I smile and lean back in my chair. “Well, I guess that’s something you should have thought of for the last couple of months. I’ve given you plenty of chances to change, and you’ve only gotten worse. Don’t make this any harder.”
He throws the paycheck at me and stands up. “Not on your life. I’ll be on the floor if you need anything.” He goes to leave and mumbles under his breath what a bitch I am.
“You will leave on your own or I will have the police escort you. It’s your choice.”
He turns around, picks up the chair he was just sitting in, and throws it at the wall. “Fuck you.” I’m frozen in place. I can’t speak. I can’t move. I can’t breathe. All I see is Axel. The way he used to break things, throw things at me, and yell at me. I’ve taught myself to just freeze because if I did, I might not be hit. “You dumb bitch. You think you’re so much better than me, but you are nothing, a waste of space. You can tell Ben I think he’s a pussy for sending a cunt to do his dirty work.” He grabs his check off the desk and walks out, slamming the door. I sit completely frozen. The only sound is my heart pounding in my ears.
I don’t know how long I have been sitting here, but when Terry, one of the waitresses, knocks and comes in, she rushes over to me. “Oh my God, London, what’s wrong?” That’s when I realize I’m crying. Have I been crying the whole time? “Hey, look at me?” I slowly turn my head toward her. “What happened? You look absolutely terrified.” That’s usually what happens when you see a ghost from your past.
“I just got some bad family news. I actually need to take the rest of the day off. I’ll call Ben, but can you take over until he gets here?” I try to stand up, but my legs are shaking so badly I sit right back down.
“Do you need me to call someone?” Call someone? Who the hell would I call for help?
“No, I’m fine.” I stand up, and with shaking hands, grab my purse and cell phone. I don’t even wait for her to say anything else. I just walk right out. Once I get into my car, I break down. I can’t control the sobbing. I haven’t felt this kind of fear in years, and it has a complete hold on me right now. My phone rings and without thinking I answer because I assume it’s Shannon. Through my sobs, I manage to get out, “Hello?”
“London? What the hell is wrong?” I pull the phone away from my ear and look at it. I close my eyes and cry harder. It’s Blake. I don’t want him to hear me like this or question me.
“Oh I’m fine. Just PMSing.” Holy shit, PMSing. What the hell is wrong with me? I need to go home, climb into bed, and stay there.
“Where are you?”
I take a deep breath to try to control the ugly sobbing I’m doing. “I’m at work. Well actually, I’m on my way home. I’m just having a bad day and I’m going home.” I wipe under my eyes and just want to get off the phone. I don’t want to talk to him right now. I just want to be alone with my thoughts. “I’m about to drive, so I’ll call you later.” I’m a complete bitch because I just hang up, but I don’t want to deal with it. I start the car and throw it in drive. I just drive, and I don’t know how I got home. I have no memory of the ride, but I’m in my driveway. I go inside and the second I close the door, I curl into a ball on the couch and cry so hard, it’s deafening.
It’s been an hour since I walked in the door, and my sobbing is finally down to just tears. I’m pissed that after all these years, it came back to me as if it was yesterday. In the same breath, I’m terrified that I will never get over what he did to me. I can feel my eyes are swollen from all the crying, and my stomach hurts from sobbing so hard. I need to get myself a bottle of water, but I can still feel my legs are like jelly. “It wasn’t him. He hasn’t bothered with you since you left.” I don’t know why I think I need to say it out loud, but I do. I wipe my eyes with the heels of my hands and take a deep breath. I scream and nearly fall off the couch when my front door flies open.
“London, relax. It’s just me.” I look through my swollen eyes and see Blake standing in my living room. He’s in his work clothes, dirty jeans and shirt, and the second he comes closer, I feel the tears again. He sits down and pulls me onto his lap, wrapping his arms around me. “I wish you would just tell me what’s going on. I can’t help you if I don’t know.” The guilt eats at me and makes me feel like a horrible person.
“I had a bad day at work. I fired Todd and he flipped out, threw a chair, and kept screaming at me. It scared me.” That’s the truth, a part truth, but at least I’m not lying. He holds me tighter to him and kisses the top of my head over and over.
“I’m here. I’m not going anywhere. I told Brody I wasn’t coming back. No one is going to hurt you, not as long as I’m here.” For the first time since this whole thing happened, I feel myself start to relax. He’s here to protect me, to take care of me. No one has ever done that for me before, and the longer he holds me, the safer I feel.
***
“It’s been a long time since I’ve been with someone, Blake, and I can’t wait any longer.”
I wake up breathing heavily.
“I’m here. I told you I’m not going anywhere.” I glance over and see Blake sit
ting in a chair in my room. I must have fallen asleep on him and he put me to bed and then sat there making sure I was okay. This is not the guy I thought he was, not the player he makes himself out to be. He makes me feel safe, and no one has ever been able to do that for me before. I’m done fighting this.
“Blake?”
He stands up and walks over to me. He sits on the edge of my bed and stares down at me. “I’m right here.”
Yes, he definitely is. I lean up onto my elbows and stare into his eyes. He appears so worried and it melts my heart. I grab his shirt and pull him down to me. He comes willingly and I press my lips to his. I wrap my arms around his neck and deepen the kiss. I melt into him when he puts his hands on either side of my face. He is so gentle, so incredibly sweet, exactly what I need.
After a few minutes, he breaks the kiss and rests his forehead on mine. “Thank you, Blake. I didn’t realize how much I needed you.” He presses his lips to mine again before giving me the most sincere smile.
“I didn’t realize how much I needed you either, but let me tell you something, London. When I heard you crying, I’ve never felt that kind of emotion before. I felt enraged and heartbroken. I couldn’t get here fast enough to make sure you were all right. I’m not used to this…the need to want to protect someone…but with you, it’s like breathing. It comes without thought.” I blink back the tears that I feel, because I’ve never had someone say something so real to me before. “How about you go take a shower and I’ll order us some dinner?”
“That sounds perfect.” He kisses me again before standing up and helping me out of bed. “I didn’t even realize I fell asleep on you.”
He chuckles as I get a sundress out of the closet. “You passed out about five minutes after I got here. I would have just stayed on the couch with you, but you seemed to be having a nightmare or one hell of a good dream because you kept moaning. I thought if I put you in bed, you’d stop.”
I can feel my face blushing and I’m so glad my back is turned. “Oh, did I stop?” Why I keep questioning it, I don’t know, but I want to know.
“You did for a little bit, but it started again. Do you remember what you were dreaming about?”