“I get that,” Ivy chimes in.
Kace looks at her, his eyebrows dipping, but she refuses to look at him. She keeps her focus on Finn.
“No one likes talking about their pasts. Fuck look at mine,” I say, sighing. “Everyone is in danger because of mine.”
“No.”
“Stop it.”
“Bullshit.”
Is what I’m hearing, but it’s true. I’m not going to sit here and pretend I didn’t bring this to their doorstep. I know Zane helped, but it doesn’t always feel that way. The longer I’m around them, the more guilty I feel that it’s my father, my flesh and blood, that is causing all this.
“Hey,” Zane whispers, grabbing my chin to make me look at him. “Stop going there. This isn’t your fault. It was going to happen the minute Club Kingsley opened.”
I search his eyes and I notice the hurt in them. It’s not because of my thoughts. It’s not because of Finn’s story. It’s because he misses his dad. He never talks about it, but maybe he needs to.
“I love you, baby,” I whisper, pressing a soft kiss to his firm lips.
“I love you more,” he says.
My heart explodes in my chest. He’s never said that before and it actually causes butterflies to erupt in my stomach.
“Shut the fuck up,” Kace yells.
I snap my head toward him, just as his fist lands across Riley’s face. Fuck.
“What the fuck?” Zane shouts. He jumps up to grab Kace, while Alex and Porter check on Riley.
“It’s fine. I forgot he doesn’t have a sense of humor,” Riley says.
Ivy looks terrified and I shake my head. One step forward and two back.
“Kace, go get some fucking sleep,” Zane hisses. “I’ve had enough of this shit today.”
Zane pulls me up and flips everyone off. I laugh as I blow them a kiss, rushing to keep up with him. When we get into the room, he slams the door.
“Relax, baby. Riley was trying to get to him, and it obviously worked. They’ll be fine in the morning,” I say, rubbing his shoulders from behind, pressing a kiss between his shoulder blades. He’s tense, I can feel it in his muscles. “What’s going on?”
“I’m no closer to answers. Brooks is hiding something; I can feel it. Finn telling that story, it just reminds me how this club used to be when my father was in charge. He wouldn’t be secretive; he wouldn’t drag his ass to get justice. He would be out there seeking his own vigilante justice,” he whispers.
“You miss him, huh?” I ask.
“Everyday.”
“Why don’t you ever talk about him?” I move to stand in front of him.
His eyes lift to mine and the pain I see in them haunts me. “Because I get pissed that Brooks is now in charge. Because I hate that my mother is alone. Because the
pain of losing him is too much for me sometimes.”
“Baby, I know what an incredible man he was. I know how much he loved this club, your mom, and you. I saw the pride in his eyes when he looked at you. I might not have known what it was at the time, but I do now. He was always good to me. You don’t need to pretend with me. I will grieve his loss with you,” I whisper, pushing up on my toes to kiss him.
He wraps his arms around me and buries his face into my neck. “I’ve learned to live my life without him, but I can’t live it without you. He adored my mom, but I’m certain the way I feel about you is more. When I think of losing him, I think of losing you. That’s why there’s so much pain. Until your father is dead, the possibility of losing you is still there. I can’t handle it. I grieved for him already. I need to live for you.”
I try to keep the tear from falling, but it rolls down my cheek. “You aren’t gonna lose me. I’m a fighter, baby. I survived everything he’s done to me and this will be no different. I don’t know what our future holds, but I know it will be together.”
He pulls back and searches my eyes. “I know what it holds,” he says, confidence rolling off him.