"Are you seriously going to stand right there?" I bark at Officer I-Still-Live-With-My-Mother, making a point to fold a pair of lacy thongs that don't really need folding. His face flushes. He takes a few steps into the living room, out of view, as I knew he would.
"They're sending me away, as part of my plea agreement," I explain, continuing to pack--more to keep from having to look at them than to rush to get out of here. I haven't seen or spoken with either of them since I was arrested over three weeks ago. I wasn't allowed contact with anyone other than my mother and the lawyers. It was honestly the fastest court process ever. It usually takes months to go through what Niall made happen in just a couple of weeks. I'm grateful, but I'd also rather not be packing my bags right now.
"Where are you going?" Nina asks, slowly scanning the disarray in my room.
"Some private school." I shut the empty drawer and open the one below it.
"Stop." Tori takes the stack of clothes from my hands and tosses them on the bed. "What the hell's going on? We haven't seen you since that night, and every time we asked your mother, she'd say your lawyer was taking care of everything. This was supposed to be for possession. So, what is this?" Tori holds up her hands to present the disaster that is my room being packed away. "Because it doesn't feel right."
I let out a long breath, my eyes tracing the floorboards before facing my friends' worried expressions. "The charges were ...complicated. The police tried to get me to talk, and I wouldn't. Not without making a mess of everything. You would've been charged just for being there. I couldn't let that happen." I look from Nina to Tori. "I pled to obstruction and aiding and abetting. Niall arranged to have me sent to a private school instead of juvie. The judge said it's an opportunity to straighten out my life, away from bad influences." I roll my eyes. "I wasn't given a choice."
"For how long?"
"Where's the school?"
The girls ask in unison.
"I don't know. They haven't told me where. I'm due back in court in six months, so I hope they'll let me come home by Christmas."
"This is bullshit," Tori proclaims through gritted teeth, collapsing onto my bed. "I cannot believe you covered for that asshole. He's the one who should be sent away. Not you."
"We would've told them who he was if you let us." Nina stops flipping through the hangers in my closet long enough to connect with me. She looks away and selects a pink fur jacket to model in front of the full-length mirror on the back of the door. I know she's avoiding, finding a way to focus her anger by doing something menial. She forgets that I know her and can easily see that she's just as pissed as I am. But emotions aren't her thing. I wish they weren't mine.
"I know. This was the only real option," I tell them, having already accepted whatever fate awaited the night I was arrested, convinced it was worth protecting my friends. But I never expected to be sent away to a new school. It feels much more permanent than a stint at an anger management or some other state run program. "I'll tell you where I am once I'm there." I start packing again, resigned.
Niall prepared me. I knew that he was going to request to have me transferred out of juvie, but he didn't say anything about a private school! It's so much worse than I could've prepared for. How is this the best thing for me? I've already raged through anger and frustration, screaming at Niall in the halls of the courthouse this morning. I felt betrayed. I actually thought he wanted to help me. Now, I'm too spent and defeated, the anger simmering in my gut. Packing is the only thing I can do, or else, I was told, that it'll be done for me by Officer Dickhead. And the last thing I want is for him to pocket a pair of thongs while he shoves only sweats and T-shirts into a bag.
"Your mom has to know where you're going," Tori says, keenly watching me pack just about everything I own. "We'll find out from her."
I shrug. "I guess."
Tori stands and blocks my way to the closet where Nina's buttoning up a blouse she stole for me for my birthday last year.
"Why are you acting like this? Like you don't care?" she demands passionately, the only one of us who has no issue displaying her fury.
"So I won't cry." I bite my lip to keep it from trembling. There's an ache that won't let me go. I slowly meet her eyes. "I'm afraid that I'm never coming back. I don't know why. I just am." I've experienced so many emotions the past few weeks, I can feel them fighting to get out. Right now, I can't stop the tear from drawing a line down my cheek.
Tori closes the distance and wraps her arms around me. "No one's going to keep you from us. It doesn't matter where they send you. You understand? You're our girl. We will find you. Hell, we'll break you out if you need us to."
I release a choked laugh into her shoulder, holding her just as tightly, knowing they would.
"None of this 'I'm never going to see you again' bullshit," Nina says from over Tori's shoulder, hands on her hips. "Alright?"
I nod, swiping the moisture from my cheeks, and force a smile. But there's more to it than just missing my friends. I hate thinking about what might happen while I'm away. How can I keep the promise I made to make sure Tori graduates? And who will have Nina's back when her need for respect gets the better of her? Then there's my mom ...
"Can I have this?" Nina asks, swirling in a yellow empire dress that still has the tag on it.
"Go for it," I reply, my voice thick with emotion. "Yellow isn't my color."
I grip Tori by her shoulders so she can see how serious I am. "Promise me you'll graduate." She rolls her eyes. "Promise me."
"Whatever."
Her answer isn't convincing, so I make sure mine is.
"I'll never forgive you if you don't."
"I'll graduate," she drones with a heavy sigh. "But you'll be here. So stop. Okay?" I nod slightly. "I'll make Lincoln do my work while you're away."