I stop at the bar and get a glass of wine before heading to one of the bar tables outside to eat my dessert. Most of the people have gathered out here already since the couple is doing the first dance.
I watch them as I stuff my face with dessert. I’m happy for Tina. Really I am. It’s just that this reminds me of my own wedding and first dance. I think back to how happy I was that day. I was so hopeful that everything was going to work out. It was like I finally reached that point in my life where things were going to start working out for me. I was so broken after Dan that I didn’t think I would ever get that perfect family that I always wanted growing up.
I was so blinded by the thought of what could be that I fooled myself into thinking everything was going to work out. I don’t know why I expected better. Look at what a mess I’ve made now.
I’m actually surprised I’ve latched onto Reed. If I were continuing my pattern, wouldn’t I find someone that I could imagine my future with? My second chance at love? My savior rebound? That can’t be Reed.
Maybe that’s it. Maybe I know we could never actually have a relationship, and I like the thought of not having to hope for a future when I know there can’t be one. I don’t have to pretend everything is going to be perfect. I can be perfectly broken with him.
I glance around trying to find him until my eyes lock on him. Him and Katie are across on the other side of the dance floor. Luckily before I am caught stalking them, Tina comes up to me. I give her another congratulatory hug, and we chat for a minute.
She nods toward the dance floor. “Please get the dancing going. I need all my hot, single friends out there to keep the party going.”
I laugh. “I’d hardly call myself a hot, single.”
She raises her eyebrows at me. “Who are you kidding? In that dress? No girl, you know exactly what you’re doing,” she smirks.
I give a shy smile, and she grins back. “And don’t let anyone give you shit for it either. People all move on in different ways. Don’t put your happiness on hold because you’re scared you haven’t been sad long enough.”
I don’t know why her words affect me so much. Maybe because I haven’t really had a friend through all of this. She’s the only one who hasn’t told me how to move on, how to grieve. Even Reed, as supportive as he’s been, has tried to tell what I am and am not capable of.
She takes another look at me and sees I’m on the verge of crying, so she pulls me into another hug. The moment she does, I can’t hold back the few tears that slip down my face. I quickly try to pull it back together because I don’t want to take away from her big day. I pull back and smile at her. “Whew!” I fan myself. “Weddings really bring out the emotions,” I joke.
A hand touches my back, and I turn to find Reed standing there. I’m not sure how he got over here so fast. I give him a questioning look, and he looks at me with concern. “Everything okay?” he asks.
Tina rolls her eyes. “Relax, Reed. Wren is perfectly capable of taking care of herself.”
I give him a smile agreeing with her, and he is not amused. That only seems to push Tina further. “Actually Wren, I need you. I promised Cody, the best man, that I’d find him someone to dance with.”
Reed glares at her. “That’s hardly appropriate.”
She smiles bigger. “Well, how about you go find your date and bring her out on the dance floor, and you can continue playing protector.”
He glances over to where he left Katie, and at least has the decency to look guilty for ditching her. He glares back at Tina again. “Don’t push her, Tina. You don’t have to go home with her tonight. I’m the one who has to listen to her cry herself to sleep at night.”
“Reed!” I say harshly. “I think that’s enough.”
His eyes shoot to mine, and they fill with warmth when he looks at me. I want to be mad at him for revealing too much information, but I didn’t realize he could hear me crying at night. Besides the time he busted into my room, I thought I kept my crying to myself.
Tina senses that we might need a moment, so she ducks away. “I’ll go find Cody,” she says and walks away.
“I’m sorry,” he whispers. “I crossed a line.”
I want to be mad, but I don’t know why I can’t. I put on a front. “I need to feel safe in my own home, Reed. I don’t need you telling people my business.”
He nods. “Understood. It won’t happen again.”
“Good,” I say. “Now go back to Katie, and I’ll talk to you at home.”
I turn to leave, and he groans behind me. “Wren…c’mon.”
I glance over my shoulder and nod toward Katie. “Go,” I say with a smirk.
I walk over to where Tina is now waving me to. “Wren!” she calls. “Come!”
I walk up to her and the groomsman I’m assuming is Cody. “This is Cody,” Tina says.
I give him a flirty smile. “Hi.”
He’s cute enough and has a friendly smile, so I accept when he asks me to dance with him. It’s still early in the night, so the band is playing slower songs.
Not long after he pulls me close, Reed shows up on the dance floor with Katie. He better be careful though with the way his eyes are watching me the whole time or people are going to start to notice.
I try to avoid looking at him and focus on my own partner, but my eyes can’t help themselves as they continue to wander back his way. After the first song, Katie excuses herself to the restroom, and Cody is called away for the cake cutting.
I’m about to walk off the dance floor to go back to one of the tables when Reed stops me. He grabs my hand and pulls me back to the center of the dance floor where he pulls me up against his body as he places his hand on my back and the other in my hand.