"I love kissing you!" I protest passionately. "I didn't know they were magic! I didn't believe in magic. But now I do. And I'm so sorry. I tried to make them come back up, but they got stuck."
Lance laughs again, thoroughly entertained. Grant smiles. Squirrel nods his head like he completely supports everything I just said.
"Stefan's starting the boat to take people out in the lake to watch the fireworks, if you want to go," Grant says, but he's looking at Lance, not me.
"Sounds good. You're going to stay here with her?" Lance gestures to me and releases another quick laugh. I didn't realize I was so funny.
Squirrel is on his feet and walking toward the lake. "I'm all about fireworks, man." He appears way more whole than I feel.
"Don't miss the fireworks," I tell Grant, feeling sad.
"I won't," he promises. "Can you stand?" He offers me his hand.
"Are you coming?" Kaely asks as she and Lily approach with big thermal cups.
"We're going to stay here," Grant tells them, helping me onto my feet. The grass feels squishy between my toes. I stand there curling them into the cool, soft blades. When I look back up, it's just Grant.
"Where'd everybody go?"
"To the boat. Well, not everyone. Want to watch the fireworks with me?"
I let out a depressing sigh.
"What's wrong?"
"I think I'm broken."
"You're not broken," Grant says with a chuckle, wrapping his arm around me and guiding me down to the beach. "You're just chemically imbalanced."
"Oh," I reply. That earns another amused laugh. I'm having a hard time keeping up with what's so funny.
When we reach the beach, I stop. "This feels so weird." I sink my toes further into the sand. Then I kneel down to bury my fingers too. "This is amazing; you should feel it."
"I'm going to strangle Squirrel," I hear Grant mutter, bending down to coax me back to my feet.
"Don't do that," I plead urgently. "He's a wizard."
Grant smiles and leans down to press his lips to my forehead. "I won't really, I promise."
We continue onto the dock and when we sit on the end to slip our feet into the water, I sigh audibly. I lean against Grant, my head over his heart. He has an arm bracing me so I don't topple into the water.
"Your love is very loud." It pounds against my ear. "What does it feel like, to love?"
I gaze up into his cloudless eyes, and he offers me the sweetest smile. "You don't know?"
I shake my head. "I've only seen it hurt."
He nods in understanding. "Love doesn't hurt. Ever."
"Squirrel said that."
"He is a wizard," Grant confirms, like that explains it. I nod.
"But you've ... been with someone before, right?" Then he quickly says, "I shouldn't have asked you that. Forget it."
"I'm not a virgin," I confirm. "But Jensen wasn't love. He was ... sex."
"That's ... sad."