The Heartbreakers

20.

Playing In The Snow

Lenley

I DON’T EVEN KNOW HOWI make it home; I have no recollection of the drive.

One second I’m telling Darrius to fuck off and in the blink of an eye, I’m pulling up into my driveway with no memory of driving home for almost twenty minutes.

I change out of my office clothes and into a short, soft cotton skirt and a tank top.

I know the dark green skirt is really short, on the brink of indecent because it barely covers my ass, so I’ll have to change later for family dinner; but it’s one of the most comfortable items of clothing I own, and I like to wear it in the privacy of my own house.

I have a little bit of work to do and I decide to grab a can of soda and settle on the couch with my laptop.

I haven’t had any lunch but right now I’m too wound up to eat.

I almost kissed Darrius.

I told myself the same thing last year on my birthday, when we were drunk and we almost kissed on the beach. But the truth is that back then I was the only one who wanted that kiss, so it really didn’t count, because I’d been wanting to kiss my best friend since I was about thirteen.

This time it was different. He wanted to kiss me and if I had let him, he wouldn’t have backed out of it and pushed me away like he did on my birthday.

This time we didn’t kiss because of me.

I’m not a doll you play with when you feel like it and discard when you think no one else wants it. All of a sudden, he wanted to assert his ownership of me, because someone else was looking at his forgotten toy.

That isn’t good enough. I’m worth more than that.

A knock on the front door makes me close my laptop and I put down the can of pink lemonade I was sipping from.

Who could it be? It’s too early for the chef Mom hired for tonight and way too early for the Penns to arrive for dinner.

It better not be Darrius, it’s so like him to follow me home to continue our argument because he didn’t get to have the last word.

But tough luck, I think going to the front door, because I’m not in the mood for any of his bullshit.

“Whatever you’re selling, I’m not buying!” I say, opening the front door with a scowl on my face.

“Well, shit.” Peyton chuckles. “Good thing I’m not a door-to-door salesman then.”

I relax as I see that the only other car in my driveway is Peyton’s convertible mustang; there’s no sigh of Darrius.

“Peyton.” I smile. “Is everything all right? I didn’t expect to see you today. I was going to come find you guys, but our staff meeting went on for longer than expected and I was sure you guys would’ve gone out to lunch by the time I was done.”

There’s an unusual tension in the normally relaxed line of his muscular shoulders, a dark intensity in the blue depths of his eyes. “I really wanted to see you,” he says in a low tone, his gaze locking me in.

The way he’s looking at me does unspeakable things to me, I feel my body react to it by coming alive with a warm rush of sensation flooding all my nerve endings.

I’m dying to touch him as I feel the air between us charged and crackling with something powerful; but I stay rooted in my spot on the threshold of my house because a realization dawns on me with more power than the storm that’s amassing dark clouds all over the horizon.

This isn’t just physical for me.

My breath hitches in my throat when the thought occurs to me and I have to lean on the door frame to steady myself.

I don’t even know exactly what it is, but the feeling that’s expanding in my chest, making me want Peyton more than I’ve ever wanted anyone before, scares me to death.

As long as I don’t care, he can’t hurt me; if all I want is for him to fulfill his end of our deal, I’m safe.

“Stay away from the Cove Devils, they’re bad news. Everyone calls them The Heartbreakers for a reason.”

Darrius, Sarah, even Mom have warned me and yet, here I am, wanting Peyton for more than just what he promised me when we made our deal.

I know it’s dangerous, after all I’ve been burned before by the person I thought would never hurt me.

All Peyton promised me was to teach me everything I needed to know to make Darrius regret not choosing me. If I want more from him and I get hurt, it’s on me.

I’m as scared as I was the other night, before jumping forty feet into that infinity pool.

Then my mind goes to the way he kissed me that night on the beach; to the way he ran into the water when he thought I wanted to hurt myself.

I’m sick of being scared of what I want. Lenley 2.0 needs to fight for what matters to her, without holding back.

One corner of Peyton’s lips quirks up in that half grin that makes him look so fucking irresistible. “Aren’t you going to invite me in?”

I hesitate for just a beat, but then I remind myself that the new Lenley doesn’t run from her fears; she faces them head on and jumps into the deep end.

I mirror his smile. “Come in, Peyton.”