Me: Yes. By me. I’m sending you the money now.
Without waiting for a response, I transfer two thousand dollars to Charlie: enough to cover his monthly rent in the shitty off-campus studio he’s living in for the summer, groceries, and hopefully the occasional college mistake.
Charlie: Shit. SHIT that’s a lot of money. Who did you murder to get this?
Me: Internship is going well.
Charlie: Haven’t you only been working for like two weeks?
Me: Don’t worry about it.
The conversation shifts after that. Charlie tells me about how his favorite taco place is closing down, which is going to ruin his year. I don’t tell him this, but the banality of his problems makes me so happy. When I was his age, I broke out in hives because I was so worried that the university would find out that I had connected with Paul on Seeking Sugar Daddies. At the time, I was young and naïve enough to think that I would bear the brunt of the consequences—rather than the fifty-two-year-old English professor who was dating a freshman.
Clearly, I was young and naïve about a lot of things when I was nineteen.
We text for a few more minutes before I remind him that I do, in fact, have to work (although it’s mostly a reminder for myself). He promises me that he won’t take the other shift and then asks me to send him a picture of the Statue of Liberty when I have a chance—a request only a person who has never been to New York would make.
I check the time on my phone. I have a couple minutes to kill before my meeting with Davis, so I revisit the financial analysis that I sent him to see if I can pull out any insights. Maybe if I show up to the meeting sounding like I know what I’m doing, he can reassure Lana that I was a great hire—not a bumbling idiot or a sex toy that he decided he wanted to play with this summer.
When I open up the Excel file, the numbers start to blend together again. It’s not that I’m bad with numbers. On the contrary, I’m great with them. I switched my major from accounting to business with almost no problems at the beginning of my sophomore year. The thing that I’m struggling with is the kind of calculations needed for mergers and acquisitions.
With a sigh, I check my phone again and see that it’s time for me to meet Davis for our first meeting since he saw me naked and licked and kissed damn near all of my body.
No matter how much I tell my brain that it needs to focus, it’s on the same page as every pulsing desire coursing through my body. I head out of my office with my hands tight and my heart racing. I get the sense that I should get used to feeling this way all summer.