Forsaken Desires (The Deepest Desires 2)

chapter thirty

Aston

I desperately want to know what’s going on with Knox, but I know full well he isn’t going to tell me. I pour all my worry and anxiousness into this one kiss. His lips part for mine and my tongue dips inside, tangling with his. He tastes distinctly like vodka, and knowing that he drove here like this does nothing to calm my worry for him.

He groans, pulling my hips forward until I’m leaning over him. Not wanting to hurt him anymore than he already is, I’m careful not to give him too much of my weight. The slight distance between our bodies has Knox reaching down and palming me over my sweats.

“Fuck, Aston. You’re already hard for me,” he mumbles against my lips, causing a chill to roll through my body.

“Mhmm,” is all I can manage in return. I’ve wanted to see him, get my hands on him, since the party this past weekend, but with everything that went down with Crew and our own family shit, we haven’t been able to see each other.

His warm, calloused hand slides under the waistband, wrapping around my aching cock and stroking me. A gasp falls from my lips, and I suck his bottom lip into my mouth, biting it as he tightens his grip on me.

“Take these off,” he orders me, pulling them off my hips. “Now.”

Okay, shit… Knox being demanding is doing things to me. Kicking off my sweats, I climb back over him and reach for his waistband. “You too, bossy.” I smirk as I drag them down, his beautiful, solid cock springing free.

My mouth immediately waters at the sight of his glistening tip. Unable to help myself, I lower my head, swiping my tongue out, and licking his arousal. A hiss escapes him, and his hips buck up, cock twitching and begging for more attention. Sucking only the swollen crown into my mouth, his hands fly to my head, shoving me down, forcing me to take more of him.

“Shit, Aston. That’s right, suck my fucking cock.”

Taking him all the way to the back of my throat, I hold myself there a moment, relishing in the noises he’s making because of me. When I peer up at him, his head is thrown back, his long, tattooed neck exposed to me.

I lift back up, swirling my tongue around the tip, and take his length in my hand, giving him a few lazy strokes. His lust-filled eyes meet mine and my breath gets caught in my throat.

What happened to you tonight, Knox?

He is a beautiful, broken disaster, and there is nothing I want more in this moment than him. Every toxic, messy, angry piece of him. I don’t understand it, and I probably never will, but his eyes tell me he needs me just as much as I need him.

“C’mere,” I rasp.

Sitting up, he holds my gaze but doesn’t say anything. I don’t know when exactly all of this became more than sex, but something’s shifted. He’s become more than someone I enjoy fucking with and pissing off. Not that I don’t still love to fuck with him, but it’s more. The air is thick and there’s more than just desire written all over his face.

After what feels like an eternity, I break the silence blanketing the room. “What do you want?” Whether I mean right this second or in general, I’m not sure.

“You,” he croaks, barely above a whisper, but his eye contact never falters. He means that and the admission cracks something inside of me.

“So, have me.”

I don’t know which one of us moves first, but our lips slam together in a bruising kiss, tongues tangling and exploring the other all over again. Grabbing my shoulders, he flips us so he’s on top of me and I’m on my back. He straddles me effortlessly, our bare cocks rubbing together, causing both of us to groan.

“I want to fuck you this time.”

“Is that right?” I chuckle, wrapping my hand around both of our cocks.

“Yeah, fucker, I do.”

I would be lying through my teeth if I said I wasn’t nervous and hesitant about this. Yeah, I’ve fucked him, but this seems like so much more. If I let him fuck me, there’s no going back, no denying my feelings. Despite all of that, I still hear myself say, “So, fuck me, then.”

Shock crosses his face for half a second before he schools his features. “Do you have a condom and lube?”

Nodding my head, I say, “Nightstand.”

Leaving to grab the necessary materials, he tosses them on the bed beside us before climbing back on.

“Do you know how to get me ready, or do you need me to?”

“Fuck off, Aston. I may have never fucked a man, but I have fucked an ass before. I can do it.”

Okay, then.

Flicking the cap open, he pours some on to his hand, setting the bottle off to the side. Bringing his slick fingers along my crack, he lowers his mouth down on my cock at the same time. Gliding his hot, wet tongue from the base of my cock up to the tip while he massages his fingers around my hole has my eyes slamming shut and a throaty groan escaping.

