Light Me Up

“I can admit I was wrong about you in a lot of ways. But I’ve always known you were good at the core. You do your job well and protect this town. You care about people. But you have to know, not all cops are like that.”

I hung my head, because as much as I didn’t want it to be the truth, I knew it was.

“I grew up in a rough neighborhood. Not the worst, but nothing like Moon Harbor. When problems happened, we were on our own. The cops there didn’t like to get involved. And when they did, it was rarely ever helpful. Plus, I didn’t know much about Devil’s Rain, but I knew they were powerful. Who knows who they had on their payroll. All I kept thinking was, I’d known Billy for so long and had no idea what he was up to. It was like a kick in the teeth. I was so naive. I realized then, I couldn’t trust anyone.

“You can trust me, Sara.” I needed her to know. It was a bone-deep need. Please trust me. I won’t let you down.

“I know. I know who I can trust now. But back then… everything was upside down.”

“I understand that. You’re so goddamn brave. You survived something so awful and grew into this fierce woman. You should be proud of yourself.”

She smiled then. A small one, but it showed off her dimples and made my chest ache.

“After Mama helped me clean up, she took me back to her house. Mostly everything in the house was Billy’s and at that point, we had no idea he was dead. We just knew I needed to get out. We packed up my few possessions and left. I remember her being so scared. So despondent, like it was her fault. I think that was what hurt the most. Seeing her like that. Knowing I did that to her.”

“But you didn’t. Those assholes did. You can’t blame yourself.”

“It’s easier said than done.” She looked out the window, watching the sailboats on the water. “About a week later, I heard from Mitt, who told me about Billy. He said I should get out of town for a while. That Devil’s Rain knew who I was and would be able to find me.”

“But you had nothing to do with the theft.”

“I know, but I guess I was a scapegoat. They didn’t believe I didn’t know anything about it. Sometimes I wonder what Billy told them. I felt like I was being watched. And then things started happening. Our tires were slashed. Bricks thrown in our window. Our phone line cut.

“Mama was so scared, she didn’t let us leave the house. But they knew where we lived. We weren’t safe, couldn’t keep living like that. So, I took almost all my savings, and what little Mama had, and I moved her out to California. She had a good friend who lived out there, but no relatives or anyone tied to us on paper.” Sara smiled.

“She likes it out there. I miss her terribly, but she’s doing well.”

“Why didn’t you go with her?”

“I wanted to. I hated leaving her. And maybe I was just being paranoid, but I couldn’t risk it. If someone came after us, it was because of me. If I was far away from her, then she’d be safe.”

“That makes sense. And after what you’d gone through, I’d say you had every right to be a little paranoid. So you came to Moon Harbor?”

“No, first I went to Savannah. I figured it was far enough away from Atlanta. But I knew some people and they helped me get a job. At this point, I thought all of this was temporary. That I’d lay low for a while and they’d forget about me. That I’d be able to bring Mama back.”

“So what changed?” I asked, almost scared to hear the answer.

“One day I was walking home from the store and I got a prickle on the back of my neck. I knew something was wrong—I felt it. When I turned around, I saw two men walking toward me. They were about a block away, but they were watching me, heading straight for me.”

“Devil’s Rain?”

She nodded. “They were wearing their cuts or whatever they’re called, with the club patches on them. I was able to get away and spend the night at my friend’s place. I didn’t know if they just found me or if they knew where I lived, but I didn’t want to lead them straight to my apartment if they didn’t.”

I let out a breath. God, she was so smart. So strong. She rose from the table to take her plate to the sink.

“Anyway, this was only about four months after the attack and I’d barely moved past it. So seeing them stalking toward me like that… It triggered me. Big time. I had terrible panic attacks. Cried myself to sleep. As soon as I was strong enough, I picked a spot on the map as far away from Mama and Devil’s Rain. So I came up here to Moon Harbor.”

A realization hit me. I got up and walked to her. She stood with her back against the counter, and I stepped into her space, tucking a curl behind her ear.

“This is why you were so freaked out that day. With the Eryn Blake thing. She posted your face, your name. You were terrified.”

Sara looked at me, nodding slowly.

“I’d done so much to keep myself from being found. I don’t use social media, I changed my last name. But I’d grown comfortable. Safe.” She shrugged. “And careless, I suppose. I knew Eryn had taken tons of photos but I never considered she would post one with me in it. Or that any of it would get so much attention. More naivete.”

“Don’t beat yourself up over that. You had no idea. Hell, no one in town thought that anyone would care about Eryn Blake’s little vacation spot. And we don’t know for sure that they found you because of that, but it makes sense. All this happening now? It makes sense.”

“Yeah,” she said, her face drawn and worried. I hated that. I wanted to take every worry from her that I could. I wanted to see that smile, those dimples, the way her eyes light up when she gets excited about something. And I’d do just about anything to get her back to that. I cupped her cheek.

“I hate that you went through all of that. But you’re here now, and I’m glad for it. You’re one of us and I’ll protect you with my life.”

“I know, you’re a good cop.”

“It’s not just that, Sara. I’m definitely not thinking like a cop.”

“What do you mean?”