Riley (Shattered Souls MC 4)

m. I place it on the table and he grins. We both toss back the shots and I sit across from him.

“Get your fuck in?” he asks.

“Got one in. Probably grab another later,” I say, finishing off my smoke.

He laughs as he tips back the beer. “Never gets easier, brother.”

I know he’s talking about Gillian leaving. He says it all the time.

I lift my shoulders as I look around. “Don’t expect it too.”

“You going to Zane’s tomorrow?” he asks.

I turn my head and look at him with a smile. “Damn right. I want some of that banging BBQ. You going?”

“Yeah, everyone is. It will be our first BBQ without Alex, so it’s important we’re all there,” he says, sipping his beer. Alex was a member that gave up his life so Kace and Ivy could get theirs. He’s also the one who killed Gillian’s sister. He was one of my best friends and I feel his loss as much as I feel the loss of Gillian, every single day.

I shake my head and look around before focusing back on him. “When you say it never gets easier, you say that because you still miss Axel, isn’t it?” Axel was Zane’s father and our president. He was killed years ago, but Porter was his best friend and that loss never gets easier.

“You should know that, but yeah. I know he wasn’t your president for that long, but he was my friend long before my president. After all these years it still hurts.”

We have suffered great loss in this club. We’ve lost too many members over the years, old ladies, and family. We know how to live for them, but living with the loss is different. Losing Alex is still a fresh open wound. He was a good friend to us all.

“This club is all we have, brother. Not all of us are meant for that happily ever after bullshit. You and I have both loved women that ended up destroying us.”

He tips his beer at me and nods. “Yeah, it is. I’ll never get married again that’s for damn sure. Not even liking the idea of a girlfriend. I’m happy just fucking for fun.”

Now this is what I’m talking about. No wife talk, no baby talk, no relationship talk. It’s drinking, fucking, and having fun. Should get that shit tattooed on me.

After the club closes, I grab another Souls chick and take her to the back. Sleep won’t come, so I might as well do something proactive.

“She’s definitely one that doesn’t care if you're married or in a relationship,” I say, laughing.

Zane, Kace, and Finn laugh with me. However, Harper and Ivy are giving me some evil eye bullshit. Finn is still a prospect, but he acts like a patched in member already.

“Anyone goes near my husband and I will not only cut his dick off, but I’ll shove it down her throat until she literally chokes to death on it,” Harper, Zane’s wife, says, narrowing her eyes.

I hold my hands up and laugh again. “Hey, I’m not saying I condone her behavior. I mean I condone the way she let me fuck her last night, but that’s all I’m gonna say.”

I could’ve said it’s not cheating if we are in another state, but I’m not getting into that fight again with them. Last time I had nearly every chick coming at my throat for saying something similar. I’m not saying I’d do it, but I’m also not saying I wouldn’t.

“Hey, listen up,” Brooks says, standing from his table in Zane’s backyard. Brooks has been our president since his brother, Zane’s father, Axel was killed years ago. He recently started dating Maren, who keeps him smiling and that’s no easy feat. He’ll never get over the pain of his wife Gloria’s death, especially because he’s the one who killed her for her betrayal. It’s been rough to say the least. “I would like to take a minute before the day goes on and say that Alex’s absence is felt today. I’m glad everyone was able to make it today because he deserves that.” He raises his beer and we all do the same. “He’ll never be forgotten.”

I glance at Kace and Ivy, taking notice of the way they stare at their baby son. He carries the name of the man that is responsible for them being together. Alex went into the house that Ivy was being held hostage with the intention of dying. He knew that it was impossible for him and Kace to make it out alive. He gave up his life so Kace could continue his. It’s a weight I hope I never need to bear.

As the day goes on it’s every bit as fun as I knew it would be. I needed this. The death of Alex and loss of Gillian are too raw. It’s been nice to be completely distracted.

Nora, Enzo’s wife, sits next to me. Enzo is our vice president and Brooks’ best friend. I’m not sure they could function without each other. I lift my eyebrow as I stare at her. “You know, Nora, I’d take you to the bedroom in a heartbeat, but I don’t need the VP trying to fucking kill me,” I say, winking at her.

Everyone around us laughs along with her. “You wish,” she says.

“Hey let a guy dream, damn.”

“You’re an idiot, Riley,” she says, laughing. She turns serious and grabs my hand. “You seeing anyone?”

I shake my head staring at her. “You realize I’m not like these chicks that come in right? I know that all you ladies know all and see all. So why are you asking me that?”

She fights a smile as she looks around. “Just worried about you,” she whispers.