Catherine nodded and then began to smile, her hands clasping tightly together. An expression of sheer joy came over her face, and she took a small step forward. “I was visiting there only this morning and, as I drew near the doorway, a gentleman hurried out without seeing me. I had to dart out of the way so as not to be knocked over!” She shook her head, a light smile on her lips. “I recognized him, of course, but did not have the courage nor the quickness of mind to speak to him.”
A small flicker of curiosity captured Merry’s heart and, as much as she wanted to ignore it and to remain entirely disinterested, she found she could not. Obviously, Catherine was speaking of Lord Weston, but why would he have been in a charitable house?
“It was Lord Weston,” Catherine continued, seeing Merry’s questioning look. “When I went into the house, I found the lady who oversees it all – Mrs. Stevenson – to be in a flood of tears.”
A gasp escaped from Merry’s throat. “Oh, goodness! What had he done?” She could not understand why Catherine smiled so, why her eyes seemed to glow with happiness, when her friend Mrs. Stevenson had apparently been so very dis
traught.
“He has given the charitable house his winnings.”
Merry’s breath left her lungs in a rush, and she found herself unable to take another one for some moments.
“You see, Merry,” Lady Whitehaven said gently. “That is not the action of a gentleman who is delighting in his success and who cares nothing for you.”
Merry drew in air to her starving lungs, her whole body racked with a sudden trembling. Stepping forward quickly, she sank into a chair whilst her sister and mother drew near to her, with Lady Whitehaven tugging a bell as she passed. Most likely, Merry would be given a cup of tea to restore her, if she did not faint first.
“The Lord Weston I know would not have done such a thing.”
Now it was Titania who spoke, having come into the room without Merry noticing.
“He was entirely selfish, proud, and entitled,” Titania continued, coming to stand in front of Merry. “I knew he treated you ill, but I was glad to see how attentive he became thereafter.” Her lips thinned, and her emerald eyes flashed. “Although if I were a gentleman, I would have called him out over what he has done to you, Merry.”
“I-I cannot believe this,” Merry whispered, not quite certain what to make of all that she had heard. “Lord Weston gave his winnings to a charitable house?” She looked from her mother to Catherine and then to Titania, who all nodded to confirm that this was, in fact, the truth. Merry could not seem to make herself believe it. She wanted to continue thinking that Lord Weston was a rogue and she a fool, that he was callous and cruel, and that every word he had said to her had been nothing but a lie.
Except that now, a flicker of doubt came into her mind and lingered there, sending a flurry of questions into her thoughts.
“Should you have told me some weeks ago that Lord Weston had given his winnings to a charitable house, I would have laughed and told you that you were quite mistaken,” Titania said, after some minutes of quiet had passed. “But to see him do so now, when I know that he cares for you, Merry, convinces me that he is genuine in his affections.”
Lady Whitehaven cleared her throat gently. “Although that does not make up for what he has done, Merry,” she added quickly, as though she wanted to encourage Merry that they were not simply pushing that all aside. “And amends will have to be made–”
“You believe that he cares for me then,” Merry interrupted, her voice breaking with emotion. “You believe that what he said to me about his affections and the like are entirely true.”
Catherine blew out a breath, her expression something of a grimace, before she nodded. “I believe so,” she replied quietly. “I think, Merry, that Lord Weston had discovered a new character within himself and that it has all come about because of his acquaintance with you.”
Did he not say the very same thing himself? said a small voice in Merry’s heart. Did he not tell you that he has found himself so changed by his acquaintance with you?
“He is not the only one who has found himself changed,” Merry whispered to herself, leaning forward and putting her hands on her knees and then her head in her hands as she tried her best to make sense of what had been revealed and what it was doing to her.
“What do you mean, Merry?” Lady Whitehaven asked, coming to sit down in a chair close to her daughter. “Has Lord Weston’s acquaintance changed you also?”
Merry let out a small, sad chuckle. “I think you know that it has done so, Mama,” she replied, looking directly at her mother and seeing the answering smile. “I feel as though I have discovered myself. I have not had to hide in the shadows any longer. I have discovered what it feels like to have a gentleman care about what I say and what I think and what I feel without focusing entirely on my appearance.” She shook her head and let out a long, pained breath. “Lord Weston brought that out in me, Mama,” she finished, her voice tremulous. “He sought the truth from me. He wanted to discover such a thing in order to grow the intimacy between us, and I found myself eager to tell him all. I have never known anything like it before.”
“And he, in turn, spoke honestly to you?”
Merry closed her eyes, feeling another wave of pain surface. “I believed him to be truthful,” she said, her voice now barely louder than a whisper. “That is all.”
Titania leaned forward, having seated herself on a small stool. “But what if he was being truthful, Merry? What if, in pursuing you in order to win the wager, he found himself falling in love with you? He would not know what to do thereafter, would he?”
Merry did not want to admit it, did not want to state that her sister was correct, but she knew that she had no choice but to do so. “Yes,” she whispered. “I recall that he told me he was confused and conflicted, but at the time, I did not know what it was he referred to specifically.”
“And now you do,” Catherine replied firmly. “And even though I am furious with him for what he chose to do, I must now look at his actions thereafter and compare them with what sort of gentleman he was.” She smiled at Merry, her expression a little strained. “He was a fool to make such a wager, Merry, but if it is as Titania believes, if what he said to you about his affections is true, and seeing that he has given his winnings to the charitable house, then is there not an opportunity for you to find a happy and contented future with him?”
“It would mean finding a deep forgiveness for him within your heart,” Lady Whitehaven warned, her tone somber. “Such a thing can be more than a little difficult, Merry, and none of us would expect you to be able to do so with ease.”
Pulling out her handkerchief, Merry dabbed at her eyes. “I do not know if my heart can do such a thing, Mama.”
“Of course it can.”