Sure, I’ve done ass play with myself before, but I’ve never had someone else do it. This is brand new fucking territory. I love it as much as it terrifies me.

As he takes me fully in his mouth, he slips a finger past the tight muscle, a hiss escaping me at the intrusion. He bobs deliciously up and down my cock as he works his finger in deeper, at an agonizingly slow pace. Once he gets his finger all the way in, he removes it, then pushes two.

This time when he gets his fingers fully seated inside me, he crooks his fingers on his way out, sending mind-blowing shock waves through my entire body.

“Fuck, yes. Knox, yes. More.”

His fingers scissor inside me, working to really open me up, just as I did with him. The dual sensation is overwhelming, and I don’t know if I should thrust into his throat or bear down on his fingers in my ass.

Popping his mouth off my cock and removing his fingers, leaving me feeling way too empty, he grabs the condom and rips it open with his teeth—a move that has no business being as fucking sexy as it is. Rolling the rubber on while never taking his eyes off me, a chill wracks my body at the same time my skin’s temperature raises several degrees. His depraved gaze lights my blood on fire and I have to wrap my hand around my cock and squeeze hard to stop myself from blowing on the spot.

Applying a liberal amount to his sheathed cock, he lines himself up to me. “Ready?”

“Just do it.”

A devilish grin spreads across his face as he pushes in slowly, pumping my length as he slides in farther.

“Ah, fuck,” I groan, forcing myself not to tense up. “You’re fucking huge, bro.”

“Aw, thanks, darlin’,” he says, a smug smile on his face as he fully seats himself inside me. “Fucking hell, Aston. You’re so fucking tight.”

“Thanks, darlin’. Now move, please.”

Pulling out nearly all the way, he slides back in slowly, my eyes rolling back. He keeps up the slow pace for several moments, his name falling from my lips like a prayer. His resolve snaps at the sound, and his eyes flash with carnal desire as he grips my hips and slams into me.

“Oh, fuck, Knox. Fuck yes, that’s it. Give it to me,” I moan, barely able to form complete sentences at this point. With each thrust, his cock grazes my prostate, causing wicked pleasure to soar inside me.

“You like that?” he asks, his thrusts unrelenting. “You like my big, fat cock sliding into your tight ass?”

“Oh my God. Yes! Fuck yes.” His words cause raw desire to reignite in my veins. “Shit, Knox. Harder!”

“You think you can handle it?”

“Fuck,” I grunt. His gaze on me is heady, and he looks as lust drunk as I feel. “Give me your worst, baby.”

Pushing my legs back until my thighs hit my chest, he pulls out only to slam back in with such brutal force, a gurgled cry comes out of me.

“You look so fucking good taking this dick, you know that?”

“Ah… fuck… yes!”

He’s fucking me mercilessly, the sound of his skin slapping against mine so loud that I wouldn’t be surprised if Anderson could hear it from down the hall.

His dark hair is a mess, sweat has it slick to his forehead, his eyes, which are blazing with hunger, are so heavy and glossy, and his face and neck are flushed.

He’s coming undone while bringing me to the brink of total rapture. I can’t think of anything past him; he’s consuming my whole being and rocking my world as he ruthlessly pounds into me.

“Ah, Aston, fuck. You feel so fucking good.”

Wrapping my palm around my leaking cock, I stroke myself in time with his thrusts. Waves of pulsing pressure start to coil up my spine, making their way down into my balls as they draw up. Tingling pleasure takes over, all the way down to my toes, and a shiver rolls through me.

There’s no holding this back. I’m… “Gonna come. Fuck, gonna come!”

He thrusts into me again as my cock erupts. Pulsing, hot streams of cum spray all over my abs and chest. The feeling is so intense, my entire body convulses. “Ah, fuck yes. Oh, God.”

“Holy shit, Aston. That was the hottest fucking thing I’ve ever seen. Ahh!” He can barely speak, a groan rumbling over his words as his own release takes hold of him. He slams into me, then stills, coming with a deep roar.

