If I’d Known (Cursed 1)

Parker needs my silence to protect himself.

"Parker's one of the organizers, isn't he?"

Joey hesitates before responding. "You know I can't say anything," he says, concern evident on his face.

But I don't need Joey to confirm it. I know. Parker's always been one to take risks in the name of success. He's cursed with Confidence. Failure has never been an option for him. He was our source of amphetamines a couple summers ago when we first started doing everything our parents told us not to. I've heard he's had his hands in other recreational habits as well. He's discreet, so I don't know anything for certain. He's been good at keeping a low profile while being successful at whatever he does. Apparently, he's been busy moving up in the world--fast.

"I won't tell anyone," I promise. "But if the police find out he's one of the people running an illegal club, then ... "

"It would be really bad for him, especially if someone got seriously hurt," Joey finishes, his meaning understood.

"Right."

A dark pit opens up in the bottom of my stomach. There isn't anything I can do to make this right. The one person who deserves to go down for this is evidently untouchable--and not just because his grandfather would pay to cover it up, but because everyone I remotely care about would suffer, myself included, if I told the truth. I clench my jaw, fighting the urge to scream.

Joey clears his throat, drawing my attention away from all the ways my life sucks right now. "I probably don't want to know this, but how do you know my brother?"

I stop breathing with the question, not sure how honest I should be right now. I'm not about to tell him that Parker was my first kiss. I don't think Parker even knows he was my first kiss. It was two summers ago. I was thirteen, almost fourteen--don't want it to sound that bad. Parker and Joey are from Oaklawn, so Parker didn't know anything about me. He thought I was sixteen--not because I told him. He assumed, and I didn't correct him.

Tori and I learned the art of dressing a certain way and applying makeup just right so that we appeared older. I started covering shifts for my mother at Stella's around that time, so I'd also acquired the attitude to back it up. No one's ever questioned my age, even if I can barely see over the bar. It's all in how you present yourself to the world, and I had no fucks to give ... until tonight. It helps that I possess an ID that says I'm twenty-two. None of the bars we go to ever blink twice at it. But we live in Sherling. They'd rather have the bodies in the bar and money in their tills.

The first party Tori and I crashed was this high school party at a two-family house a few streets over from Tori's place. Parker was there on "business," just stopping in on his way to a party of his own. But he ended up staying. I may have had something to do with that. He was smooth--still is--saying all the right things and focused on me like I was the only girl in the room. As aloof as I may have tried to act, I was jumping around and screaming with excitement on the inside. Here I was, at my first party, and this absolutely gorgeous guy was hitting on me. I wanted to die!

I did my best to play hard to get. I didn't give him my number when he asked for it. Actually, he still doesn't have my number. But when he leaned over in that dark corner I was pressed against, his arm resting on the wall above my head, I didn't move. I didn't push him away. I didn't turn my head. I stood there, perfectly still, and let him press his lips to mine. He teased with slow, playful kisses. And when his tongue entered my mouth, he was slow and gentle. It was ... perfect. I think my knees would have given out if the wall hadn't been holding me up.

That was the first and last time Parker Harrison ever kissed me. And it's the kiss I will never forget.

Parker must have asked around about me after that because the next time we saw him out, he was pissed. Kissing a thirteen-year-old wasn't exactly good for his reputation, no matter how old he thought I was. He had just graduated and wouldn't have been caught dead with a junior, forget about a girl who hadn't even entered high school. Then he saw Nina with us ...

Once they happened, he was completely off-limits to me. Even when he came around again and got to know me better.

I refuse to give him a chance, no matter how many times he asks.

I must have been quiet too long because Joey suddenly says, "Forget it. Don't tell me."

"It's not like that. We just ... see him around," I assure him, trying to sound casual. "He and Nina have a thing. Or whatever. And he sometimes goes to the same bars we do in Sherling."

"You have a fake ID?" Joey asks in surprise.

"You don't?"

Joey shrugs. "I don't really use it. It's one of Parker's old ones. I've never tried to get into bars. The town where I go to school is too small. I'm afraid I'd get busted with it. But I buy beer outside of town sometimes." He shifts uncomfortably again. "So ... he and Nina, not ... " Joey shakes his head. "Never mind."

"Nothing's going on between me and Parker."

"Sorry," he says with a weak smile. "It's happened before ... "

I laugh. "You and your brother have hooked up with the same girl?"

"No," he replies adamantly. "This girl and Parker had a ... thing, and when he ended it, she thought I could be the perfect revenge. Except, I couldn't stand to talk to her, let alone kiss her."

"If I remember right, you don't need to talk to kiss," I tease.

I swear his cheeks redden. "You know what I mean."

I've been trying to figure out Joey's curse since the party. But whatever it is, it isn't obvious. As much as he looks like a mussed, youthful version of Parker, he is nothing like him. And so ... I guess I should stop comparing them.

"I wouldn't use you as revenge," I tell him sincerely. "I'm not interested in your brother. Most of the time, I wish I didn't know him."