For her or the memories I had worked so hard over the years to banish from my mind.
Or for anything that didn’t involve my path toward taking over as chief of police from my father when he retired, which, given the way my mother was pushing him, would be sooner than later.
Why did she have to come back when I’d finally gotten over her? I stalked to my bathroom, tearing my clothes off on the way. A hot shower was what I needed, then I’d go to bed without remembering all the nights I’d spent buried inside of her sweet little body, the vows we’d taken, the promises we’d made, the dreams we had shared . . . And I couldn’t forget the plans—years’ worth of plans—for our future, dead and buried, gone with the stroke of a pen.
The hot spray of water did nothing to calm me down. I turned it to cold, shivering beneath the icy blast as I hurried to wash this entire day away. Trying to scrub thoughts of her out of my mind was useless when I could still feel the soft press of her body against mine.
After slipping into my robe, I cranked up the heater, bypassing my bedroom to fall back on my couch with a plop. I stared at my reflection in the TV screen, my remote sitting beneath it across the room. There were some days when nothing went my way, and apparently this was one of them. On every level. I was well and good into a pity party for one when I punched a throw pillow, then fell to my side. I had just drifted off when pounding on my door woke me up.
“Damn. Seriously?”
“Yo, Cade! Let me in.” It was Levi. If he didn’t have food or coffee, he would not be invited inside.
Throwing open the door, I greeted him with a grouchy, “What?”
He waved a lavender bag in my face and pushed his way inside. “I brought breakfast from Violet. And a smoothie. You’re welcome, sunshine.” His knowing smirk was infuriating, but I’d let it go until after I ate. I headed to my room to dress.
His feet were on my coffee table and he was already stuffing his face when I made it back to the living room. Apparently, I had company to entertain.
“Why is your remote way over there, dumbass? Get it before you sit down. Then you can go ahead and ask me.”
“Ask you what?” I chucked the remote to him before grabbing the bag full of breakfast he’d brought and taking a huge sip of smoothie. “Thanks, man.”
His eyebrows went up as he sipped his coffee and chuckled at my pathetic attempt to keep my feelings to myself. “About Charlotte. She’s fine, by the way. I drove her to her dad’s place. Her brothers swarmed her like she was near death or something.”
“I can imagine.” They were probably driving her crazy. She grew up the youngest of six kids and she was the only girl.
“They’ll tow her car out to the shop later. You doin’ okay? This is the first time you’ve seen her since she’s been home, right?”
“It’s fine. I’m fine. I’m over it.” I answered, swiping the remote out of his hand and flicking the TV on.
“Sure. Okay.” His side eyed skepticism was warranted, but also annoying.
I huffed a beleaguered sigh and avoided his eyes. “I don’t want to talk about her,” I muttered.
“You never do, and that’s fine. I’m only here to help.”
“Not to pry?” I arched a brow.
He laughed. “I would never.” Levi was a nosy little shit and always had been. He would pry eventually. My entire family was a bunch of meddlers, always up in each other’s business. But not me; I stayed out of everyone’s way, and I expected the same treatment.
“Mom didn’t find out and send you over here?” I prodded. “Ever since she found out about all of it, she’s been trying to get me to discuss the fact that Charlotte divorced her husband and asking how I feel about her being single and back in town.” I sent him a warning look. “I’m not talking about it, with any of you.”
“I’m not here for that, okay?” His eyes softened in sympathy. “The look on your face at the crash site was intense is all. I was worried about you.”
My eyebrows lifted in surprise. “Oh, well, thanks. I’m fine. Just tired. I worked all night.” I wasn’t sure if I wanted to be alone; my memories of Charlotte were coming at me like a freight train, and a distraction could be a good thing. But I was absolutely sure I didn’t want to talk about anything that had happened this morning so I turned the volume up on the TV to discourage any more conversation.