ZANDER
I’ve lost track of time in the shower in Ella’s house. The steam has surrounded me for what feels like forever. My thoughts keep distracting me.
There’s a lot to process from the evening. A hell of a lot. I have some uncertainty about whether I’ll be able to keep it a secret from Cade.
But no. Of course I will. That was the price, and it’s worth every penny. I don’t think he suspects anything just yet but when the reports come out that he’s missing, I know he’ll ask me. After all, I admitted I wanted that prick dead. Fuck. I brace my palms against the tiled wall and let the water come down on me.
He’s my brother, they’re my team. If they ask or push for information, I’ll ask them to look the other way. God knows I’ve done the same for each of them before. They owe me. They damn well know they do.
The bathroom door opens and Ella steps inside, bringing me from the menacing thoughts back to the present.
“Jailbird,” I murmur so low I don’t know if she even heard me. I can see her through the glass, though it’s pretty well fogged up. I want this night washed off my skin.
“Can I come in with you?” she asks as the water beats down around me.
“Of course you can.” I open the door for her and tell her, “Always.”
She strips off her dress, letting the expensive silk pool around her feet and then her lace bra and panties come next. Her necklace stays on as she steps into the shower. That eases something in me. Something that feared this moment. The quiet car ride with Silas driving was difficult enough. Then I had to leave her to debrief. Now that the two of us are alone, it feels right again.
Her dark hair is wet almost immediately as she leans her head back, letting the spray hit her face. Her body trembles slightly and I hold her, pulling her back into my chest. With an arm around her waist, she clings to me. Her eyes are still closed. Ella seemed a lot more put together at the party, but now everything seems to be hitting her. That’s to be expected.
“You did so well,” I compliment her and kiss her temple. It’s only a small sad smile that she gives me in return, her eyes still closed.
“Could you hold me for a while?” she asks.
“Yes.” I pull her in tighter and love that she holds me back. “You held yourself together perfectly,” I tell her.
“Did I?” she says with a little laugh. “I don’t feel held together.”
“Tell me how you’re feeling,” I say.
“I want to forget tonight.”
“Is there anything I should be worried about?” I ask her.
She shakes her head against my chest. The water feels warm and cleansing. This transition is going to be difficult as hell, but the shower seems to be making it easier. “After this, we’re leaving everything that happened tonight behind us.”
“I hope so,” she murmurs and that’s not the answer I want to hear.
“Talk to me,” I say and rock her slightly, giving her time to adjust and decompress.
“I’m scared,” Ella admits and it’s only then that her dark eyes open and stare ahead.
I almost tell her that we’re going to be fine. That Kam has a strategy, and I’m going to follow it. That this is the life I’m choosing. I’m choosing her.
I have to think every sentence over before I can speak.
“We’re going to be okay,” I tell her, and I mean it. Fully. I’ll sacrifice anything for her, which means we’ll both be good.
“We are?” Ella looks up at me through her lashes.
“Yes, little bird. We are free of all of this shit after tomorrow.”
Her gaze turns hopeful and then I tell her, “For the rest of our lives, we will be together and I will take care of you in every way possible.”
She pulls me down to kiss her right there in the hot water. I feel all the tension go out of my muscles and then the rest of my body. I just want to feel surrounded by her. I’m taller than Ella but the heat of the shower helps. She kisses me slow from over her shoulder and then deeper until finally she moans into my mouth.
I want this with her always.
“I still need to spank your ass,” I murmur against her lips as my hand slips to her front, down between her legs so I can rub her clit. “But I want you now and I’m going to fuck you so hard tonight you forget everything else other than what I do to you right now in this shower.”
Her moan of approval is all I need to massage her breast, tugging her nipple and kissing her savagely. Every passing second getting hotter and heavier. I take her roughly, and her legs nearly give out as she comes.
I pick her up into my arms, spread her legs around my hips, and thrust inside her. Ella gasps. She grinds down onto my cock, her head pressed against the wall of the shower, her back braced in my arms, but then she slows the pace.
“I just want to look at you.” She wraps her arms around my shoulders and holds on tight. The water splashes against my back as I kiss her once and then again.
“I don’t know how long I can let you do that.” I honestly don’t. She feels so good wrapped around my cock. Leaning forward to kiss her again, I almost call her jailbird. But after tonight, I don’t think I could ever call her that again. She’s only my little bird now. Now and forevermore.