‘Did you ask about him?’
‘I used to, when I was younger. She didn’t say much. Every now and again she’d make a comment. Enough for me to glean how much he’d hurt her, and that she’d never got over that.’
I nod. ‘Ryan was charming. He could convince just about anyone to do anything for him. It was quite terrifying to watch.’
‘He sounds like a peach.’
I laugh. ‘He was a one-off. But the guys—Jagger, Theo, Holden—they’re some of the best men you could ever know. You can choose not to meet them—and maybe they’ll even accept your wishes—but you’ll be doing yourself a real disservice.’
‘I don’t need them.’ The words are said like a battle cry. She issues it fiercely, her eyes meeting mine, so I wonder then what it would be like to be Avery—so determined to go through life alone, never relying on anyone, never letting them in.
‘But does that mean you can’t want them?’
She scoops some food into her mouth then swallows. ‘You should eat. You were ravenous, remember?’
Conversation closed. Except I don’t want it to be. ‘I will.’ To prove my point I take a large bite, drink some wine. ‘Just because you’ve been alone a long time doesn’t mean you have to keep living like this.’
A pause. I watch emotions I don’t understand pass across her face. ‘How I live my life is none of your business.’
She’s right. Frustration builds in my gut.
‘Why don’t you let me tell you about them? Maybe if you knew what they were like you’d change your mind.’
‘Unlikely.’
‘Then let me tell you about Felicity.’
‘Who’s Felicity? Wait, don’t tell me. I have a long-lost sister now too.’
‘Felicity is your niece.’
That surprises her. She turns to me quickly, her lips forming a perfect ‘O’, as though it hadn’t occurred to her that having brothers would lead to having sisters-in-law and nieces and nephews too.
‘She’s only a baby, a year or so old. She’s cute and funny and incredibly opinionated. Do you want to see a photo of her?’
‘No.’ A sharp denial. ‘You have photos of her with you?’
I roll my eyes affectionately. ‘Try to stop Jagger from sending them. Seriou
sly, I must get six WhatsApp messages a day, all with photos of Felicity and updates of what she’s doing now.’
This slice of the Harts is having an impact on her. She’s starting to think of them as real people, not an abstract concept, not just strangers who’ve hurt her with their absence—even when that absence was completely out of their control.
‘I didn’t see that coming. After their childhood—they were all pretty messed up by Ryan, you know—I thought none of them would ever have kids, settle down. Now they’re all married and I’m the last man standing.’
That captures her attention. I’ve inadvertently led her away from the Harts and back to me, and she sees the opportunity to wriggle out of this conversation. ‘And you’re quite the ladies’ man?’ she prompts, smiling slowly, relief obvious in her expression.
‘Not really.’
‘Liar.’ She grins. ‘I’ll bet you have a different girl in every city.’
Her assumption is exasperating. ‘No. I’m not like that.’
‘There’s nothing wrong with being like that.’
I sigh. ‘That’s not what I meant. Sure, I like women, I like dating, I like sex, I like fun, but I’m not like the Harts. My parents have as close to a perfect marriage as you could get. They’re happy, respectful, committed, content. I always thought I’d have that one day too.’
‘But?’