“My only regret is that I wish I’d realized this sooner,” I continue, my throat clogged with emotions. “I wasted so much time hating him and cursing at him and running from him. I wish I hadn’t done that. I wish I’d realized sooner that he’s my soulmate and… I wish I had had more time with him.”
At this, my tears start to fall and I hate that.
I hate that I’m being such a spoilsport. It’s the very first party at St. Mary’s. I should be the life of the party right now but here I am crying, surrounded by friends who all take turns hugging me and shushing me.
But also if I was going to lose it in front of anyone, my girls would’ve been my first choice.
Because we’re not only best friends, we’re sisters, see.
We’re the St. Mary’s rebels.
Our bond is the kind of bond that I know will last a lifetime. No matter where we are or where we go, we’ll always be in each other’s lives. We’ll always stick by each other through thick and thin. We’ll celebrate each other’s victories and happiness and wipe each other’s tears.
Somehow we all manage to get ourselves under control and then in a flurry of activity, I’m re-touching everyone’s makeup, and just in time too because as soon as I’m done reapplying Callie’s dark green lipstick, Echo and Jupiter appear at the door.
“Oh my God, you guys look so amazing,” Jupiter exclaims, looking amazing herself by the way.
I’m so glad I picked yet another shade of red for her. It goes so well with her copper hair, making her look like a sultry queen. I’ve named it The Sultry Siren. And Echo looks like such a good girl in her silver bell-shaped dress that I’ve named The Dove. Because she told me that her favorite bird is the dove.
“Okay, but we’re late. Let’s go,” Echo says, clapping her hands. “It’s time. Everything’s ready.”
They’ve been gone to check up on things at the cafeteria while I got everyone else ready, and well, the time is here. “Okay, let’s go.” Then, “Oh but wait, let me get my satchel first.”
My satchel holds all the emergency stuff that we might need in case of an unforeseen disaster like a broken heel, so I’m carrying a couple of extra shoes, tons of bobby pins, and lipsticks and brushes and whatnot.
At the last minute, I also shove his gift in it, as if I’m really going to give it to him.
If I saw him.
A: I’m not. No matter how much I want to. And B: he’s not even here.
He left for California last week and he hasn’t been back yet. I have no idea when he’s coming back. Although I do know that we have a meeting with the lawyers set up — Marty emailed me — sometime next week, so he should be back for that at least.
The plan is that I’ll be packing up and leaving for the mansion in a couple of days, where I’ll stay for a while until things are ready in New York and my classes start. I’m not going to lie, I’m excited about college. Something I never thought I would be. I’m excited to take the step that will get me closer to a fashion school so maybe I can realize the dreams I never knew I had.
All because of him.
The man I love.
And the man who won’t let me in.
But I can’t think about all of that right now. I need to stay in the present and make this night memorable with my friends.
When I’m ready, we all head out of my room and walk down the hallway that’s been our home for the past three years. The concrete floors, the brick walls, the beige doors. Some girls are still in their mustard-colored uniforms as they are rushing to get ready for the party. Some are already dressed.
There’s laughing and talking and all this bustling activity that I realize I’m going to miss.
As much as I hated this place and all the rules, this was home for so many years and I made some long-lasting friendships here that I know I will carry with me for the rest of my life.
So yeah, I guess I’ll miss this place as well.
We push open the glass door to the outside and there they are.
All the guys.
Well, this is a party, right?
Of course there are guys.
Again, who would’ve thought that St. Mary’s would have guys coming in and out? But since it’s a party that’s going to have music and dancing, it made sense to invite guys also. All these guys are plus ones. Meaning no unauthorized guys, of course, and all of them had to show ID and produce their invites at the gates; it’s a reform school, hello? There are rules that need to be observed and followed.