“All right, enough. She’s been through enough. Let’s not keep talking about it.” Kallie smiles at me and gives me a wink. “So thanks to you two, Jax had to shock the hell out of the pool.” It was just the tension breaker we needed. Everyone laughs, including me, which I immediately regret.
“All right, no jokes. She’s hurting enough.” Blake, my tattooed knight in shining armor
, comes to my rescue yet again.
“Blake, it’s all right. I need it.” He blows out a breath, pulls up a chair next to me, and holds my hand.
“Did they say how long you’d have to stay?”
I turn my attention to Braden and shake my head. “No, but considering I used to take care of this myself at home, I hope tomorrow.” Blake squeezes my hand, and I don’t look at him because I don’t want to see his expression.
“I’m sorry, I know we’re supposed to move on, but how the fuck did you care for yourself when you were like this?”
I do glance at Blake this time, and he’s shooting Brinley daggers with his eyes. “It’s fine, Blake.” He stares at me and I give him the best smile I can. “Honest.” I turn back to Brinley and almost laugh when I see everyone waiting on me for an answer. “When you have no other choice, you’d be amazed what you can do.” I feel the tears coming, but I just keep talking. “You do anything you can to protect yourself, and sometimes that meant nursing myself back to health. I will tell you something, though. Another man will never lay his hands on me.” Blake stands up and wraps his arms around me. I can feel his tears on my shoulder and it breaks my heart. “I’m sorry.” He picks up his head, and I watch a tear run down his cheek.
“Don’t ever apologize for what you went through. You are the strongest person I have ever known to deal with what you did. You have literally walked through hell and came out on the other side. You may have gotten burnt a bit along the way, but damn, baby, look at you. You still manage to laugh, to live your dream, to love me.” I reach up and wipe his tears, and he kisses the palm of my hand. “I swear to you, you will never walk through hell again, not without me.”
“Listen, we’re going to let you guys get some rest.”
Blake is completely unashamed to stand up and show everyone he’s been crying. The love this man has for me is indescribable. He hugs Jax and they hold on to each other for a bit, both quietly talking. Everyone else comes over to me and says goodbye. Jax is the last one to leave and he smiles down at me. “Take care of my brother.” I nod and choke back the tears. He gives me a kiss goodbye and promises to be back in the morning.
Blake walks everyone out, and after a bit, he comes back to the room with a bottle of soda for each of us. “I asked the nurse, and she said you can have this.” I take it from him, open it, and take a small sip. It feels good on my throat.
“Thank you.” He moves his chair to the other side of me and reaches for my hand again. “He wasn’t like this when we first met, you know. He was sweet, funny, and romantic. He used to take me out all the time. We had a ton of friends. We used to get drunk at the bar and go back to the dorms, trying to finish writing assignments drunk.” He gives me a half-smile and I squeeze his hand. “It was after he asked me to marry him. We had already been living together, but it all changed when he put that ring on my finger. He never let me write, unless it was editing his work. He told me I had rules to follow, and as long as I followed them, we would be happy.” I choke back a sob and he kisses my lips.
“Don’t, baby. You don’t need to talk about it.”
I look into his eyes and shake my head. “Yes, I do. Please let me get it out. I’ve never said any of it out loud.” I can see the pain clear on his face, but he nods his head. “Rules were no more friends—we only needed each other. Only approved writing was allowed. No more makeup unless it was red lipstick for sex. I was only to wear dresses, no more pants. I had to have my hair done at all times. Dinner was to be ready when he got home. The list went on and on. I tried to follow his rules, and for a while, I did, but I was so lonely. I started writing on paper, and he always found it and I always paid for it. I just couldn’t give it up. These characters were talking, and I wanted to write it. It just started happening all the time. I didn’t wear a dress he liked, my hair was a mess, or dinner wasn’t ready. It was just too much. He found a book I had been writing for a while and beat me, just like this. He made me burn my book.” I can’t stop the tears, but I don’t want to, because I need to finally feel it all. “I laid on the living room floor and didn’t move until he went to work. Even though I was in excruciating pain, I grabbed what I could, threw it in my car, and drove. I didn’t stop until I made it to California. I was afraid if I stopped, someone would ask what happened to me, or he would catch up to me.” He wipes my tears and I see his fall onto the bed.
“Baby, I can’t believe you went through all of that. It kills me. It tears me apart to hear about it. Everything makes sense now. You were scared to get close to me because you thought I’d hurt you too. You thought I’d be like him.” We’re both sobbing at this point.
