“Baby,” he says softly, dropping the bag to the floor and taking a step towards me. I retreat in response. I finally have us talking, and if he touches me I know that’ll all go out the window. Carter is too good at distracting me.
“Justin may not have been anything great, and for the record we’re just friends now. We’d never really done anything more than kissing, but I don’t have a lot of friends or people who’ve been here for me and you’re pushing them out of my life – a life that you haven’t been a part of.”
“That’s where you’re wrong. I’ve been a part of your life for nine years.”
Picking up the bag from the floor, I start putting back the things he packed. “I need more. You have to make me understand if you want me to go with you. I’m sure you can pull your Carter caveman act and get me out of this house, but if you want me to come with you without a fight you have to give me more.”
I feel him behind me. He brushes my hair off one shoulder and kisses me softly there.
“I know I can be a dick sometimes. It’s how I grew up. I didn’t get much softness from the world until you. But I’ll take you kicking and screaming, Cherry, because your safety will always come first to me, even if it makes you hate me. That’s something I’ve been dealing with for years. I couldn’t tell you things at first because there were always ears on me and, well, now I’m scared once I lay it all out for you, you’ll truly hate me and run. That’s not something I’m sure I can take.”
I turn and look up into his eyes.
“Please,” I beg in a soft whisper.
“You and those fucking pleases,” he says, pressing his forehead against mine. “All right, I’ll tell you.” Carter picks me up, I wrap my legs around him, and he sits in the corner chair in my bedroom. “I’m going to lay it all out for you and then you can ask your questions if you have any.”
“Mmkay,” I mumble, and place a soft kiss on his lips for encouragement. I’ve never seen Carter so off balance like this before. It makes me want to pull him closer.
“I’ve been running the streets since I was a teenager. My home life wasn’t great, but it was a place to go at night and not have to watch my back like a lot of the kids in the neighborhood had to. That all changed one night when I came home and found my parents dead. My father was tied to a chair and shot in the head. My mother was lying in a pool of her own blood. It looked like they were using her to make my father talk. What they wanted from him I don’t know.”
I lean forward and nuzzle my face into the side of his neck planting soft little kisses there. I can’t imagine Carter as a young boy finding his parents like that.
“I ended up in the system and it didn’t work for me. I had a lot of rage and fought a lot. I would get sent to one home then another. I finally got so sick of it I just took off and went back to my old neighborhood. Cops could never figure out who killed my parents, but now knowing what I know I think they were paid not to ask questions. “
“Oh, Carter,” I gasp against his neck.
“I found focusing on revenge for my parents helped calm my anger, so that’s what I did. I made friends, did some shady shit, and slowly built myself a crew. But I did something not a lot of people do. I didn’t let people know I was in charge. Saint and I made ourselves out like we worked with a crew, just part of the team. No one ever met the boss so no one knew I was the boss. Everyone just thought Saint and I reported to someone higher up. I don’t have a need for power like most of these bosses do. Fuck that shit. I just want control and I’ll do whatever I need to get that control. Even if that means pretending to be a nobody. I don’t need people kissing my ass. I just need them to get done what needs to be done.
“Then I put feelers out. When you work on the streets, you start to pick up people’s MOs and it didn’t take me long to see the similarities between my parents’ murders and how O’Leary likes to take people down. He has this thing for going after men through women. This isn’t normal. Most crews leave the women alone. It’s like an unspoken rule.”
I close my eyes and squeeze them tight. How could this man want to be with me? My father killed his family. I can feel warm tears slip past my eyelids.
“Your father ran a pretty dirty crew and didn’t like to play by any rules. I knew if I wanted to get close to him, I had to catch his attention, be something he wanted. Fighting gets you noticed on the streets, so that’s what I started doing. I’d get into any underground fight I could find. It’s not hard to become the best and the most vicious when you don’t think you have much to live for. I also had my crew start spreading rumors that I could be bought. It didn’t take long to get noticed and your father hired me. He thought I came from another crew and he snatched me up. I didn’t plan on being there long. In and out. I wanted to destroy his world. Make his little empire fall…but then, there was you.”
Sitting up, I look into his eyes. His whole tone changed when the story came back to me.