My heart rate is so erratic, I can hear it in my ears, but holy fuck. What a goddamn experience. He pulls out of me, and I already miss the fullness of him inside me. Tossing the condom in the trash, he comes back to the bed. He doesn’t get on, instead bends over beside it with his hands planted on the bed and his head hanging between his shoulders.

After several minutes of silence and us catching our breaths, he finally speaks.

“What the fuck, man. Why is sex with you so fucking out of this world?”

I genuinely don’t know if this is rhetorical or not, so I remain quiet.

“I don’t fucking get it. It’s never been like this. You make me feel things I’ve never felt before.” He finally looks up at me, his eyes swimming with raw emotion. “What are you fucking doing to me, Aston?”

“Same thing you’re doing to me, Knox,” I admit quietly.

“Fuck,” is all he says, pushing off the bed and grabbing his pants off the floor. He winces as he pulls them on, his ribs clearly bothering him.

“What actually happened to you tonight? No bullshit.”

“I told you, I got into a fight. I’m fine.”

“At least let me get you some ice? It’ll help blood flow and reduce swelling. You’ll thank me in the morning.”

He looks at me like he wants to argue or refuse, but eventually he says, “Yeah, okay.”

Grabbing an old shirt to clean the mess on my chest up, I slip my sweats back on and lead us out of my room. He stops me as soon as we get into the hall. “Uh, we’re both half naked… is anyone home?”

“My parents are gone until Friday and Anderson is sleeping, I’m pretty sure. We’re good.”

Once we reach the kitchen, I grab a couple of icepacks from the freezer and two hand towels from the drawer, wrapping the ice up. Handing them to him, I ask, “Want something to drink?”

“Thanks, and uh, water, please.”

As I’m getting us both water from the fridge, footsteps sound in the hall, and I know we’re busted. Anderson apparently isn’t asleep. Fuck. Closing the fridge, I come face to face with my brother. His eyes are shifting between Knox and me, pure confusion painting his face.

“What are you doing here?” he asks Knox. They get along just fine, but he knows we don’t.

“Uh,” is all Knox gets out before Anderson speaks again.

“Wait a fucking second,” he says, shooting an inquisitive look my way. “Is he the noise I heard in your room a little while ago?!”

Shiiit.I look over and watch all the color drain from Knox’s face. He looks seconds away from making a dash for the front door, but he’s in no position to drive.

“Listen.” I walk over to Knox in an attempt to stop his escape. “It’s not a big deal, Anderson. Drop it.”

The look I pin him with that I had hoped screamed “back off” didn’t work, because Anderson speaks up again. “No big deal? Aston… dude. Sex noises were coming from your room. Wait—is there a girl up there?”

“Well, no,” I say, now refusing to meet his stare.

“Were you guys fucking?”

“I’m gonna go.” Knox slides off the chair he’s sitting on.

“I don’t fucking think so, man. You’re in no position to drive. Sit. Down.”

“You are, aren’t you?”

Man, will he fucking let it go already?

“Anderson, fuck. Knock it off and drop it.”

Glancing between us with a look that tells me he very much does not want to drop it, he finally says, “Fine. But this isn’t over. You and I are talking about this later.” Then, he peers over at Knox and says, “You look like fucking shit, bro,” before walking out of the kitchen.

Looking over at Knox, he’s shooting daggers at me with his eyes. “Calm down, Knox.”

“No, you fucking calm down!”

“I am calm. You’re the one who looks like he’s three seconds away from giving himself a hernia. He’s not going to say anything to anyone. Plus, it’s not like Weston and Cash don’t already know.”

“Fuck this, man, I’m just going to go.” He gets up, tossing the ice packs on the counter as he tries to walk out, but I grab his arm at the last minute.

“You aren’t going anywhere, Knox. You’re hurt and you’ve been drinking.” At the risk of being decked again, I cup the back of his neck and pull him to me, capturing his lips in a soft kiss. Surprisingly, he opens up for me and relaxes in my hold when my tongue dips inside.

When we break the kiss, he looks at me with sad eyes and quietly asks, “Can I stay here tonight?”

My heart shatters for him, and I wish I understood what was going on, but I know I can’t force him to tell me. I can only be here for him however he’ll let me. “Of course you can.