Behind the Lens (Sexy 1)

“Yep, yes, your cock.” I go over to fix the sheet, and it feels intimate, too intimate. I can feel my hands shaking as I’m trying to get the sheet to cover him just enough. He grabs my hands, pulling my attention to his face.

“Kallie, relax. It’s just me.” I nod my head and he grins. “I’d be lying if I said this wasn’t a little awkward, but I know how professional you are. Focus on that because I sure as fuck am trying to.” He’s right, I can’t see this for anything more than it is, and that is a photo shoot. I need to get my head back on straight and out of this inappropriate thinking.

“I’m so sorry, Jax. You’re right.” I adjust the sheet and climb up onto the bed to get a few shots. “Great, now turn onto your side and look at me over your shoulder.” He does, and I’m met with his perfect ass. I close my eyes tightly for a minute and talk myself down. I take a few shots completely infatuated in what I’m seeing. “Perfect, now lay on your stomach with your arms in front of you, like you are reaching for me.” He does it, and holy shit, it’s sexy as sin. I get several of just his face and arms before including the rest of his perfectly muscular body. I grab the towel and hand it to him. “Amazing, Jax. You can take a few minutes while I go fill the tub and add bubbles.” He doesn’t say anything and just takes the towel from me. I start filling the tub and add a ton of bubbles. I am starting to sweat, so I pull my hair into a ponytail and pull off my T-shirt, leaving me in my tight white tank. I swallow a few times before sticking my head out to him. “Whenever you are ready, Jax.” He comes in with the towel wrapped dangerously low on his hips.

“Tub or shower first?” He’s so relaxed, and I fucking wish I were right there with him. Normally, I am, but with him, it’s completely different.

“I usually do tub first so you can rinse off in the shower.” He drops his towel and climbs into the tub. I laugh, and he looks over his shoulder at me while getting in. “I was going to tell you to check the temperature before you did that.” He chuckles and sits down facing me.

“It’s cold, but that’s what I need.” Please let that be because he’s hot like I am. Although I have a feeling, it’s not. I don’t even acknowledge what he says. I just grab my camera. The tub shots are very seductive. The way he is looking at me with soap running down his chest will make any woman want to climb right in there. I kneel on the edge of the tub while he kneels in the water, and I get some extremely sexy shots before his cock is uncovered. With my wet panties and hardened nipples, I get off the tub.

“Let’s finish off in the shower. After I take the shots, I’ll leave and let you really shower and get dressed.” He climbs out of the tub, and I hold out my hand to help him. He grabs it and winks at me.

“Why leave? You’ve seen everything anyway.” I drop his hand and dry mine on a towel. I’ve done well, and I’m not going to fuck up at this point. I’ll stay professional, well, as professional as I can be, considering I want to climb into the shower with him.

“Jax, get your ass in the shower.” He laughs and climbs in. “You can set it to the temperature you like.” He turns it on and the water starts pounding on him. I just start shooting without saying another word. He leans his hands on the wall in front of him with his head down, allowing the water to run down his back and face. He turns and tilts his head back, and I honestly feel like I’m watching him shower. After several shots, there is one final one, and we are done. “Last shot, I want you to cover your cock with your hands, lean your head back, but turn to look at me. This way, I can get a full body shot.” He does exactly what I said, and even though I am getting splashed by the water, I don’t care because these shots are so fucking erotic. I take a few different poses with him covering himself before I call it done. “Alright, that’s it. I’m extremely happy with all the shots. I’ll let you shower.” I put my camera down and grab a towel to dry myself off a bit when Jax reaches out and pulls me almost into the shower. We both just stare into each other’s eyes, and I don’t notice his breathing, but mine is heavy with arousal. He runs his wet hand down my face, cupping my cheek, and keeps our eyes locked.

“It’s getting harder for me, Kallie. I’m trying so fucking hard.” As soon as I realize what he means, I pull away from him. I can’t, I won’t, do this.

