Burn My Hart (The Notorious Harts 2)

* * *

It’s weird how Grace and I have stayed in contact, and now become friends, but we have. It has nothing to do with Theo. I had to make her swear, right from the outset, not to talk to me about him. It was the only way I could move forward with my life; I needed a clean break.

But sitting across from her in this impossible-to-get-into sushi bar, I feel the question tripping out of me at every opportunity, so I basically have to bite my tongue to stop from asking how he is.

Some time after our second pot of green tea, she volunteers the information anyway.

‘He’s doing okay, you know.’

My eyes lift to hers, trepidation in my voice when I answer. ‘I’m glad.’

‘Are you?’

I swallow. ‘Sure. I don’t wish him any harm.’

She smiles, a small smile. ‘And you, Asha? Are you okay?’

I nod, pasting a smile on my face. ‘Never better.’

‘Liar.’

‘Why do you say that?’

‘Because I know what heartbreak looks like.’ Her eyes grow moist and she reaches over, putting her hand on mine. ‘I’m so sorry.’

What else can either of us say?

I smile bleakly but it’s something.

‘Tell me something happy,’ I urge. ‘Cheer me up.’

‘I do have good news, in fact.’ She leans forward, her eyes bright. ‘I’m going to be a mom.’

* * *

I walk around the city for a few hours after lunch. I just need to clear my head and I can’t think straight at

my place, where Theo’s ghost seems to hang out, waiting to blow memories into my brain. I can’t escape him. He’s everywhere. Even now, eight weeks after I ended it, I feel his presence and I want to... I don’t know. I stop walking and press my back to a building, closing my eyes.

‘You all right, lady?’ A guy in a backwards-turned baseball cap approaches me.

I nod. ‘I’m fine.’ Then, belatedly, ‘Thanks.’

But I’m not fine. I wind up back at my office, not my home. It’s the one place Theo never came to, the one place I can be without imagining him. Here, at least, there’s a modicum of peace, albeit fleeting.

I lose myself in my work, just like I have done every day for the last eight weeks, and I do everything I can to push Theo from my mind, just for a moment, just for a bit.

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

IT’S AFTER JAGGER and Grace have gone back to Australia that I find myself thinking about them, thinking about their marriage and their life, the baby that’s on the way. I find myself remembering the way they are together and contrasting that to the way Jagger was with his first wife. Holden and I hated Lorena from day dot—she was using him and it was patently obvious to everyone except Jagger. So when I first heard Jagger was getting married again I was wary for him. Hadn’t he learned his lesson?

Hadn’t we all?

But seeing them together...it’s so different. They’re so different. Jagger and Grace are nothing like Jagger and Lorena, nothing like Dad and his wives. It all seems so natural and easy between them.

It felt natural and easy between Asha and me. Everything about her made me happy, made me smile. Why couldn’t we just keep going as we were?

I stalk towards my bedroom window and stare out at Manhattan, drawing in deep, strangled breaths. The sound of my lungs pumping fills the room.