Someone Else's Shadow

“Sure.” I nod, not really knowing why he’s suddenly making me nervous. He winks before turning and leaving me with a mouthful of questions.

When Will is out the door, Julia, who witnessed the weird scene, saunters over to where I stand, confused. “He’s been in here a lot.”

Pocketing the change, I shrug, hoping to come across as aloof. “I hadn’t noticed.”

But she doesn’t buy it. “Oh, come on. Someone who looks like that. It’s hard not to notice.” I blanch because, yes, Will isn’t unattractive by any means, but he’d probably be more suited for someone my mother’s age. I can’t help but chuckle at the visual.

My mother wouldn’t be caught dead liaising with the likes of Will. They couldn’t be more opposites. With his scruffy graying hair, Harley Davidson T-shirts, and faded tattoos, he’d give her a heart attack just by saying hello to her.

“He’s sweet on you,” Julia says, which has me almost pulling a muscle in my neck as I snap my head to look at her, paling. “Don’t look so surprised. With all that fiery red hair and looks to die for, a lot of men are sweet on you.”

This is news to me.

“Thank you, but I’m not interested. I’m here to do my job and then go home. I’m not looking for love or romance.” That was supposed to be a hint for Julia to back off and leave it be, but I’ve come to learn she rarely takes a hint.

“Tell that to the hottie who just walked through the door.”

Humoring her, I raise my eyes to see a sight I wasn’t sure I’d ever see again. My memory has not done him justice because I don’t remember him looking this good. But regardless of his good looks, I want to slap his cheek.

Cayden stands in the middle of the diner, openly looking at me. So many emotions smash into me, and I clutch onto the edge of the counter, afraid I’m moments away from losing my last shred of sanity.

I want to say so many things, but I’m afraid of what I will say. Seeing him evokes a raging anger because he lied to me, and then he just disappeared. I want answers. He owes them to me.

A betrayal tear breaks past the floodgates and trickles down my cheek. Cayden closes his eyes for the briefest of moments, wrestling with his demons as his hands curl into fists by his sides. I want nothing more than to speak to him, but I gave up that right when I broke his heart—not once, not twice, but for ten long years.

Although I told Cayden to stay away, it appears even amnesia wasn’t strong enough to keep me away from him. I may have forgotten him, but it’s clear my heart hasn’t. Secrets and sorrows fill our past, and a small part of me believes I don’t want to remember what we did.

But Cayden doesn’t have the luxury. Whatever we did, whatever I did, he remembers, and every time he looks at me, he’s reminded of those sins. He’s reminded that despite the fact that he loved me, sometimes, love just isn’t enough.

We commit one another to memory, unsure when we will see the other again because one thing is clear—it hurts. Unburdening himself hasn’t set him free—it’s only made things worse. Maybe it would have been better if he’d never told me.

“Julia, can you cover for me? I’m suddenly not feeling well.” I barely recognize my own voice. Cayden and I are still caught in a stalemate, but I’m the one to end things once and for all.

“Of course. Take the rest of the day off.” I don’t bother arguing and quickly untie my apron. Reaching for my bag under the counter, I risk one last glance at Cayden because I don’t know when I’ll see him again. But he’s already gone.

He’s taken a piece of my heart with him as he escaped out the front door, so I decide to exit from the back. It’s a beautiful summer’s day, and on any other morning, I’d appreciate the sunshine but not today. I decide to walk home as I could use some fresh air.

I need to talk to Cayden, but today proved that neither of us is ready to take that first step. Some may call me weak for not facing my demons, but the truth is, I don’t know if I’m ready. I don’t know if I’ll ever be ready to hear the atrocities of my past. The small insights are enough.

Head down and lost in my own little world, I’m not looking where I’m going, that is, until I bump straight into someone. “I am so…” But my sentence remains unfinished because when I see who stands before me, I doubt I’ll ever be able to speak again.

“You,” gasps Hazel, blinking twice as if to ascertain that I’m really here. “You have some nerve showing your face here. How dare you come back.”

There was a time when I was utterly desperate to uncover the secrets of my past, but now that I’ve been given a glimpse, I want nothing more than to forget. “I’m so-sorry.” I stumble over my words, wiping my sweaty palms on my dress. The movement seems to alert Hazel of my attire, which she clearly overlooked.

She scans me from head to toe before her scowl is replaced with a smugness that has me wishing I’d just stayed at work. “Oh my God, I never thought I’d see the day Little Miss Perfect worked a job that was beneath her.”

“Waiting tables isn’t beneath me,” I counter, not appreciating her tone.

Hazel folds her arms over her slender frame and arches a brow. She knows something is amiss. Sick of hiding behind my fears, I pull back my shoulders, refusing to allow the past to affect my future. “I know your name is Hazel.” Wrath soon replaces her arrogance. She appears livid that I had the gall to speak her name. “I only know this because…Cayden told me.”

“Don’t you dare speak his name to me,” she spits, her temper spiking. But I persevere.

“I don’t remember you. I’m sorry. Six months ago, I was involved in a car accident. When I woke, I didn’t remember anything, anyone.” Hazel looks at me like I’m speaking Russian. So I clarify, “I have amnesia.”

My admission throws Hazel for a loop. That much is clear. But that’s all that’s clear because I have no clue what she’s thinking. She appears stunned, but there is an air of disbelief to her, which she confirms a second later. “Always have to be the center of attention, don’t you? I’ve heard some bullshit stories in my life, but this one tops the cake.” A sarcastic snicker follows.

“This isn’t a story,” I state, bitterness lacing my words. “It’s the truth. What reason would there be for me to make this up?”

Hazel hisses a breath through her clenched teeth. “There are many reasons,” she cries. “First and foremost is the fact that you ruined my life. Not only did you string Cayden along, you…” But she quickly seals her lips, appearing almost pained to continue.

“I what?” Whatever she has to say, I want to know.

She cocks her head to the side, really looking at me for the first time. “You’re telling the truth, aren’t you?”

I nod once. “Yes, I am.”

“I’ll be damned,” she whispers, eyes wide. “This is my dream come true. That you’d forget this place ever existed. But here you are. Amnesia or not, you can’t seem to leave him alone.” No guessing who she’s referring to.

“I’m sorry, Hazel, for whatever I did.” I suppose I could ask her what exactly that is, but I don’t know if I’d believe her or not. But thinking of Ellie, I realize she can’t be that bad. Ellie is a great kid, and I want to believe that she had a part to play. “I was the one who pushed Ellie to safety. I didn’t know she was your daughter…”

I have no idea why I decided to tell her that. I figured maybe she’d see I’ve changed and am not the person I once was. But my words have the opposite effect. I may as well have told her to go fuck herself.

She storms over, and time stands still as she slaps my cheek—hard. If not for the throbbing in my face, I’d have believed I spaced out. But I don’t have that luxury. “You stay away from her!” she screams, and I cower, afraid she’s about to smack the other cheek. “What did you do to her?”