“And this man, Poe, he longs to cherish her. He longs to take care of her, to spoil her, to worship her, to protect her. He longs to draw her baths every night, buy her her favorite cherry blossom bath salts. He longs to buy her a new sewing machine, new dresses, new shoes. He longs to be the man she comes to when she needs something, when she needs anything. There’s a man out there who breathes and lives for that girl. Who breathes and lives to burn in her fire. To burn for her, because of her and with her. And I’m that man, Poe. Me.”
I jerk under him.
My limbs spasm.
As if they have been electrocuted. As if someone — him — shot a dose of adrenaline right into my heart.
And I realize, lying under him in this moment, that this is what it feels like. To get a second life.
To come alive after being at death’s door.
This is the second time, isn’t it? When he’s brought me back to the land of living.
The first time was when he’d kissed me after keeping me at arm’s length for a week. And now he brought me back with his words. With his ‘me.’
“You?”
He swirls his thumbs on my cheeks, his gaze flicking back and forth between my eyes as he nods slowly. “Yeah.” Swallowing, he goes on, “I know I don’t know a lot about love. In fact, I know nothing. Less than nothing. I’ve never had it in my life and maybe that’s why it’s been so hard for me to accept that I found it. That’s why it’s been so hard for me to stop. Just stop hating, stop punishing myself, stop being angry. But I want to. I want to stop. I want to learn to stop. For you.”
“For me?”
“Yeah,” he rasps. “Because this love that I feel for you, I don’t want it to be tainted by hatred or anger. I don’t want it to be tainted by my past. Because that’s all I want to feel, this love. So I’m going to stop. So I can love you the way you deserve to be loved. Without boundaries, without limitations, without any hesitation. You deserve to be loved like no one has ever been loved before. Like you’re the only girl in this world. The first girl, the last girl. You deserve to be loved like a queen, my queen. Because you’re my queen, aren’t you?”
I jerk out a nod and a tear falls down the side of my eye.
He wipes it with his thumb as he goes on, “You deserve to be loved like my baby and I will, Poe. I will love you like that. I will love you like a dream, like a wish, like magic. Because you’re all of that. You’re my dream, my wish, my little bit of magic. And so, Poe, you don’t have to put your foot down. I’m already on my knees. I’m already at your feet. I’m already here. Right here. I’ll always be here, Poe. Always. And I know you might not believe me because I know I’ve fucked up. I acted like an asshole. I didn’t come to you sooner. I let you think that I didn’t love you. That you were alone in this. But you’re not and I’m going to do better, Poe. I’m going to be better. For you. I promise. I’ll show you. You’ll see. I’ll —”
I stop him then.
I lift my face up and put my mouth on him.
Because he’s an idiot.
He’s a clueless idiot.
Maybe that’s why I love him so much. Because he’s so clueless.
About how precious he is. How adorable and frustrating. How lovable and mine.
God, he’s mine.
He wants to be mine. He wants to love me.
He does love me.
And so I kiss him harder. I pull and tug his collar, his hair, digging my heels into his thighs.
But like the idiot he is, he breaks the kiss, his chest breathing wildly, and pants into my mouth, “You hear what I said? I’m going to prove it to you —”
My chest is heaving too as I cut him off. “You don’t need to prove anything.”
His eyes go grave. “But Poe, I hurt you, baby. I need to —”
“Yes, you did.” I fist his hair. “You did, okay? When you came to say goodbye that night. I was so angry at you. And then again, you said no to the party and walked away. You broke my heart then. But don’t you see? You always make it better. Sometimes you’re late. But that’s okay. Because I was late too.”
“What?”
I nod. “I was late too, Alaric. In realizing that I loved you. That I’d always loved you. I wasted so much time chasing the wrong guy and tormenting the one who’s actually my soulmate.”