would never, not ever, bug your office like I did before or do anything to hurt you either. So this is like a token of trust, you know. Because we’ve both broken each other’s trust in the past and I thought that it was important to —”
“You thought it was important to give me naked pictures of yourself.”
That’s the first thing he’s said and I gulp in a huge relieved breath that he’s not still as a statue.
In fact, he even looks up.
That thumb of his goes down and taps the screen, bringing up a photo of me.
In this one, I’m sitting on the bed, my legs folded under me and hidden by the sheet. But my torso and my chest are visible, and I’m hiding my breasts with my arms as I look at the camera, my hair all strewn haphazardly around me.
“I know you think that these are just naked pictures but —”
“These are just naked pictures,” he says, his voice low and his eyes flashing.
“Yes, but as I’ve explained before, they’re also —”
“A token of trust, yeah.”
Since he keeps interrupting me, I clench my skirt tightly and lean toward him. “Yes, and I’m giving them to you because I want us to forget the past and move on. I want us to be friends, and I definitely think that we could be because —”
At this, his entire body moves.
It draws up and back, his impossibly broad shoulders rigid and his chest moving up and down with large breaths. But the voice he uses is low and gravelly, almost still, completely in contrast to the way his body is flickering and in motion. “You want us to be friends.”
“Yes.” I inch up my glasses. “I’d like that very much.”
It’s not as if my answer was surprising and came out of left field. I mean, I just said that, but still he takes a moment to absorb it. Like he wasn’t expecting it.
He takes a moment to absorb me, standing there in front of him, clutching my school skirt, curling my toes inside my Mary Janes.
I know he can’t see my toes but I have a feeling that he might still know what I’m doing with them.
He might still know that my heart is fluttering inside my chest and my belly is whooshing because of the way he’s watching me. And maybe that’s why he doesn’t move his gaze, because he knows it’s affecting me, when he comes to his feet.
And since he was already so close to me, I have to crane my neck all the way up to look at him.