Light Me Up

SARA

“So areyou going to tell me what the hell happened to you last night?”

Ellie stood on my front porch at nine a.m. with one hand holding her sunglasses up so I could see her lecturing eyes, and the other holding a takeaway tray of coffee. The look on her face was punishing, but I smiled sweetly at her as I backed up and held the door open so she could come in. Raven sat at my feet and meowed at her. She huffed and strode back to the kitchen.

“It’s like I said, I was feeling off so I just ducked out. I didn’t want to ruin the party or cause a scene.” It was a vague excuse and not really plausible since ducking out had, in fact, made people worry more. But when she texted me soon after I’d gotten home, I responded right away so she’d know I was safe.

“That’s bullshit. You seemed just fine.” She handed me a coffee and took a sip of her own. “Was it Lucas? Did he come on too strong?”

Lucas. I’d all but forgotten about that guy. Despite my intentions, my mind could think of nothing but Theo as I tossed and turned all night. Remembering the way he touched me. The way his lips and tongue and teeth felt on my neck. The way he worked my body like it was a fine-tuned instrument and he, a virtuoso.

At another meow from Raven, I bent down and picked her up, using the extra moment to think of what to say.

“No, not at all. I don’t think I’m interested, but he was fine.”

“Then what—” she stopped talking and stared at me with her mouth open. “What is that?”

“What?” I looked at Raven, now content in my arms, but Ellie was looking past her.

She put her coffee down and grabbed my hand, leading me to the bathroom down the hall. Raven jumped down with a squeal and ran out of sight. Flipping on the light switch, Ellie pushed me in front of the mirror. I was still in my pajamas, soft flannel pants and a black cotton tank top. A gray silk head wrap covered my hair, protecting it during sleep. There was nothing out of the ordinary, and I was about to question why we were here when I saw them. An array of purple-brown marks trailing down my neck and left shoulder.

Dammit.

“You have hickeys!” Her voice gleeful, Ellie’s eyes took on a devilish look.

I groaned.

“So you want to tell me again about how ‘off’ you felt?”

I groaned again. Passing by her and through the door, I went back to the kitchen and gulped down as much coffee as was humanly possible. Ellie strode in behind me with a satisfied smile on her face.

“All right, so Sara had a little secret make-out sesh. Hmm… if it wasn’t Lucas, then—” for the second time in less than two minutes, she stopped talking mid-sentence. Her eyes, now the size of dinner plates, sparkled as she jumped up and down.

“No.”

“You and Theo?”

“No!” I turned around, grabbing a rag and cleaning the already-clean counter.

“He disappeared early last night too. I can’t believe I didn’t think of it until now.”

I dropped the rag, giving up all pretense of distraction and covered my face with my hands. “Oh god.”

“This is amazing. You guys have been buzzing around each other for years. All that bickering was bound to lead to something. Finally!”

“No, don’t say that. It was a mistake. Well, not a mistake, just… not a viable situation.”

“What do you mean? He’s obviously obsessed with you, has been for a while, if you ask me.” I set that aside, though I knew my mind would spin over that sentence for hours later.

“You know him. He’s not a relationship guy. And I can’t do casual with someone I see all the time. With someone we’re all so close with. That’d be a disaster.”

“What if he doesn’t want to do casual with you, though?”

“Well we discussed it, and both agreed to not pursue it. I mean, I can’t see him changing his ways anytime soon.”

“I don’t know.”

“Was it obvious that we were both missing in action? Please tell me it wasn’t.”

“I mean in hindsight, maybe.”

My shoulders sank.

“Don’t worry,” she said, a look of amused pity on her face. “There were so many people there, it was hard to keep track of anything. And Sam and Alex were alternating between being cutesy in love with each other and being hosts to the whole town, so I’m sure they didn’t notice.”

That was true. Most people were already tipsy by that point too. And it’s not like they left together. Why did any of this matter so much? Because her heart was involved? Wait, was it? Shut that down.

“Ellie,” I walked up to her and grabbed her hands, “please don’t tell a soul about this. We both said we would forget it ever happened. I don’t want anyone else to know. Please.”

She looked disappointed, not because she wanted to spread gossip, but because she seemed to actually like the thought of Theo and I together. And that was sweet. But entirely too naive and unrealistic.

“Fine, I promise.”

“Phew, thank you.” I squeezed her hands but she pulled them back and held up a finger.

“On one condition.”

“Name it.”

Ellie’s lips curled up on one side and she scrunched her nose.

“Tell me every single detail.”

* * *