“Not like that,” I said, my heart hurting over what had happened between us earlier in the day.
I knew it was over with him. I’d seen the look on his face. Levin Seeley had shut down on me. He’d checked out just like I had. I’d been a bitch to him. He was right. I was jealous, but I was also prideful and refused to admit it. He’d let me live. But he'd also said some nasty things to me at the dance and had shot at me and Fallon.
Of course, I supposed I could see why, given what Fallon had been planning to do. I groaned inwardly. This was a disaster. I didn’t know where to direct my frustration anymore.
“I’d kill them for you if you asked me to,” Fallon mumbled. “But then we’d still have Hail to deal with. The kings love you. I saw it written all over them.”
I knew they loved me. At least, Vincent and Dominic did. I couldn’t bear the thought of losing them though whenever I thought about it. It didn't make me less pissed. And with Levin shutting down, I was hurting. Everything was so messed up and confusing. I just wanted to sleep. Sleep it all away and wake up when things were better.
But I knew the life I was in. Nothing would ever be better. Maybe this was as good as it got, and I’d have to learn to adjust to my new life. Maybe I needed to let go and let the chips fall where they may.
“I want to make you feel good,” Fallon slurred. “Does Dominic make you feel good?”
I swallowed. “Yes.”
When I let him.
“Fuck, I want to. I’m really fucked up right now though, baby.”
“It’s OK,” I said, tilting his chin up so he was looking at me. “I don’t want Dominic to catch you here, so I think you should go.”
“But I miss you.”
“I know, but you have a lot to do before we can even think about anything happening between us.”
“You’re really upset with me. I’m sorry. What can I do to prove to you?”
“You can start by going home and resting. Then tomorrow, just do whatever Dominic tells you to do.”
He nodded, peering up at me. “I can do that.”
I let out a breath of relief as he climbed to his feet. He swayed as he stared down at me.
“Can I kiss you before I go?”
I licked my lips, wanting to kiss him, but not like this. Not when he was so messed up. Not when I was still so angry with him. In fact, I wasn't so sure I should let him leave without an escort. Stella seemed to have wandered off, which pissed me off. I’d let that bitch hear about it tomorrow when I saw her. The alternative was her being here and going home with him. I knew how she was and how it would probably play out with a stoned Fallon. The thought disgusted me.
“We shouldn’t,” I said gently, cradling his face.
“Right. You’re married.” He crinkled his brows. “I hate that. You should be married to me. I would've taken you away and we could've gotten married. That was my end game. Guess De Santis is a better player, huh?”
I gave him a weak smile.
“Would you have said yes if I'd asked?”
“I-I think I would've,” I answered honestly. “But in time. I’d have wanted time.”
He beamed at me, the worry melting from his handsome face. “That would've made me happy, and I’d have waited for you. ”
My heart jumped in my chest at his words. It would've made me happy too. But then I wouldn’t have my overbearing, possessive, jealous husband. I scoffed, hating that I knew I’d miss the asshole but secretly loving that Dominic wanted me.
I glanced at the clock. “You need to go. Dominic can't come home and find you here.”
“I’ll go but promise you won’t forget about me?”
“I swear it,” I said, still cradling his face. “Just please go rest, and don’t do this again. I can’t risk losing you. It hurt too much last time. Plus, you still need to make everything up to me.”
He nodded tiredly. “I’ll make it up. Promise.” He gave my hands a squeeze before he stumbled to the door.
I moved around him and pulled it open so he didn't tumble into the hall. I peeked quickly into the corridor, letting the door open wider then allowing him to step out.
“I love you, princess.”
“I love you too, Fallon,” I said softly.
He gave me a smile that lit up my heart, even if it was colored by his drunken and stoned stupor.
He didn’t say another word as he turned and staggered down the hall. I watched him go, my heart in my throat.
I hoped Dominic ended this soon. I wanted my life back, and that life included all my guys, even the drunk, stoned one and the angry, stubborn one.
Of course, a lot of that rested on me, and I just didn’t see Levin coming back to me. Not after the shit I'd said to him.
And for that, I ached.