Bitter

Chapter 12

I groan as I flip the TV channel again trying to find something to watch. I’m so bored. It’s been four days since I’ve texted Reed, and we haven’t talked since. I picked up some extra shifts to distract me. Luckily Kirk was out the whole week on vacation. Hopefully by the time he gets back enough time will have passed to not make things awkward between us.

I didn’t realize how lonely I’d be without Reed here every night. I glance down at my phone again. My finger hovers over the download button on the dating app I searched in the app store. I hesitate while thinking about whether this is a good idea or not. I don’t want to actually date anyone on there, but it would be nice to just have some people to talk to.

One of Jake’s cousins suggested it to me last week. We aren’t super close since she lives across the country, but she’s always been nice to me. She texted me last week to see how I was doing, and that’s when she mentioned the idea. She said she used the app before after a bad breakup. She was able to put her location as somewhere far away, so she wouldn’t match with anyone nearby. Then she used it just to have some people to talk to. It helped with the loneliness she was feeling.

I download the app, but then I stop before signing up when it gets to the upload photos page. I haven’t taken any recent pictures of only myself. All my photos are of me and Jake.

I close the app and pull up my phone contacts. There’s gotta be someone I can talk to that isn’t connected to Jake. I scroll through for a bit before going back and stopping at Andy aka grocery store hottie’s name. I could text him. He certainly knows how to flirt.

I pause before clicking on the text button though. What if that makes things awkward? I still shop at that store. I don’t want to say something I’ll regret just because I’m lonely right now.

I scroll back down the list again until I stop at Reed’s name. He’s the real reason I don’t want to talk to anyone else. Because I’m not just lonely. I miss Reed specifically.

I click on the text button and open our thread. This is probably a bad idea, but I don’t care right now.

Me: The house feels empty without you.

It shows he’s typing back. It’s getting late, so he is probably in bed on his phone.

Reed: The house is Jake’s. It feels empty without him. I’m not his fill in.

I blow out a breath and re-read the text. I wasn’t expecting him to come out so strong to start. I don’t know why I guess. He’s never tried to hide his thoughts from me before.

Me: Tell me why I’m thinking about you instead of him then.

Reed: Wren. Please don’t.

I sigh, feeling guilty.

Me: Okay. Sorry. You’re right.

I see he’s typing again, and my heart speeds up.

Reed: Fuck you, Wren! Why do you have to do this to me?

I know I probably shouldn’t, but I smile at his text. I don’t even care if he’s mad. At least he’s talking to me.

Me: I know. You’re right. I’m sorry. I’m messed up. I’m lonely.

Reed: Stop. Stop making me feel things I don’t want to be feeling. I’m mad. Don’t make me feel for you.

My heart jumps in my chest.

Me: Feel for me or feel bad for me?

Reed: I can’t do this.

Me: I understand. I just missed you. Wanted to make sure everything was okay. Have a good night, Reed.

Reed: Don’t say that.

Me: Tell me why it feels like you don’t actually want me to stop any of this?

Reed: I do.

I smirk because he wouldn’t still be responding if he wanted me to.

Me: I think you miss me too.

Reed: Of course I do. You already know I do. I haven’t stopped thinking about you since the moment I woke up alone in that bed.

Fuck. I sometimes wish he wasn’t so honest with me.

Me: You know why I had to leave.

Reed: Yeah. Because you can’t resist me.

I laugh at my phone.

Me: I seem to recall being able to resist you just fine.

Reed: You were wet.