Bitter

I look back toward the bedroom door and then to Jason. “I can’t,” my voice cracks. I can feel tears pricking my eyes again. I’m such a mess.

He leans his head back against the chair. “So I have to be the one to tell him?”

“I don’t know how to say no to him,” I say honestly.

He stands from the chair and walks closer to me. “So don’t.”

I look down at the floor again. “I’m a mess. I’m making his life a mess. He doesn’t deserve that.”

He looks at me more seriously. “Reed’s a big boy. You don’t have to make decisions for him. He knows what he’s doing.”

I sigh again. “That makes one of us.”

He continues to look at me, so I add on. “I shouldn’t have come here.”

“Then why did you?” he asks, making his point obvious.

“I didn’t realize things were going to be so complicated,” I try to avoid the question.

He raises an eyebrow. “Really? I thought you would have realized that when you asked him to fuck you.”

I slap my hand over my eyes. “God! Jason! Do you guys keep nothing to yourselves?”

“No,” he says as he leans back against the couch. “So as an objective third party, I see it like this. You want him. He wants you. What’s complicated about that?”

I roll my eyes. “You’re only leaving out the part about him being my dead husband’s brother.”

He shrugs like that’s not a big deal at all. “I’d hardly call Jake your husband. Unless you’re telling me that you were planning on working things out with him.”

I shake my head at the floor, and he continues. “Exactly. So Reed is just your ex’s brother. More like an estranged brother. A distant relative if you will.”

I let out a small laugh. “People don’t know about me and Jake. They won’t see it that way.”

He gives me a confused look. “So that’s what this is about? You care about what people will think?”

I shake my head. “Of course not. It’s more than that.” I pause. “Reed doesn’t deserve that though. It’s his family. He has a chance to mend that relationship. I can’t be the one to get in the way of that.”

Jason laughs. “You really think he wants to do that?”

I shrug. “Of course he’d say no, but I know he’s hurt. Things are at a tipping point right now. He can either make things worse or things can be different moving forward. I’m not in a place in my life where I can give him what he deserves.”

He sighs. “So you want me to tell him to move things forward with Katie?”

I make a disgusted face because I think I am actually physically ill from hearing that. Jason rolls his eyes. “So no?” he laughs. “So you don’t want a relationship with him, but he also can’t date other people?” he mocks.

I pinch my lips together. “He doesn’t want a relationship with me. Let’s not exaggerate things.”

He sighs again. “Look, I’m trying to figure out how to be a good friend here and not say more than I should, but don’t you find it a little strange that he is only now interested in you?”

I look at him funny. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

He blows out a breath. “Nevermind. I’ve said too much as is. You guys need to talk to each other about this. I shouldn't be involved.”

I look down at the ground again and then back at him. “If he happens to be upset when he wakes up, will you tell him he was making a mistake?”

“Wren…” he sighs.

“Please,” I beg. “He already thinks it. He’s told me so many times. I can’t do this to him anymore. Not after everything he’s done for me.”

“He’s not going to listen to me,” he says, but the way he sighs lets me know he’ll do it anyway.

I step forward and kiss his cheek. “Thanks Jason. You’re a good friend.”

I step away and walk out before I change my mind. Jason is right. I can’t hold Reed back from being with someone else when I can’t be with him myself.