One and Only

Charlotte

As the great Taylor Swift had once kind of said: I knew he was trouble, yet I walked right into Holloway’s anyway. I had pulled up in my Jeep to find him standing there, all long legs and broad shoulders, big biceps, and that glorious beard . . . The beard was new, and I liked it. A lot. Anyway, he was hotter than ever, and I was drifting into yearning, burning, crushing-on-Cade territory again. I was stuck in a middle school déjà vu; maybe I’d go home and cry into my journal over a juice box and some Cheetos.

The smart thing to do would be to steer clear of him. He was an irresistibly rugged, brawny mountain man cop now. I would bet money he could rip a log in half like Captain America. I would also pay good money to see him do it—shirtless, maybe even pantsless.

Be smart, Charlotte. Stay away.

I didn’t want to be smart. Being smart was boring. What I wanted to do was find him and see how that sexy beard would feel running over every inch of my body. Would it tickle? I bet it would.

Why couldn’t I?

Why shouldn’t I?

We were consenting adults and we used to be so good together—so freaking good . . .

Argh! No more thinking about Cade’s physical prowess allowed.

I had a career to maintain, one I had fought hard for. I had stuff, and things, and, vital, uh crap to do. Dang it, I couldn’t afford to get wrapped up and distracted by a man. Not ever again.

I had goals. Big ones.

There were two things I had always wanted out of my life. From the time I first learned to read—when I saw all the magic contained within the pages of a book—I wanted to be a writer. And from the second I saw Caden Andrew Barrett walk through the door of the Sweetbriar Tiny Tots Preschool, carrying a blue teddy bear dressed like a cop and a Superman lunch box, I had known he would be mine someday. But during our senior year, I earned a full scholarship to NYU to study writing and that had turned my dream into a real-life, tangible goal—a goal I had been determined to reach.

But I couldn’t have both. I’d tried it once, but stifling my dream and neglecting my goals had eaten me alive. I couldn’t do it, not even for Cade. And I refused to hurt him ever again.

I’d married him after graduation, putting off college with the hope I could somehow convince him to come with me, or at least wait for me. I tried everything I could think of to keep both of my dreams in my life, but it wasn’t meant to be—he had goals of his own that didn’t mesh with mine.

I cut the engine and stared at my garage door. My landlord, old Mr. McMillon, known around town as a total cheapskate, had a bunch of crap stored in there, which was bullshit, but I had demanded a discount and got it, so I’d felt like I couldn’t complain too much about having to park in the driveway. But who was I kidding? I could complain about anything, and I figured out real quick I would rather have a garage than a discount, especially when the weather was bad and I couldn’t enter the house through the garage and my car was covered with freaking snow.

With a heavy sigh, I grabbed my stuff and hopped out to head for my front door. My townhouse was on the end of the row, with a front door facing a lovely side yard planted with evergreen shrubs and pine trees. It was the only one that didn’t pick up the sound of traffic driving by. I was lucky to snag it despite the lack of garage space.

“Charlotte!” I spun, a huge smile chasing away my melancholy as my Sweetbriar-bestie Gwen came barreling out of her minivan to give me hugs and a welcome home present. “I hope it’s okay to drop by. You’ve been here for what seems like forever, and I keep hearing from other people how great you look and all about what’s going on with you. I had to see for myself.”

“It’s okay! I’m glad you’re here! Can you come inside for a bit?”

“I can’t stay long. I have to pick up the kids, otherwise I would drink all your coffee and force you to spill every detail of the lunch you just had with Cade.”

“That’s already going around town? Damn, I’m impressed.”

“Don’t tell me you forgot about the gossip mill in this town. I mean, Elizabeth and Mom are the main purveyors. I heard it from them.” She passed me a gift bag.

I removed the tissue paper and pulled out a gorgeous windchime. “This is beautiful!”

She gestured to the empty plant hook extending from the beam by the porch railing. “Hang it right there and think of me every time it wakes you up at night.”

I looped it over the hook. “It’s perfect. Thanks Gwen.”

“You’re welcome! Love you, Charli.”

“Love you too. We will catch up for real, over a long dinner with loads of wine before I go back to New York.”

“No. I refuse to let you leave again. Next time I see you I’m bringing my marry-me-brownies. You’ll stay in Sweetbriar, we can forget about men, buy a house together, and be roomies forever.”

“God, I’ve missed you, you nerd, and you know I can’t fight the power of your brownies. Dad and the brothers want me to stay too.”

“And what about Cade?”

I shot her a look. “Don’t even get that into your head. It’s not going to happen.”

“Why not? You loved each other so much—”

“And look how it ended. We broke each other’s hearts. We want different things from our lives. He wanted marriage, babies, a fricking dog. He wanted to stay here forever. His roots are planted so deep in Sweetbriar they’ll never budge. You know that, Gwen, and you know me. I needed something more than that.”

“Oh, Charli, that’s not exactly true. Yeah, he’s a Sweetbriar cop, just like he always wanted to become. But do you see a wife? No. Any kids running around? Also no. Not even a dog, Charlotte—nary a pet to be seen at Detective Caden Barrett’s abode. Which just so happens to be the house you two lived in together while you were married, in case you forgot that pertinent fact.”

I bit my lip and looked away rather than answering. I didn’t want to get my hopes up or restart the pining, yearning, burning, and regretful feels that I had supposedly let go of.

“Look, Charlotte, I’m not saying he’s been celibate all these years. He wasn’t, and neither were you, for that matter. But no one got into his heart like you did and the same goes for you. That still means something, I just know it. And now I have to go pick up my kids, dang it.” She pulled me in for a hug. “I miss your face. Think about what I said, please?”

“Okay. I’ll think about it.” I pulled away with a smile. “And rethink, and obsess, and freak out over it. You’ve met me, Gwen. You know how I do things.”

“I miss you constantly.” She opened her car door, then shouted at me over the roof. “You’re my best friend in the world, Charli. I want you to stay. Adventures can be had close to home, and you know it’s true!”

I waved as she pulled away from the curb and took off down the street. Everything Gwen said was the truth, but what she didn’t know I’d been pouring over every detail of my marriage ever since I lifted myself off the snowy ground and saw Cade again. This shit kept me up at night. Did he still have feelings for me? Could it be true? Or was he simply trying to solve the mysterious case of why I lied when my car crashed into our tree?

Unearthing my key from the dark abyss of my purse, I let myself inside and headed for the kitchen to put my trashy groceries away and get a drink.

I couldn’t get Cade and his elusive opinion of me out of my mind. I was also stewing over what it would be like to just stay here after I finished my book. New York was busy, crowded, loud, and the home of my dumbass stalker. Year by year I was slowly getting tired of living there. I felt truly safe for the first time in ages here in Sweetbriar; did I really want that feeling to end?

My laptop was on the counter, but I could have sworn I had left it charging in my room. All this stress was making me lose my dang mind. Nothing was ever where I’d thought I left it, damn it. I grabbed the laptop and a Diet Dr. Pepper and made my way to the couch to work.