“Starved,” is his simple reply. There is nothing simple about the tall, dark, and handsome man in front of me, however.
He’s in ripped jeans and a white V-neck, which has the blue in his eyes popping. His hair is still wet, with the longer strands flicked to the side. His feet are bare. On anyone else, this outfit sounds like nothing special, but on Cayden, he looks like he’s ready to walk on any runway in Milan.
My gawking gets interrupted when he walks over to the fridge, noticing Lacey’s note. The bottles in the door rattle as he hunts for a beer. “Drink?”
I helped myself to the pitcher of homemade lemonade earlier, and my glass is still full. “I’m good, thanks.”
He closes the door with a Budweiser in hand and surveys the massacre I’ve made of his kitchen with an amused smile. “Whatcha cooking? It smells awesome.” I’m elated he thinks so too.
I give the food a final stir before reaching for the bowl I found when I ransacked his kitchen. “It’s a recipe I found in one of Lacey’s cookbooks. I hope you don’t mind, but it’s a little spicy.”
Slipping on the oven mitt, I’m about to remove our meal from the heat. But when Cayden sneaks up behind me and peers over my shoulder, I need a minute. “I like spicy,” he says, his breath like a lover’s touch as it slides down my neck.
My dinner is about to turn into a burned mess, so I forget about how good he smells and turn off the stove. “Will you grab some bowls?” I don’t think formal dining is really Cayden’s scene, so I figure we could have a casual meal at the breakfast counter.
The moment he backs away, the air returns to my lungs.
I go about serving our dinner by placing everything on the counter. Cayden returns with two bowls and some silverware. “It’s a nice night. Do you want to sit outside?”
Looking up at him through my lashes, I nod. “I would love that.”
We work in silence, piling our dishes full. Either we are both clearly hungry, or it’s our safety net in case things get awkward. So we can stuff ourselves full of enchilada instead of conversation. I follow Cayden and Empire as they walk out of the kitchen and up the stairs.
I look over my shoulder, wondering why we wouldn’t sit out on the porch, but don’t say anything.
When we enter his bedroom, memories of clinging to one another assault me, and a longing hits hard. I wonder if he remembers the way he reached for me, needing me as much as I needed him?
The bed is made with military precision, and everything is neat and put away. Now that I can see straight, I take in Cayden’s room and appreciate a charcoal sketch above his bed. I didn’t notice it before. I stop in my tracks, transfixed by it. It’s beautiful.
However, when Cayden opens the balcony doors and a gust of warm air floats into the room, I continue walking, desperate to feel the breeze on my skin. “Wow.” I now see why Cayden brought me up here. The view is breathtaking.
There is a small wooden table and chair set, which provides the perfect spot for one to eat their dinner and ponder on the beauty surrounding them. Cayden pulls out my seat, smiling and waiting for me to stop staring.
“Oh, sorry.” I quickly rush over, but Cayden doesn’t look bothered.
“It’s okay. Take your time. We’ve got all night.” His promise has goose bumps shadowing my skin. I slip into the seat and smile up at him, thankful for his chivalry. As I scoot my chair forward, he takes the seat beside me.
This isn’t the first meal we’ve shared together, but the vibe certainly is new. I don’t want to jinx it, but this kind of feels like a first date. And the awkward dialogue that follows confirms that fact. “Do you want to say grace?”
Cayden pauses mid-sip of his beer, his cheeks puffed out with the large mouthful he just took. I screw up my face, unsure what the fuck just possessed me to say something so absurd. His Adam’s apple bobs as he swallows down his beer.
“Um, do you?” There is no judgment behind his question. Only curiosity.
Sighing, I look out at the remarkable scenery and decide that yes, I do because I’ve never been more thankful than I am right now. “I think I do.” Extending out my palm, Cayden looks down at the offering and takes it without a second thought.
Another thing to be grateful for.
I’ve never done this before, but I don’t think there is a right or wrong way. Expressing what you’re thankful for should be something we do every day. It doesn’t have to be religious or recited from rote memory. It should come naturally. Just as holding Cayden’s hand and being with him are.
“I’m thankful for this delicious meal I managed to prepare without burning down the house. I’m thankful my roof hasn’t caved in yet.” Cayden snorts softly. “I can’t wait for the adventures headed my way, like renovating and working at my new job. I’m thankful for Empire.” He barks once, happy to have made the cut when I run my fingers through his mane.
As I list everything, I realize there is one common denominator.
Cayden.
He watches me patiently, and although my palm begins to sweat, I squash down my nerves and end on the one thing I am most thankful for. “But most of all, I’m grateful for you, Cayden. I’m grateful you exist.”
He blinks once, as I’ve clearly caught him off guard, but I don’t care. I want him to know because that’s how I feel.
Neither of us speaks. The cicadas and the echoing wind fill the silence, only seeming to perfect an already perfect evening. Cayden brushes his thumb along my knuckles before gently squeezing my hand. “Amen.”
I don’t know why, but his response seems fitting to this entire situation.
We never break eye contact, our gazes dancing under the full moon. “Let’s eat,” he finally says, which sounds like a wonderful idea. Reluctantly, I release his hand, and we dig in.
I can’t help it, but I watch in fascination as he takes his first bite. “This is amazing.”
“Yeah?” I ask, swallowing down the spicy rice.
“Yeah,” he confirms, scooping up a huge helping. It’s satisfying to see the meal you made with your own two hands being devoured by the person you made it for.
We chew in silence, the conversation not strained, but rather, it feels like we’re enjoying each other’s company and appreciating the stillness around us. As I peer to the right, I notice my house and how the balcony extending from my room is visible from this angle.