I heard his footsteps down the stairs and the twist of the lock before he shut the door behind himself. He was gone.
“Crap,” I whispered to no one as I fell back to the pillows and tears filled my eyes. “Damn it.” Did he really have to work? I hated that I doubted his word when I never had before.
The front doorknob jiggled, and I heard a faint knocking. “Cade? Is that you? I’m coming.” I wrapped the sheet around myself and flew down the stairs. I opened the door, but no one was there. It had must have been the wind. I mumbled to myself, “I swear, I’m losing my damn mind,” and shut the door with a slam, locked it, then set the alarm.
I needed to get some work done. But my mind was everywhere but on my manuscript. I headed to the kitchen to get the coffee started while I took a shower.
I stopped in front of the door leading into the garage. The light was on; it shone through the bottom crack of the door.
Freaking McMillon.
He had sworn he would contact me if he ever had to go into the garage. I didn’t want to live in a place where I had to worry about someone coming and going and interrupting me. I liked my privacy, which was part of the reason the whole stalker situation drove me so crazy.
I opened the door, slid my hand down the wall and switched the light off in a huff. I was kind of grateful to have somewhere to focus my bad mood.
I didn’t care how early it was. I shot off a text to McMillon telling him to let me know next time he had to use the garage, then stomped upstairs to get ready for my sure to be horrid day.
After my shower I flopped onto my bed to contemplate everything that had happened since I had crashed into the tree at Cade’s place. I managed to get some work done, a little bit of reading, a few texts with Trent, and a lot of staring at the wall before my eyes drifted shut and I fell into what was sure to be an epic nap.
The incessant ring of my cell woke me hours later—it was Cade.
Unfortunately, I was still confused, having come to zero conclusions during my almost comatose nap. “Hello.”
“Hey, I know it’s after dinner time, but do you have room for sushi?”
“My body always has room for sushi, Cade. But I haven’t eaten yet, so this is perfect.”
“Are you still up for a talk tonight? I can pick up your favorites and we can meet at my place? In an hour?”
“Sure. I’ll be there, don’t forget the—”
“Rainbow roll, dragon roll, miso soup, and a Diet Coke. Unless something has changed.” I swear I could hear the wink in his voice. It made me smile.
“Nope, that’s it. I’ll bring dessert.” Before he could say anything, I continued, “Apple pie from the Sweetbriar Diner with vanilla ice cream and caramel sauce on the side. Unless something has changed, that is.”
The deep sound of his laugh filled my ear. “You got it. I’ll see you soon.”
I swiped to end the call and sat up, horrified when I caught my reflection in the mirror above my dresser. I should have known better than to fall asleep with wet hair. Yeesh. I quickly got ready to leave.
An hour later I was at Cade’s.
Two hours later we were finished with dinner and sitting on the back deck enjoying glasses of wine and the twinkling stars in the sky. A shared blanket covered our legs as we rocked in the porch swing and watched the mist rise through the forest over the mountains.
It was quiet. We had spent dinner in the kitchen making small talk and jokes, but the atmosphere out here somehow felt heavier.
He cleared his throat and took my hand. I held myself back from running away; I had to follow this through no matter how much it may end up hurting. Ever since we slept together, each moment we shared was tinged with a fragility that frightened me. It was as if we weren’t moving forward but waiting for another inevitable end.
“I know,” I said. “We need to talk. Don’t we?”
“I don’t know how to say what I need. I don’t want you to take it the wrong way.”
“That sounds ominous.” I laughed to cover my sudden surge of nervous energy. “I guess you should just say it.”
“Me and you. Can we see where this goes without defining it? I don’t want—”
“You don’t want to get hurt again,” I deduced.
He nodded with earnest eyes. “Right, but—"
“I don’t want to get hurt either, you know.”
“I—yeah. It killed me when you left, Charlotte. I don’t know any other way to put it. I was devastated. But that’s not what I’m getting at right now—”
“It didn’t have to be that way. You wanted the divorce, I didn’t.” I looked away, squinting into the dark landscape of the forest.
“Look at me please.” Reluctantly, I met his eyes. “You had to be free to go after what you wanted without worrying about me or where we stood. I couldn’t allow myself to hold you back, and I wasn’t the kind of man to wait around. You weren’t the waiting type either. You can’t deny it. We are both ambitious people.”
“I get it.” I really didn’t get it. But we’d been over and over what had gone wrong between us in the past. We’d had the same conversation repeatedly back then, and it had gone nowhere. He thought he knew what was best for both of us, and I ended up being forced to abide by his decision.