Her words sound rehearsed, like she's trying to convince herself as well as us. That paired with her avoiding gaze makes it obvious she's not being completely honest, even with herself. Maybe she feels lying will keep her from getting hurt. I know all the signs, having lived with a Believer for a mother. Someone who's always convinced a guy is right for her until he makes it very clear he's not.
"Don't settle for fun if that's not what you want. You are not a toy," I tell her, my words probably more chastising than they're meant to be. "You deserve to be worshipped. And if he or any other guy doesn't see that, then fuck them." I choose to add, "Not literally," just to make sure she understands, because as much as I adore her, she is a bit clueless.
"Yeah, fuck 'em!" Ashton holds out her glass for each of us to tap.
"Happy birthday, Pixie," Lance says from behind me, reaching in to tap his glass with the rest of us.
"We were just talking about you!" Ashton declares. Kaely's mouth rounds.
"You just said, fuck 'em, so," his eyes dart between us, "it's either going to be a really interesting night, or you know about me and Kaely."
"Sorry," Kaely says, with a cringing smile.
"I'm fine if they know," he says. "But are you okay? Did I do something wrong?"
"Uh, we're going to get another drink," I announce, pulling Ashton after me to let them talk without an audience.
"Hey, I wanted to hear that," Ashton sulks.
"Sometimes you say things that maybe should stay on the inside," I tell her, before taking a large swallow from my drink so we can get another.
"Maybe," she admits reluctantly. "Or maybe ... sometimes you should say the things you're really feeling on the inside."
I laugh. "Maybe."
We find Lily inside, pouring champagne for new arrivals.
"Allow me," Stefan says, appearing from somewhere. "Shot for the birthday girl?"
"Yes!" Ashton and Lily holler in unison. I laugh.
He makes us a round of shots that taste like fresh watermelon and mint. And gives me a second immediately after.
"Come help pick out music," Lily beckons, taking me by the hand. "We need to get people dancing."
She leads me to a tablet where I scroll through songs and create a playlist.
"Should I have warned you about Joey being here?" she
asks, leaning against the arm of the leather chair I'm sitting on.
"You call him Joey? Not Wil?"
She giggles like I'm being funny. "I grew up with him, just like you. I call him by the name we did as kids."
"I didn't really grow up with him," I tell her, not wanting her to think I'm more familiar with Joey than I am.
"Well, you know what I mean," she says, shrugging it off. "But I know how he feels about you, and I'm guessing you don't feel the same?"
"Uh." I shift uncomfortably. "I don't know if I know how he feels about me. It was just one night, and it was the craziest night, so maybe he thinks he felt something that was only heightened by adrenaline or something."
"I don't think so."
I look at her curiously, and she offers a small sad smile. "But if you don't feel the same, then you can't force it, can you? Anyway, I should've told you he was coming. I'm sorry."
I nod, because I can't say anything in attempt to make her feel better that would be honest. Yeah, I would have liked the heads up. No, it's not really okay that he's here. And what the hell is she even talking about with the whole feelings thing?! We just met. It was one night.
I focus on creating the playlist for a few more minutes before Lily takes it back from me and switches the music over, allowing the electronic beats to blast through the speakers. She presses a few buttons on the tablet and the lights dim and begin flashing and pulsing--outside as well. People holler in response and soon bodies are moving to the beat.