“Lord Weston did appear to want to begin his acquaintance with you anew however,” Lady Whitehaven continued gently, looking keenly into Merry’s eyes. “Does that mean that you thought he might wish to pursue you in some way?”
“No, indeed I did not!” Merry exclaimed at once, going hot all over as her mother’s eyes pierced her very heart. “No, I cannot say that I did, Mama.”
Lady Whitehaven hesitated for a moment, then shrugged delicately. “Then if it is only your behavior that concerns you, all you need do is seek Lord Weston out and apologize to him. Then the matter should be freed from your conscience and you can continue on as you are, particularly if Lord Whitaker is eager to pursue you.”
But what if I do not want him to pursue me?
It did not make sense. She should be glad that Lord Whitaker seemed to be interested in her. He had not simply glanced at her, made her acquaintance, asked her to dance, and then left her side only to return when his dance was due. Instead, he had remained and spoken to her at length, asking her about her family, her late father, her interests and the like. He had appeared quite interested in her responses, and for that, she should have been glad. However, all she had been able to think of was Lord Weston and how rudely she had spoken to him. The look on his face as Lord Whitaker had taken her away from his company continued to linger in her mind, making her head heavy and sore.
“I should like to see Lord Whitaker’s reaction should I dress as I usually do, Mama,” she said slowly, looking up to see her mother frown. “I must be convinced that he is interested in who I am rather than how I appear. I know that I do not have a great deal of beauty, but even that–”
“Do as you wish, Merry.”
Her mother’s response surprised Merry entirely, for she had fully expected Lady Whitehaven to refuse to even consider the idea.
“If it will ease your mind and your heart, then you must do as you think fit,” Lady Whitehaven continued. “Although I will insist that you continue to dress fittingly for the social occasions we attend in the evenings. Should Lord Whitaker wish to call upon you, then you may dress as you please. Does that satisfy you?”
Merry nodded, her fingers lacing together as a tight knot of tension settled in her stomach. “It does, Mama.”
“And Lord Weston?”
His dejected face lingered in her thoughts, her heart sinking like a stone all over again. “I shall speak to him, Mama,” she agreed, already going hot all over at the thought of doing so. “I shall admit to my mistake and apologize for it, in the hope that my mind will be freed of all the guilt that I feel.”
Lady Whitehaven nodded. “Very good, Merry. You have a determination about you that I find quite pleasing.” Her smile faded as she continued to regard her daughter. “However, I do wish that you would not keep such emotions to yourself. It is something of a pain for me to see you go through so much alone. You know that I am always ready to listen to you and should never betray an intimacy.”
Merry felt her tears return, but this time she managed to hold them back. “I am aware of that, Mama,” she replied, knowing in her heart that even though her mother had been absolutely determined and stubborn at times, she had done it out of concern for Merry. “I shall consider speaking to you about matters of the heart,” she promised, unable to force herself to do so. “It is not something I am accustomed to, but I will admit that speaking to you as I have done now has been something of a relief.”
Lady Whitehaven’s smile returned. “I am very glad to hear you say so, my dear,” she replied gently. “No more hidden tears, my dear girl. You shall find happiness in the end. I am quite certain of it.”
Chapter Nine
“Is that so?”
For whatever reason, Lady Reid’s usually sparkling conversation held no interest for Thomas today. She had accepted his invitation to take a short walk through Hyde Park, which he had arranged for the fashionable hour, but much to his dismay, Thomas felt no pleasure in her company. It was most disconcerting.
“You are rather quiet today, Lord Weston.”
Thomas cleared his throat and gave her a quick, apologetic look. In the sunlight, Lady Reid looked more like an angel than a mere lady of London, her parasol held carefully so that she would not have even a momentary flicker of sunlight on her face.
“I do apologize, Lady Reid,” he replied, quickly coming up with an excuse. “It is just that I find myself delighting in your company and in listening to what you have to say.”
Lady Reid smiled delicately, although there was no particular warmth in her eyes. “I have been flattered a great deal in my life, Lord Weston,” she murmured. “I do not always accept the compliments given to me, especially if I think they are being used as an excuse for a gentleman to hide behind.”
Thomas blinked and tried his best to look astonished. “I assure you, Lady Reid, it is only that I am overcome with the joy of your company,” he replied, as earnestly as he could. “Surely you must be aware of the gravitas and importance that surrounds you? A gentleman catches the eye of every single gentleman and lady of the ton when he walks with you. I shall be the envy of almost every gentleman we pass, I am quite certain.”
/> This seemed to satisfy Lady Reid, for her eyes glowed with pleasure. “I believe you will be the envy of every gentleman, Lord Weston,” she told him calmly, turning her face back to the path they walked together. “For I have never had a gentleman refuse me a single request before. Not even one who stated he was completely overcome with love for his betrothed.”
This did not bring a smile to Thomas’s face. Instead, his stomach turned over on itself, his heart squeezing painfully as his lips curved into a disdainful grimace. He found no pleasure in what Lady Reid had said, even though he had once boasted the very same thing. That was why he had been so caught up with Miss Wells, was it not? She had refused to step out onto the dance floor with him and, as such, he had found himself angry and confused over her refusal, for it had been the first he had ever encountered. He had been proud that no lady had ever rejected him, had never once turned away from his requests, and yet, now that Lady Reid stated almost the very same thing, he felt disdain for her in a way he had not expected. Guilt stained his heart, making his expression twist all the more. He had no right to think badly of her, not when he was of the very same ilk.
It was all most unsettling. What was becoming of him? Why had he reacted in such a way as this?
“You would not even consider refusing me anything, I think.”
Lady Reid lifted her blue eyes to his, capturing his attention in a moment.
“No, indeed I would not,” Thomas replied firmly, even though his mind was clamoring for him to say something entirely different. “I am aware of just how luck has blessed me with your company, Lady Reid. You cannot imagine just how grateful I am.”
She laughed delicately, drawing the attention of some of the beau monde nearby. Looking up at him, she gave him a long glance, which warmed Thomas’s heart somewhat and chased away his other, more confusing thoughts. Of course, he would give Lady Reid whatever she asked for, just so long as she did not expect him to fall in love with her or seek matrimony. He still had no intention of allowing himself to feel any such emotion and certainly did not want to take a wife!