The conversation had turned to the series Milly was watching on Netflix but Kate hadn’t been able to focus. She’d been too concerned about why Theo had really shown up. When she’d questioned the staff, however, they’d reassured her that the only instruction Theo had issued was that Milly was to have whatever she needed. Kate had been sceptical, but gradually she’d come to accept it in much the same way she’d come to accept the flush of heat she experienced every time she looked at the fresh flowers that arrived weekly and reminded her of that Friday evening.
From the man himself she’d heard nothing, nor had she expected to. He’d been very clear about what he was offering and she had no reason to doubt that, which was fine because there was no future to be had with him. Apart from above average height and intense chemistry they had nothing remotely in common, and she’d neither seen nor heard any evidence to suggest he did relationships even if they had.
She hadn’t bumped into him at work, thank God. As she’d suspected they trod completely different paths, so there’d been no awkward moments in a lift and no darting into nearby cupboards in an effort to avoid him. She kept her head down and worked hard, passing her probation and being given the pay rise she’d brazenly asked for after recalling what he’d said about tall people earning more.
So far, so fabulous.
But now...
Well...
Who knew what happened now?
Taking a sip of her tea to settle her churning stomach, Kate thought of the small pile of pink and white sticks on the vanity unit in the bathroom and felt her throat tighten and her head spin.
She was pregnant.
Not sick with a stomach bug as she’d assumed two days ago when she’d rung up and told her line manager she was too ill to come in.
Pregnant.
And there was no doubt about it. Because while one test might be faulty, all ten were unlikely to be, damn them and their over ninety-nine per cent accuracy.
But how could it have happened? she wondered for the billionth time since the breakfast she’d thrown up, when her brain had finally connected the random dots of early morning nausea, a missed period and recent sex. It didn’t make any sense. She was no expert but she and Theo had only done it the once and he’d used protection. She’d even watched him rolling the condom on. They were supposed to be pretty infallible, weren’t they, so how? Had he done it wrong? Had he ripped it? Had it somehow been her?
More importantly, more relevantly, since it was a little late to be worrying about the hows and the whys, what was she going to do? Because she couldn’t have a baby. Still riddled with issues despite her best efforts to get over them, she was a mess. She was not equipped to bring up a child. She had no support network. None of her friends had children and her sister wasn’t capable of understanding her situation. She had no mother to lean on and from whom to seek advice. She didn’t even have grandmothers or aunts. And what about the baby’s father? She couldn’t imagine Theo wanting to be involved. She couldn’t imagine what he’d think. She couldn’t even go there right now.
And then there was the pregnancy itself. If she thought she was large and ungainly now, imagine how she’d look in nine months’ time. Whales and ships in full sail sprang to mind, and, oh, the comments she’d get, the looks... How would she stand it all?
Yet the longing she felt... The yearning that filled every single inch of her to bursting... She’d only known about the baby for a handful of hours, but right down to her bones she wanted it. Desperately. Her heart and mind ached with it. She was so lonely and she had so much love to give. And an even greater capacity to receive it. A baby would never judge her and find her lacking. The love they’d share would be unconditional, and the mere thought of it was so intoxicating, so powerful that it shook her to the core.
There’d already been such loss in her life, she thought, her chest squeezing as she glanced at the photo on the bookshelf, the one taken of her, her parents and her siblings at the beach twelve years ago, all beaming carefree smiles and simple happiness. Such sorrow and grief. Such heartbreak. Here was her chance to rebuild the family she’d lost. To rediscover that happiness. To love and be loved. How could she not take it?
And so what if she did have issues? Who didn’t? She could do it. Of course she could. Thousands of women had children in challenging circumstances and, really, how challenging were hers? Now she was debt-free and Milly was taken care of she could build her resources back up. And as for help and advice, there was always the Internet. It wouldn’t be easy, but if she took things one step at a time and kept her head, surely she’d be able to muddle through.
And who knew? Maybe she wouldn’t even have to do it on her own. There was only one way to find that out. Besides, Theo had the right to know about the baby, of that she was certain. And so while he’d had no reason whatsoever to contact her, she now had a very good one to contact him.
* * *
For the last four weeks Theo had found himself flat out, with a workload of Everest-like proportions.
The acquisition of the company he’d been pursuing for months was not going according to plan. Despite putting the best brains he had on it, including his own, he still hadn’t come up with a way to clear the obstacles blocking the path.
Unlike every other deal he’d done, where the other side put up the semblance of a fight but inevitably collapsed during the negotiations, this one was proving trickier. Unusually, money wasn’t the issue. The offer his corporate finance team had put together was the best on the table. The problem was that the current owner, a man with solidly traditional values and an extraordinary belief that ruthlessness wasn’t a necessary ingredient for success, had more than enough money and was instead primarily concerned with the personality and integrity of the potential new owner. Incredibly, he appeared to have doubts about him, Theo, in this role.
Theo wanted to acquire Double X Enterprises with a hunger that gnawed away at him ceaselessly. It would be his biggest deal to date, the biggest the world had ever seen, and when he got it, it would be enough. He’d at last be satisfied. He’d have secured his place at the top, and the restlessness and the worthlessness that had dogged him for so long would be vanquished.
So he was not going to let it slip through his fingers simply because Daniel Bridgeman had an issue with him personally. He might be ruthless when the situation called for it but his integrity was without question. As for his personality, the aloofness and steel that the business press attributed to him suited him just fine. He was more than comfortable with being described as an ice-cool automaton. It was entirely accurate. Emotions were dangerous. They put a person at risk in so many ways just the thought of what could happen, what had already happened, made him break out into a cold sweat. He’d kept a lid on his for so long he doubted he had any of the damn things left anyway.
Regardless of the obstacles, though, he’d find a way to persuade Daniel Bridgeman to give him what he wanted. The man would fold eventually. Everyone did. He just had to identify his weak spot and drive a knife through it.
And in truth, the immense workload was welcome, especially today, the anniversary of his mother’s death, which still hit him with the force of a sledgehammer no matter how major the distraction. He was no stranger to twenty-hour days. He’d been working all hours since he was fourteen, when he’d figured the only way he and his mother could escape his father’s brutality was by being financially independent. He’d wheeled and dealed, buying low, creating value and selling high, grafting every spare minute he had with the sole aim of making enough to set them free, his relentless drive and grim determination to succeed surging with every muffled thud, every desperate cry, every sickening silence.
No one apart from himself had expected him to have such a knack for it. He’d shown little talent for anything at school apart from truancy and brawling. Yet he’d never forget the day he’d turned sixteen and told his mother that he’d amassed one hundred thousand pounds and that they should pack their bags.
He’d never forget her reaction either. The profound relief and gratitude and the maternal pride he’d been expecting were nowhere to be seen. Instead, once she’d recovered from her shock, she’d been appalled. To his bewilderment she’d refused to leave, and no amount of pleading on his part had moved her. Stunned, unable to comprehend it and devastated by her rejection and betrayal, Theo had left alone and had barely looked back.
It had been eight years since his mother died of a brain haemorrhage that he was convinced had been caused by his father although nothing could ever be proven, but the effects of how his sixteenth birthday had played out were deep-rooted and long-lasting. He’d never understand his mother’s reasons for choosing to stay with a man who hit her instead of fleeing with a son who needed her, and he doubted he’d ever be free of the irrational guilt that he’d left instead of staying and trying harder to protect her despite her rejection.