“See you out there when you are done.” I grab my camera and rush out of the studio. I go into my bedroom and get dry clothes to change into. I look into the mirror and see that my bra is completely visible through my wet shirt and my face is flushed with need. I’m so fucking angry with myself. I pull off all my clothes and throw them across the room. I put on dry clothes, including a new bra and panties, and sit down on my bed

. I drop my head into my hands and feel tears stinging my eyes. Why the fuck does he have to be a model? I’m so attracted to him. I can’t remember the last time, if ever, I’ve felt this way. But nothing can happen, ever. It hurts my heart, but I know it’s the right thing. I sit in silence for a while and beat myself up for these thoughts and feelings.

“Kallie?” Shit. I get up and go out into the living room where Jax is calling my name.

“Great shoot today, Jax. Thank you so much. I’ll have everything edited in a few days and send them to you.” I start walking toward the door, hoping he will just take the hint and leave.

“Kallie, maybe we need to talk.” I spin around and pin him with a glare.

“No, we don’t. The shoot is over, and I have shit to do. I’ll be in touch.” He moves closer to me and glares right back at me.

“You’ll be in touch? What the fuck is that supposed to mean? You can’t handle feeling something toward me, so I’m dismissed? That’s fucked up, and you know it. We are both fighting this, in case you didn’t know.” I close my eyes and try to get my emotions under control. I open them and look at him with sympathy.

“Jax, you know I can’t act on anything, so let’s not make it any harder. Maybe we need to take a step away for a while.” He backs me up until my back hits the door.

“Not a shot in hell. I’ll take you any way I can, and if it’s as friends, fine. I’m not about to lose you completely.” I feel the tears again, but I blink them away before he can notice.

“Friends is one thing, this . . .” I point a finger between us. “This is something completely inappropriate. I won’t do it, Jax.” He leans down to my ear, and I am overcome by his closeness and scent.

“You make it sound dirty, sexy, I like that. I told you, I’ll be just friends, but I’m not going to give up on this, but I won’t push you either.” He kisses below my ear and steps back, leaving me weak in the knees, breathless, and completely confused. He reaches for the door handle, and I move out of his way. “I’ll call you later.” He closes the door, and I slide onto the floor and cry for the first time in years.

I spent a majority of my time after Jax left sitting on the couch staring at the TV but not watching it. My mind is so fucked up right now. I keep thinking about the way it felt when he was whispering in my ear, and I shouldn’t be. I called Brinley to talk, but she was in the middle of a shoot. So I’ve resorted to sitting here with my mind running on crazy. Thankfully, my phone rings and I grab it, hoping for a distraction. “Hello?”

“Hey, Kallie.” I sit up straight and smile at Braden’s voice. My brother is just the person to get my mind occupied.

“Hey, what’s up?” I hear Tiffany and Dawn in the background for a second before hearing a door close and it’s silent.

“I was just calling to see how you were. I haven’t heard from you, and with your birthday coming up, I wanted to see what your plans were.” I love my brother; he never once forgot my birthday.

“Well, we still have three weeks.” I laugh and adjust my position on the couch. “I really don’t have any plans yet. Brinley mentioned going out, but I haven’t agreed yet. Do you have something in mind?” I’m sure he doesn’t, but it doesn’t hurt to ask.

“You know me. I leave that up to Sarah. I definitely want to get together at some point though, because Sarah, the kids, and I are going to be leaving to visit her family for a while. She’s overwhelmed with the girls, and I can only be so much help with working all the time.” I hate the idea of them being on the east coast, but that is where her family is.

“How long are you going for?” He’s quiet for a minute before he clears his throat.

“A month, maybe more.” I sit up quickly onto the edge of the couch, and my eyes widen.

“A month? Why the hell do you need to stay that long?” I don’t like the idea of not seeing my brother for that length of time. The girls too, they will be so big by the time they get back, and I’ll miss it all.