Barred Desires (The Deepest Desires 1)

The house is filledto the brim with people drinking and grinding to the music. I’m three beers and two shots of Jack in, starting to feel nice and toasty. The guy I met on Grindr tonight showed up about two beers ago and is dancing on my lap. His name is Tony, I think?

Maybe Troy.

Who fucking knows.

Tony Troy is hot and clearly very willing, and that’s what matters tonight.

I wouldn’t say I’m a player, but I do enjoy my fair share of male company, and I absolutely do not do strings or drama or commitment. Tony Troy turns around so he’s straddling my lap, then leans down and licks from the side of my neck up to my ear, biting my earlobe and telling me he’ll be right back with more drinks.

Definitely fucking him tonight.

As soon as he disappears into the kitchen that’s packed with bodies, I see the front door open. I make eye contact with Luca as he closes it behind them, and I nod my head in greeting. He looks nice tonight with black, ripped skinny jeans on and a blue Bellingham hoodie that does wonders to make his blue eyes pop. He looks like he got a fresh cut, with his sides short and his dirty blonde hair longer on top.

He smiles when he sees me, and I'm always taken aback by how captivating his smile is. He’s never even had braces either. It’s just naturally a big, white, straight smile. He is classically good looking, with a sharp, square jawline and cheekbones to die for.

Courtney is right behind him, wearing a soft pink sundress and sandals, holding onto his hand. She offers a small smile when she sees me, then whispers something into Luca’s ear, heading into the kitchen for drinks, I presume.

Courtney is a nice enough girl, and I guess I can see why Luca is attracted to her on a physical level, but I don’t understand how they’re still together.

They fight constantly.

They are such a prime example of why I refuse to do commitment.

I can’t honestly see them making it past freshman year of college, I just can’t.

They are too different. She is too much of a social butterfly and a flirt, while he is such a homebody and total introvert. I mean, I guess opposites attract or whatever.

Not my relationship, not my business, I suppose.

Making his way over to me, Luca has to be feeling way out of his element. He’s never been one for large gatherings, but the way he saunters through the crowd, you’d never know. His walk is full of confidence and swagger.

“Hey, man, this is crazy! There are so many people here. Do you know all of them?”

“Fuck no. I know maybe half of them. The rest wandered in somehow.” I laugh and throw an arm around him. “How was the drive over?”

“Wasn’t bad. I wanted to leave earlier, but that didn’t happen. I'm here now, though. It’s Weston’s birthday, yes?”

“Yup,” I say as I pop the P. “Another year older, but certainly not any wiser.”

We both erupt into laughter at that.

Weston is well known for his dumbass ways. He’s always the one looking for a good time and getting himself into trouble. The fact that he’s made it this far in life without ever being arrested is somewhat of a miracle.

“Alright, I’m going to go find Courtney and get a drink. I’ll catch up with you later?”

“For sure, man. Have a good time. If you want to crash here, feel free. There’s a spare bedroom upstairs. Just take a left off the stairs, and it’ll be the last door on the right.”

“Right on, appreciate it, bro.” Smiling, he turns on his heel and weaves his way through the groups in the living room, heading to the kitchen.

Luca and I used to be closer while growing up. We aren’t that far apart in age, and we often hung out with the same group of friends. We aren’t unfriendly by any means now, but in my last year and a half of high school, I found myself trying to keep away from him a bit more.

After walking in on him and Courtney, I didn’t want to continue to have those thoughts about him all the time, and they seem more prevalent when we spend time together. It’s not only the weird aspect of him being family, but that he’s also straight as fuck and the thoughts are a waste of my time. Nothing will come out of it, so better to distance myself.

I’m not in love with him or anything. I just want to shove him to his knees and fill his throat with my cock from time to time.

No big deal.

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