Perfect Tenn

“Can we please not talk about penis,” Jennifer says, tucking her perfectly straight brown hair behind her ears.

Holly and I laugh at her prudeness. “Jennifer, I can’t imagine how boring your sex life is,” Holly says, sipping her wine.

“There is nothing boring about it at all,” Jennifer protests.

“Do you ever do any other position besides missionary?” I ask, generally interested.

She moves to the chair and crosses her long legs. Holly and I look at each other, trying to hold back a laugh. I’ll never understand why she gets so pissy, she knows how we are.

“How about we talk about your date tomorrow?” She changes the subject.

Knowing all too well how it feels to be put in an uncomfortable position, I go along with it. Once the wine kicks in, we will be talking all kinds of shit.

“How about we just say that I’m going, and if it doesn’t work out well I’ll considering becoming a lesbian.” I sip my wine, raising my eyebrows. “Who wants to sleep over?”

Holly and I burst out laughing, and Jennifer simply smiles shaking her head. Whatever.

We spend the next few hours eating a whole pizza, drinking two bottles of wine, and talking about everything and anything. Jennifer ended up leaving about an hour ago because she couldn’t possibly be away from her man that long. Fucking gag me.

“What time is Tenn coming home?” Holly asks, fixing her blonde ponytail.

“How should I know? And don’t try sneaking into his room in the middle of the night like last time. He had to sleep with a fucking nightlight for weeks after that,” I say, laughing.

“I won’t go in unless he gives me that look.”

I continue to laugh as I pour myself another glass of wine. “What look?”

She dramatically holds her hands by her heart and sighs. “That look that says, Hey come ride my huge cock.”

She’s serious, which makes me laugh harder. “Holly, I’ve known him most of my life, and I can assure you he has no such look. I think that

is wishful thinking, girl.”

“Whatever, put the movie on,” she pouts. “I’m going to the bathroom.”

Just as she closes herself in there, Tenn comes walking in. I jump off the couch, banging my knee. “Ouch, fuck,” I whisper as I limp toward him.

“Excited to see me?” he jokes, bending down to rub my knee.

I pull at his shirt to make him stand up straight, looking at him with frantic eyes. “No, I’m fucking saving you. Go in your room and lock the door. Holly thinks you are going to give her a ‘come ride my huge cock’ look and she’ll need to come in your room,” I rush out.

“Oh fuck no, and wait what? Come ride my huge cock look?” he says, watching over my shoulder.

“Tenn, I don’t fucking know what she’s talking about. She’s drunk so that doesn’t help. Now, go hide and after this movie I’ll get her into my room to sleep.”

He leans forward and kisses my forehead. “You’re the best. If she takes up your whole bed again, knock three times and I’ll let you in.”

We both laugh as he rushes to his room, but I may very well take him up on it. Last time she slept here she actually kicked me so hard I fell off the bed.

Halfway through the movie she starts to nod off, and I know I need to get her into my room or Tenn won’t even be able to take a piss without army crawling to the bathroom.

“Holly, come on let’s go to bed,” I say shoving her shoulder.

She opens her brown eyes, and I can clearly see how drunk she is. “Where’s Tenn?”

I laugh and pull her off the couch. “He slept out. Come on.”

She climbs into bed and within seconds she is passed out. I, on the other, hand am suddenly wide awake. Holly keeps tossing and turning, hitting me with her elbow, knee, and foot. Huffing, I move closer to the edge and roll onto my side. How does she sleep with so many guys? I mean don’t they get annoyed with her steamroller ways? I force my eyes closed and start to think about my date tomorrow and what I’m going to wear. That’s when her fucking arm comes down on my face, hitting me right in the eye.