id not need to dance with Miss Wells and would be able to therefore dance with Lady Reid without concern, but he did not feel any joy nor happiness at the prospect. Instead, he was deeply frustrated at his own confusion and furious with Lord Whitaker’s behavior and attitude that had been so vehemently displayed towards him.
It was deeply unsettling to have such a plethora of emotions over a young lady he was meant to care nothing for. Shaking his head as though it might dislodge some of what he felt, Thomas continued to make his way across the ballroom, thinking that the best thing for him to do until the supper dance was to find a quiet corner and enjoy a glass of brandy. For whatever reason, he did not feel like company any longer, and that in itself was deeply troubling.
Chapter Eight
Merry did her best to keep her sigh as contained and as hidden as possible, but hearing Titania wittering on about her upcoming wedding and all the intricate details that were to be a part of it was, to her mind, rather tiresome. It was not as though she was not pleased for her sister, for Titania appeared to have made an excellent match, which was made all the better by the fact that Lord Carroway cared for her deeply, but it was growing somewhat wearisome to hear the same discussions over and over again. Dinah was not saying a word, her face turned away from Titania and her eyes closed as though she were in prayer. Catherine was, at the very least, trying to show some interest, but Merry herself was not able to pay even the slightest bit of attention.
Her last interaction with Lord Weston was playing on her mind.
Muttering darkly to herself over her own lack of ability to push him from her thoughts, Merry rose from her chair and without a word to her sisters or cousin, began to make her way towards the door.
“Merry!”
She paused, turning her head and looking at Titania’s wide-eyed face. “Yes?”
“You do not wish to hear what I have to say about the ribbons?”
Pasting a smile on her face, Merry gave a small shrug. “I have some matters of my own to sort out, Titania.”
“But the ribbons!” Titania exclaimed, as though this was, at present, the most important thing. “Surely you cannot–”
“Do leave Merry alone,” Catherine replied suddenly, throwing Merry a quick glance before frowning at Titania. “She has matters of her own, as she has said.” She gave Merry a quick smile. “Has Mama got more gowns for you to try?”
Merry, grateful for Catherine’s help, lifted her shoulder. “You know that Mama is doing her very best to have me noticed by the gentlemen of the ton, as much as I do not wish it,” she replied quickly. “Therefore, I have very little choice now but to go along with what she requests. Especially since, despite my pleas, it has been decided that I have lost the wager!” She shot a dark glance towards Titania, who held her chin up defiantly.
“Lord Whitaker seemed to be very attentive last evening, I thought,” Catherine said quietly, looking at Merry with no discernable expression on her face. Perhaps she wanted to gauge Merry’s reaction before she said any more. “What did you think of him?”
Merry did not immediately reply, thinking quickly about what she wanted to say. The truth was, she had found Lord Whitaker pleasant enough but had been irritated by how he had practically marched her away from Lord Weston. On top of that came a stab of guilt over her own behavior, thinking that she had behaved rather poorly towards Lord Weston and had, mayhap, jumped to the incorrect conclusion about what he had been trying to say.
“Merry?”
This time, it was Titania who held her gaze, a flicker of interest in her eyes.
“I thought Lord Whitaker most amiable,” Merry replied calmly, tugging herself out of her thoughts. “But that is all I thought.”
Titania slumped back into her chair and rolled her eyes. “You shall never find a gentleman good enough for you if you do not allow yourself to admit when you have been quite flattered by a gentleman’s presence or manner towards you, Merry,” she said, as though Merry were deliberately hiding the truth from her. “Lord Whitaker is a viscount, is he not?” Seeing Merry’s nod, she spread her hands. “Then what can be wrong with admitting that you found him charming, amenable, genteel, kind, considerate and, mayhap, handsome?”
Merry planted her hands on her hips, feeling a flicker of anger in her chest. “May I remind you, Titania, that I am not the kind of young lady who falls at the very first gentleman’s feet when they deign themselves to show me even the smallest flicker of interest.”
A hard laugh came from Titania’s lips. “I think we are aware of that, Merry. If that had been so, then you would have reached out for Lord Weston’s attentions at the first, long before Lord Whitaker showed you consideration!”
Silence flooded the room. Titania’s laugh died away although the harsh jangling it had brought to Merry’s ears remained. Titania herself continued to try to smile, only for it to begin to fade as she received angry glances from not only Merry but from Catherine also.
Merry’s throat ached, a dull pain settling in her chest. Her sister was being both irritating and insensitive with her harsh words, and it was this that brought such pain to Merry’s heart. Had not Merry supported her when she had spoken to their mother about her disdain for Lord Weston? Why now had she seemingly turned against her?
“He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty.”
Merry closed her eyes, feeling her spirit rebel against Dinah’s softly spoken words. She wanted to rail at Titania, wanted to give full vent to her rage, but instead the Bible verse began to make its way into her heart, and it settled there.
“I am sorry, Merry.”
Surprised, Merry looked to Titania, whose face was now a deep shade of scarlet.
“I spoke hastily,” she continued quickly. “I know that Lord Weston offended you greatly, and I should not have referred to him.” She looked at her with concern in her eyes. “It is only that I seek for you to find the same happiness that I have done, in the hope that it might bring you the freedom you desire.”
Freedom?
Merry’s stomach twisted. How had Titania known that she sought such a thing? It was the freedom that would come with being allowed to live as she wished, whether it be in beautiful gowns or the drabbest of garbs, just as long as she knew she was loved by another who cared naught for what she wore. To have a gentleman care for her character instead of her hair or her gown or her figure: was such a thing ever to truly be grasped?