As her watch beeped midnight Abby jumped, came to and saw that all around her guests were milling, saying their goodbyes and their thank yous, which meant that she had to meet Leo in an hour, and the conversation she’d planned, the things she’d planned, were history because everything had now irrevocably changed.
* * *
Hexagonal in shape and having seen its fair share of romantic trysts, the folly was by the lake and, tonight, lit by the full moon. The arches were in shadow and the patches of stone that the moss hadn’t yet reached gleamed pale in the silvery light. The only sounds were the faint breeze that blew in off the lake, the rustling from nearby trees and the thud of his footsteps along the path.
Not that Leo gave a damn about the atmosphere.
All he cared about as he strode towards the folly at a couple of minutes before the appointed hour was the woman he hoped to meet within. Meet, haul into his arms and carry off to his bed, with any luck.
And there she was. Standing beneath one of the arches, her face pale in the moonlight but so lovely that his heart turned over and he nearly missed his footing.
‘Hi,’ he said when he reached her, vaguely wondering whether it would be a bit presumptuous to take her in his arms and kiss her senseless before he’d heard what she had to say.
‘Hi,’ she said, although her smile seemed strained.
‘Well?’
Abby took a deep breath and the tension inside him wound tighter than he’d have thought possible.
‘I nearly didn’t come.’
Leo went still, some sixth sense alerting him to the fact that something wasn’t quite right. What the hell? Hadn’t they got beyond games? ‘Why not?’
‘Because I thought I could do this, then I realised I couldn’t. But I have to because I may be many things but I’m not a hypocrite.’
‘I don’t understand,’ he said with a frown.
‘How do you feel about me, Leo?’
Huh? What? What was this? Hadn’t he already told her? Well, that was fine. If she needed reassurance he’d give it to her. ‘I want you. A lot. More than I’ve ever wanted anyone before.’
‘Is that it?’
No, of course that wasn’t it. ‘I like you. Enormously. I admire you and respect you. I think you’re great.’
She shook her head, her face sad. ‘It’s not enough.’
‘How can it not be enough?’ he asked, running his hands through his hair for something to do with them because he was now genuinely perplexed and not a little alarmed.
‘It just isn’t.’
‘Why not?’
‘Because the thing is, Leo, you don’t want a relationship, and I, I’ve discovered, do. Specifically, with you. A long one. Maybe even the for-ever kind.’
‘What?’ he said faintly, not getting—maybe not wanting to get—what she was talking about.
‘I’m in love with you, Leo. Totally in love with you. You bring disorder to my order and try as I might I don’t dislike it. You hurt me, and I let it go. You’re the man I can imagine spending the rest of my life with, the only man. So I really, really wish I could have a fling with you but I can’t. It would just be too awful when it finished.’
If someone had hit him over the head with a branch Leo couldn’t have been more stunned. He couldn’t think. Couldn’t speak. Could barely remain upright, because, damn, this was not the way he’d expected their rendezvous to go.
‘And I know that’s not what you wanted to hear,’ she continued, very calm, very controlled, ‘so I don’t expect you to do or say anything in response. You’ve made your position on the subject of relationships very clear, and that’s fair enough. I understand it. But nevertheless I can’t help the way I feel. So I’m sorry, Leo, I really am, but I think it’s best if we say goodbye.’
And with that, she walked over to him, gave him a brief, searing kiss on the mouth that blitzed his brain and rooted him to the spot, and, after a couple of moments during which she looked at him as if trying to peer into his soul, was gone.
* * *
Don’t look back, don’t look back, don’t look back.