Eliza’s eyes twinkled at him. “Although mayhap I should attend to your injuries first,” she said, laughing softly. “And then, you may speak as freely as you wish.”
Jeremy sighed but nodded, a smile playing about his mouth. “I think I can wait a few more minutes,” he said, begrudgingly. “Just do not leave my side.”
Eliza’s voice was soft, her eyes tender. “Never,” she said, softly. “Never again.”
* * *
Half an hour later, Jeremy found himself holding Eliza’s hands tightly as he began to speak of that terrible day that his uncle had sought him out. Pain lanced his heart as he told her of what his uncle had said, of how he had begged him to help maintain the family’s good name and reputation.
Eliza’s eyes were flickering with both pain and understanding, her fingers tightening on his.
“Of course you agreed,” she said, eventually, as he paused for breath. “Your poor cousin. I cannot imagine what she must have endured, knowing that the man responsible for her plight had turned away from her completely.”
Jeremy shook his head, his throat working. “You cannot know of the pain that came with having to separate myself from you,” he said, hoarsely. “To know that I must leave you, that I must never again allow myself to think of you with the deep and abiding love that still lingers in my heart – it was agony, Eliza.” Looking away from her, he attempted to regain control over his emotions as he remembered that day. “I had to treat you in a way that I did not wish to,” he finished, quietly. “I could not tell you of what had occurred, for I had promised my uncle and Rebecca that I would not do so.”
Eliza reached out and let one hand run down his cheek, forcing Jeremy to close his eyes at her touch.
“I understand,” she said, simply, allowing her honesty to shine through. “I will not pretend that I was not in deep torment over the loss of you, nor that I did not feel anger and pain over what you chose to do, but now that you have been able to tell me the truth, I can see why you had to do such a thing.”
“Your forgiveness is so easily given,” he whispered, barely able to trust his voice as he continued to look away from her. “I do not think I deserve it, Eliza. Not when you have been so badly injured by my actions.”
“But you had no choice,” Eliza quickly replied. “I can see that now and I do not hold it against you, my love.”
Her words of affection tore at his heart, forcing a ragged gasp from his lips. Hope surged within him as he looked at her, seeing the light shining in her eyes and feeling himself almost overwhelmed by it.
“My heart never stopped thinking of you,” he said truthfully. “I felt such guilt at times, knowing that I was meant to be thinking only of Rebecca and yet longing for what I could not have, what could never be.” His head dropped, his heart pounding with the vast array of emotions that washed over him. “She died in childbirth, Eliza. She was lost to me that day, she and the child with her. I mourned her. I mourned her because of what she had endured, of what she had struggled with.” Slowly, his head lifted and he took her gaze again, seeing the compassion and care within. “I was never able to reach her, Eliza. She never once told me what pain she was in, never once trusted me enough to confess the name of the gentleman responsible. Instead, she lived quietly, as though I was not a part of her life.”
“But that was not your doing,” Eliza replied, softly, her hands settling on his again. “You did your duty, Avondale. You gave her a home, saved her reputation and gave her as much consideration as you could.” Her smile was sad. “I know you to be a gentleman of good character. I know you have a kind heart.” Her hand lifted to pr
ess lightly against his chest. “Despite the agony I endured, despite the suffering and the torment that came with not knowing why you had done such a thing, now that I understand, I can see a light shining through the clouds of discontent. That light of understanding is pushing the sadness and the pain away, Avondale, until all I can see…..is you.”
She had leaned closer to him now and Jeremy felt his heart reaching for her, the desperate longing that he had held onto for so many years, beginning to yearn for her with such an intensity that he struggled to contain his passion.
“I can hardly believe,” he whispered, one hand reaching for her cheek and allowing his fingers to brush down her soft skin before twining into a few tendrils of her dark hair that had escaped from her coiffure. “I can hardly believe, Eliza, that you have accepted all that I have said with such understanding and forgiveness that the past is already swept away.” He shook his head, looking deeply into her emerald eyes and finding himself overwhelmed with the abiding love he had for her. “You are everything to me, Eliza. I cannot quite accept that I have this opportunity again.”
Eliza smiled at him softly, her own expression both delighted and sorrowful in equal measure. Sorrow for what had gone before, sadness for what Rebecca had endured by the hands of Lord Montrose and pain for the chasm that had opened up between herself and Jeremy for so long. And yet, there was that joy, that happiness that spoke of love and contentment and a hope for the future. It grew steadily within his own heart as he let his fingers brush the back of her neck, his other hand holding her hand tightly.
“Eliza,” he whispered, unable to say any more as his head began to lower, his eyes closing tightly as all that he had hoped for began to reach fulfilment.
He had forced himself to be every inch the gentleman, forcing his passions and longings aside until the proper time – but now he could restrain himself no longer. Her lips were soft, yielding to his kisses with an earnestness that took his breath away. Her hands reached up around his neck, sending tremors though him as she rifled her fingers through his hair. In that moment, their hearts beat as one.
“Eliza!”
Jeremy started violently and felt Eliza’s hands drop from around his neck. A deep flush began to creep up his neck as he saw Eliza turn her head, wincing inwardly that he had been discovered at such an inopportune moment.
“Well,” said the voice. “I shall have to speak to Lady Whitehaven about this.”
Looking at Dinah, Eliza’s cousin, and seeing her indignation as well as the two spots of color that had appeared in her cheeks, Jeremy found that he could not quite contain the sudden, strange mirth that begun to fill his chest. As Dinah continued to glare at him, her frustration and upset growing all the more upon seeing his poor attempts to hide his smile, Jeremy gave himself up to the sheer joy that filled his chest. Laughing aloud, he saw Eliza’s startled look, only for her own eyes to begin to twinkle, a smile pulling her lips upward.
“Indeed, Miss Shepherd,” he said, rising to his feet and pulling Eliza up with him. “You shall indeed have to speak to Lady Whitehaven about what you have seen, for I do not think that I can allow Eliza to escape from my embrace for another moment.”
Eliza laughed and shook her head at him teasingly. “You need not fear, Lord Avondale,” she replied, as Dinah tossed her head and stormed from the room. “I have no intention of being separated from you again.” Her smile softened and she settled one hand on his chest again, looking up into his eyes. “Not after we have been parted for so long. I do not think I could bear it.”
“Nor could I,” he promised, before lowering his head to capture her lips with his once more.
Epilogue
“Might I ask whether or not you would wish to walk with me for a time, Eliza?”