Matthew’s smile grew still further, clearly surprising Lady Wells as she looked back at him, her eyes holding confusion and a hint of fear.
“I know we have not spoken a good deal since the evening you dined with me, Lady Wells,” he began, keeping his voice soft. “I understand that there were some difficulties there, but I will not ever say that I regret being open with you.” His hand was still holding hers, although he could practically feel the nervousness running through her. “In that moment, I believe that my heart threw itself open and revealed itself in all its entirety to me. I could not turn from it, not when I knew that there was a good deal of affection there within it. Affection for you, Lady Wells.”
Lady Wells stared at him now, her eyes widening all the more. She made to tug her hand away, to turn away from him, but Matthew did not let his gentle grasp go loose. He needed to talk to her. He needed her to understand. He was pursuing her as best he could, determined to win her as he had once thought of winning the Gold Cup. “
“Pray do not turn from me now, Lady Wells,” he begged, his voice dipping low. “Yet, I would not trap you here. If you do not wish me to speak any further, then you may ask it of me and I shall remain entirely silent.” He searched her face, seeing how she looked away from him still, although her hand began to relax once more in his. Her cheeks were flushed with color, and even though she wore her wig and cap, Matthew had never thought her more beautiful.
“I have seen your determination and your strength, Lady Wells,” he told her, when moments passed without a word from her. “I have found my heart sorrowful over your struggles. I have found myself longing to be able to give you what you desire and, in some ways, this is a fulfillment of part of it, although not all.”
“I am very grateful for your kindness, Your Grace,” she replied, her voice thready with emotion. “But you have no need to feel responsible for me.”
A little surprised, Matthew leaned forward, trying to reassure her. “It is not out of a feeling of responsibility that I offer you more than just a temporary position as my jockey,” he told her firmly. “It is because you have captured my heart, Lady Wells.”
Nothing was said for what felt like hours. Lady Wells finally dragged her gaze back to his, her eyes blinking rapidly against what he presumed were tears. Her lips were pressed firmly together, her hand tightening in his. His own heart was beating frantically, waiting for her to react to this revelation but still, she said nothing.
“I-I was not particularly clear before,” he stammered, when she still said not a word. “I tried to offer you marriage without even saying the word. I was not outspoken about the affection that my heart now has for you, but that is because I did not know what to do with the feelings that swarm through me as they do now. I have considered them and allowed them free roam through my heart and all they have done is taken a hold of me further. I care for you vehemently, Lady Wells. I believe I am beginning to fall in love with you and that is the reason that I beg of you to reconsider accepting my hand.”
Lady Wells closed her eyes tightly, her eyelashes damp as a tear slipped from each one. “But that does not change the fact that I am entirely unsuitable for a duke,” she whispered, her breath rattling out of her as she stifled sobs. “I am not at all the right sort of young lady–”
“You are perfectly suited to me, Lady Wells,” he interrupted, reaching forward and brushing his thumb down her soft cheek. “You may consider yourself to be entirely unsuitable, but in that, you are utterly mistaken. I do not care what my mother would say nor what the beau monde would think, for you have become everything to me, my dear lady. You have captured my mind and my heart. I want to be the husband that you require, the husband who will not hold you back and will not restrain you. You and I share the very same passion, and you could be equal partner with me in that.”
Lady Wells let out a half sob, half laugh, dabbing at her eyes. “Except at Tattersall,” she reminded him. It was where ladies were certainly not at all allowed. He could not help but chuckle at this, feeling as though he had broken through one of her barriers to their continuing relationship.
“You might consider keeping your disguise then,” he said, making her laugh in response. “You could come along as a stable boy and enter Tattersall that way.”
She shook her head as though she could not quite believe it. “And you would allow me to do so?”
“I would encourage you to
do so,” he told her, with as much determination as he could muster in his voice. “I want you to have the life of freedom that you desire, in as much as you can have it. I will be there to support you in this, Lady Wells…Catherine.”
At the sound of her name on his lips, Lady Wells ducked her head, but her smile was still evident in her face.
“I will not push you for an answer now,” he told her, putting his free hand atop of their joined ones. “Just consider what I have said, Lady Wells. I mean every word.”
“I know you do,” she answered softly. “I have never doubted your word, Your Grace.” Her eyes caught his for the briefest of moments before lowering again. “Nor can I pretend that I feel nothing for you also, although I have been fighting against such a thing for some time.”
This brought such joy to Matthew’s heart that, for a moment, he could not speak. It was only when she darted another glance towards him that he recovered himself. “That is quite wonderful, Catherine,” he murmured, his heart so filled with affection that it was all he could do not to catch her up in his arms and press his mouth to hers. “It is more than I ever dreamed would be possible between two people.” Leaning forward all the more, he waited until she had lifted her eyes to his, praying that she would hold his gaze. “Do not fear about the race, my love. I do not want you to feel anxious about what position you finish in.”
A flicker crossed her brow. “But you have longed to win the Gold Cup, have you not?” she asked, sounding a little uncertain. “That is why we have trained, is it not?”
“But that no longer holds significance for me, not in the way it once did,” he replied fervently. “My only desire is for you, Catherine. I want you to have the chance to achieve something you have long sought after, and for that, all I wish for is your enjoyment and your happiness. Ride Beauchamp in the knowledge that I care nothing for what position you finish in. I shall be content even if you are last! It is your happiness that I want more than anything else in this world, Catherine. Believe me. The desire for the Gold Cup and for the accolades and prestige that come with it are no longer in my consideration.”
Lady Wells blinked rapidly, clearly a little confused and struggling to accept this, but Matthew simply held her hands and her gaze until that disappeared and the smallest of smiles appeared on her lips, relief a little evident in her eyes.
“Thank you, Your Grace, you–”
“Blackwell,” he interrupted, letting go of her hands as the carriage began to slow. “You must call me Blackwell, Catherine.” He smiled as she blushed and looked away. “I insist upon it.”
“Then I shall obey,” she replied, with a sparkle in her eyes. “And thank you for all that you have done, Blackwell. I did not ever imagine that when I came to see Beauchamp that evening that this would be the result.”
“Nor did I,” he agreed, as the sounds of Ascot Heath began to make their way towards them both. “But I am very glad that they did.”
It was a little over an hour later by the time Matthew had both Beauchamp and Lady Wells prepared. Lady Wells was clad in his jockey’s colors of dark blue and scarlet, with flashes of the same on Beauchamp. Lady Wells was rather pale although the air of determination had not left her.
“I see the Greencoats are doing an excellent job of containing the crowd, as usual,” Matthew remarked, trying to find something to say that would remove some of Lady Wells’ fear. “Their prickers do tend to be quite effective.” He chuckled, recalling how he had often seen a young lad jerking with surprise as the long, spiked stick had caught him in the thigh, forcing him away from the edge of the races. “No one shall come too near to you, Lady Wells, have no fear.”
Lady Wells nodded and gave him a tight smile before beginning to pace up and down.