“That wasn’t it at all, Blake. I didn’t think you’d hit me, but I didn’t trust anyone. Everyone is great, until you get to really know them. That’s what I was scared of, to fall in love with you and you not be who I thought you were. That’s why I had no friends of my own. I just didn’t trust anyone, but it’s because of you that I do now or I’m starting to. I trust you with my whole heart.”
He kisses my hand and takes a breath. “London, wait?do you want me to call you that?” I nod my head and he continues. “All right, London, I told you all along that I wouldn’t hurt you, but that’s when I thought you had just had your heart broken. Now I think I need to make you a different promise.” He stands up and leans over me, putting his hands on either side of my head. He looks into my eyes, or what he can of the one, and I catch one last tear. “London, I promise you that I will always support your dreams. I will always encourage you, tell you how beautiful you are, and cook for you when you want.” I giggle and he winks before continuing. “I will treat you with all the respect in the world. I will keep your life filled with friends, laughter, and fun. I promise you when I put a ring on your finger, I will be the same man that I was yesterday, today, and tomorrow. I’m no one special, London, but you make me feel like I am, and I promise to always make you feel the same.” I’m crying again, but this time it’s not because of my past or what happened, it’s the love that I have with Blake. A love that will only be stronger with each day we share.
“I love you so much, Blake. I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for you.”
He brushes my hair off my face and smiles at me. “I love you too, London. I’ll protect you until my last breath.”
***
It’s been a week since the attack, and Blake has not left my side. I wasn’t ready to go to my house yet, so I’ve been staying with him. The first few days home from the hospital, he wouldn’t let me out of bed. He brought me my meals and stayed in the bathroom with me while I showered. I finally convinced him that I was good enough to go sit outside, so that’s where we’ve been for the last few hours. We haven’t done much talking about the attack or what I confessed to him, but I think that’s because we said it all. We both shed enough tears and said everything we felt we needed to say. I did tell him that even though my legal name is Laken and I want to remember who I was prior to Axel, I don’t want to be called that. I’m London now, and that’s just the way it’s going to stay.
Blake is on the phone talking with Jax, I assume. He has given us full run of the house and stayed with Kallie, which I said wasn’t necessary, but he insisted I need the time to heal. Everyone came to see me when I got home, but they haven’t been back. I believe my man has given them instructions to stay away. My first night home was hard. I did cry a lot, but not because of the pain. That was something I was used to. I cried because my computer was destroyed, my paperback books were torn apart, and all my swag was gone. Blake, of course, told me as soon as I was healed, we would go get a better computer for me. I was so grateful that I had left my flash drives at Shannon’s because I knew those books were safe. I told Shannon when she left the other day to mail them to Blake’s because until I knew exactly what was going to happen with Axel, I was still on edge.
“Hey, London?” I look over at Blake, who’s standing by the pool. “Jax and Kallie want to come over for dinner. Are you up for that?”
“Hell yes.” He chuckles and puts the phone back to his ear. I watch him pace back and forth in front of the pool and I smile. After a few minutes, he comes back over to me and sits down.
“You sure you want company tonight?”
God, I love this man. “Yes, I’m positive. What time are they coming?”
He looks at his phone and laughs. “An hour. Do you want to shower before they get here?” I nod and go to push myself up, but he rushes over to help me. “I’m right here. Stop trying to do shit for yourself.” I giggle but quickly stop when I feel the pain in my ribs. “I can’t wait until you feel no more pain.” I kiss his bicep and he winks at me. “I have big plans.” I laugh and need to stop walking for a second. “Shit, sorry.”
“Stop apologizing. I want to laugh, but it just hurts.” We go into the bathroom, and he helps me undress and get into the shower. He brought everything I’d need from my house so I have my shampoo and soap. Even though washing my hair sucks, I do it as quickly as I can, wash my body, and rinse off. I don’t even need to check. I know Blake is sitting on the toilet waiting for me. “Blake?” He pushes the curtain open and searching to see if I’m hurt. “Sorry, I’m fine. Umm, okay, this is weird, but can you shave my legs for me? Bending like that is extremely painful.” He closes the curtain, and a minute later, he gets in the shower, naked. “What are you doing?” I try so hard not to laugh, but it comes out.
“Well, I thought getting in here with my clothes on would be weird.” I smile and shake my head. “All right, let’s do this fast because I promised I wasn’t going to do anything sexual until you’re healed, but seeing the water run over your bod