BIANCA
Istayed in our room all day on Saturday. I’d gotten my birth control pills from Aubrey and started them right away. I hoped they’d be safe in my purse, and I hoped they kicked in quickly so I was protected. A few days of pills had to be better than no days, right?
I still didn’t like Stella, but I couldn’t deny she’d been rather helpful, even if it was for her own gain.
My heart hurt. Even sweet Vincent couldn’t get me out of my funk despite him trying everything from gentle kisses to soft words of affection. Dominic barely looked at me. He’d left sometime around one in the afternoon, and Vincent had followed soon after he’d received a text from him.
I had promised to stay in the bedroom with the door locked. Now, I stared out the window to the grounds below, watching as students passed by. My stomach twisted into knots when I saw Levin and Celeste approach. She smiled as she pulled him to a stop and pressed her lips against his. He kissed her back, his arms around her.
They looked good together. I hated it, but I hated myself more for being unrelenting. He made me so mad, and I’d been so pissed off the day I’d said those hateful words to him. My fury wouldn’t go away either, and his being with Celeste now only made things worse. Seeing them kissing and touching on campus. Of knowing that sometimes he didn’t come back to his dorm at night because he was with her doing things that made me want to scream at the top of lungs in rage.
I’d let him go and could only blame myself.
I swallowed as her hand shifted to his groin and rubbed. He didn’t pull away from her. Instead, he clasped her hand as she laughed and tugged her toward our building.
As if sensing me standing in the window, he looked up at me. His expression darkened, and I stepped back, my heart in my throat. I hated the feelings clawing at my heart. They were suffocating me. Killing me.
You let him go. It’s what you get.
“Wasp,” Dominic called out as he came into the room.
I spun around quickly, my face hot. I wiped at my eyes. His brows crinkled, and he closed the distance between us quickly.
“Mia regina,” he murmured, cradling my face. “What’s wrong?”
“Just nervous,” I answered softly.
It wasn’t a lie. I knew things had the potential to get terrible in just a few short hours.
Dominic frowned and peered past me out the window and sighed. “Come here.”
He led me to the bed and urged me down beside him. Tenderly, he tilted my chin up so we were looking into one another’s eyes.
“I need to be honest with you,” he said.
“OK.” I licked my lips, nervous about where this was going.
“I know your heart mourns Levin’s absence—”
“It doesn’t,” I protested weakly.
He pressed his finger to my lips. “It does. His mourns yours too.” He brushed a strand of hair away from my face. “The thing is, Levin is only with Celeste because he’s closing a deal for me with her father for weapons. He’d never tell you that.”
I stared at him in confusion. “What? You mean…”
He let out a sigh. “I mean, it started as him closing the deal for me. He needed to get close to her so her father would give me the contract. We needed the weapons. I paid a lot of money to get them, and Levin made a big sacrifice. He also sacrificed when he saved you and Fallon that night in the woods. He saved your lives even though it could’ve cost him his own life because he loves you.”
“Then why is he still with her if he loves me?”
He thumbed my bottom lip. “He doesn’t need to be, that much is true. I already told him to fuck the deal and come back, but he’s a stubborn prick. I can’t answer your question, but I’m sure he has his reasons. Maybe he’ll break it off once the weapons are delivered. It shouldn’t be long now.” He paused and studied me for a moment. “He’s not coming tonight. I don’t know what that means for us. He made his choice. He didn’t choose us. Although, I think if he weren’t hurting as much as he is he would have. This is his way of trying to save you, I suppose. Since he knows you’ll be unruly. He’s not going to be the one to make the first move. While he did all those terrible things in the woods that night, he also spared you. Levin has done nothing wrong. This is all on you, wasp. You need to take the first step.”
“I-I can’t,” I whispered. “Not if he’s still with her. And he must want to be or he would’ve listened to you when you said to drop the act with her.”
“Bianca.” Dominic leaned in and kissed the corner of my lips. “We didn’t kill you. You’re still here. I don’t want my crew torn apart over this. Fix it. Only you can.”
“I-I don’t know if I can. But I want to,” I said, giving in because, honestly, I did want to. I wanted Levin back. I was terrified of what the night would bring. When I considered that, I realized he’d probably be safer on campus. Maybe I’d be saving his life this time like he’d once saved mine. And if I survived tonight, I’d do whatever I had to do to fix everything. If it even could be fixed.
“Good girl.” Dominic shifted forward until I had no choice but to lie on my back and stare up at him. He trailed his lips along my jaw, his hand moving to cradle my breast over my shirt.
“What are you doing?” I asked softly.
“I thought it was obvious. I’m going to make love to my wife in case it’s the last time I get to.” He nipped at my bottom lip. “And maybe I’ll even put my baby inside you so you can carry on my legacy if I’m not here.”
My heart banged hard. He still hadn’t given up on that. For a moment, I felt like a complete bitch taking the birth control, but then I reminded myself how I was in no way prepared to have a baby, regardless of what Dominic thought he needed. Or we needed. Bringing a baby into our world would keep me sleepless because I’d always be worried about who might be plotting to hurt it.
I didn’t need that stress. Not right now. I had too much other stuff to sort out in my life without adding a baby to it. Even if that baby would be part me and part Dominic.
He pushed my top up. I shifted so he could remove it along with my bra. Moments later, the rest of my clothes were in a pile on the floor next to Dominic’s.
I’d been resisting having sex just the two of us since we’d gotten married, but I recognized a losing battle when I saw one. Giving in felt right.
Dominic’s fingers slid through my folds, teasing me, making me gasp softly.
“Does my girl like when I touch her?”