“I have no idea, Regan. I’ve got a shit load to do, so probably not until late,” he rushes out.
“Oh, well Holly wants to go out, but I didn’t know if I should blow her off.”
“Listen, I can’t bullshit right now. Go out, I’ll see you when I see you,” he says and hangs up.
I pull the phone away from my ear and stare at it. He didn’t even say goodbye or that he loves me. What the fuck? I toss the phone down and go into the kitchen to heat up pizza from last night. I’m not going to sit around and wait on him, that’s not who I am. Fuck him.
After eating, I take a shower and throw on my favorite ripped jeans and black spaghetti strap tank top. I do my hair with a riot of curls and put on some heavy makeup. I look at myself in the mirror and smile.
Yep, he’s missing out on this tonight.
Holly and I have been drinking, heavily. We’ve had a lot of laughs, but I can’t help that my mind keeps going to Tenn. I’ve checked my phone no less than fifty times and nothing. How is he not home yet, it’s past midnight?
“Regan, stop checking your phone,” Holly yells.
“Sorry, it’s just…well what were you saying today? What did you mean he’s not working at work?” I ask, even though I damn well know what she meant.
“Come on, I’m sure it’s nothing. Maybe he really is working late,” she says.
“Okay, but what if he isn’t. What would he be doing?”
“What or who?” she says, raising her eyebrows.
“He’s cheating on me?” I yell, even though it’s the exact thought I was having.
She finishes off her drink and shrugs. “I’m not saying he is, I’m saying in my experience that when they ‘work late’ they are working on fucking someone. I’m sure that’s not Tenn, though. I mean, usually it happens slowly. You know, working late, sex gets less and less, he rushes you off the phone, shit like that,” she explains.
My heart sinks in my stomach, and I need to swallow a few times. “That’s happening,” I whisper.
“No, wait, what is?” she asks.
I go order us each another drink and bring it back to the table. “So, listen. Sunday he wanted to stick his finger in my ass, and I stopped him. Since then he’s been weird. Working late, rushing me off the phone. We’ve only had sex once and that was because I climbed on him waking him up,” I rush out.
“Damn, two timing Tenn,” she mumbles.
“No way, how could it change so fast?” I question.
“Regan, I don’t know if he’s cheating for sure, but maybe you were only appealing to him when it was the chase. You guys have been together a few months now. You’re a given. Maybe he’s looking for a new challenge,” she says.
I don’t want to believe it, I mean it’s Tenn. He loves me, worships me even. But it’s Tenn, the guy who slept around with more women than I can even count. Maybe Holly is right, maybe it was the chase, the excitement of wanting what he couldn’t have. Now that he has it, maybe the fun is over.
It actually makes me sick to my stomach to think this way because it’s not the Tenn I know, and I don’t want to think this way. It’s the alcohol, it has to be, right?
“Holly, I don’t think Tenn would do that. He said this is what he wants,” I say.
She pulls her attention away from a guy walking past and shrugs. “I’m just saying sometimes guys will do and say anything to get what they want.”
I’m done, I just want to go home and sleep…in my own bed. I don’t want to think anymore, and I sure as fuck don’t want Holly knowing she’s getting into my head.
“Let’s finish up. I’m exhausted, and lucky for me I have dinner with my parents’ tomorrow,” I say, letting out a sigh.
“Oh come on, Regan, don’t let Tenn ruin the night. We were having fun. He’s probably just working late, don’t listen to me. I suck at relationships, obviously,” she pleads.
“It’s not that.”
“Bullshit, come on let’s do a few shots and dance. We’ll leave in an hour,” she pouts.
She’s right. What harm could a few more drinks do?