“But you won’t get far if I’m the one watching you. I told you. If they found you, there was nothing I could do. I’m in hot water from what happened up north. I’m still making it up to my family. To the group. Not you. I won’t let you or anyone else ruin everything I’ve ever known.”
He was dead serious. My heart sank when I realized that my small hope of getting help if I needed it was gone. He wouldn’t help me. His loyalty was to the society above everything.
“I thought this was what you wanted. To be with Alex and not have to live life on the run,” he said mockingly.
“It is,” I quickly replied. “I was just curious about what you’d say.”
“Right.”
After taking a couple of steps back, I sat back on the couch and waited for him to do the same. After a few moments, he relaxed and sat down. Only a foot away from me. It was too close for comfort. Deciding to ignore him, I just stared at the TV. This was going nowhere. He wasn’t opening up. I could be doing the same thing in my room without having to deal with him. The longer I sat, the more my panic washed through me. I didn’t have a backup plan to leave. That needed to change.
“Listen, we’re both stuck here. Are you really going to act pissed off all the time when Alex isn’t here?” He tossed me the remote. “Here, turn on whatever you want.”
“I’ll just watch whatever you were watching,” I muttered, pushing the remote back toward him. He was trying to raise the white flag, but my stubborn nature wasn’t backing down. I didn’t want to get along with him. He might not have killed Lacey, but he was still a part of it.
“Fine. I hope you like documentaries.” He picked up the remote and turned up the volume.
With each minute that passed, the anger I’d been storing seemed to seep through my skin and create a tension that filled the room. Maybe it was all in my head, but the stiff way Niko was sitting and the side glances he was giving made me believe he felt it too. I wanted to tackle him and punch his face over and over. I wanted to scream everything I was thinking until my voice was gone. But I didn’t.
I might need him again. I wasn’t ready to burn that bridge until I had to, or if he stopped helping. I slowly relaxed my fists and rolled my neck, attempting to get comfortable. Gazing at the screen, I got lost in thoughts about how the hell I could get out of here. Finally, a thought came. I glanced at Niko, trying to gauge if I should bring it up now or wait.
No time like the present.
“Will you take me to my house?” I asked, trying to be as nice as possible.
“For what?” He didn’t even attempt to hide his suspicion.
“I haven’t been there since before. I want to grab a few of my things. And of Lacey’s.”
A tiny flicker of guilt crossed his face before he answered. “Fine. But if you’re going to try something—”
“I’m not. I just want to get my stuff,” I promised.
The glare he gave me showed he didn’t believe me, but he got up and grabbed his keys anyway. Nerves bubbled in my stomach. It wasn’t huge, but if I could get what I needed, then I at least had a way to leave if I needed to.
* * *
My childhood home came into view as Niko pulled into the driveway, and I immediately noticed something was different. The old, chipped white paint that used to cover the porch was gone. It looked freshly painted. I hadn’t been gone that long to forget what my house looked like.
He glanced over and saw my expression. “Alex has been coming over here and keeping the place up. Just in case you two ever move back in.”
The thought of sharing this house with him again was repulsing, but I kept that to myself as we got out of the car. Niko fumbled with my key ring that had my car and the house key on it. Following him to the door, I gritted my teeth as he unlocked it. I couldn’t even go into my own house by myself. Hiding out was better than this.
The second he opened the door, I pushed past him and ran up the stairs. The first room I stopped at was my own. It looked the same. Everything was in place. Alex must have been keeping up with the inside too. It was spotless. There was no dust, and the carpet had been vacuumed recently. I heard Niko walk in but ignored him as I sat on my bed and looked at the picture of my mom on the nightstand.
After a minute, I glanced at him. “Can you go down to the coat closet at the bottom of the stairs and grab the backpack?”
He raised an eyebrow, making no move toward the door.
“Where do you think I’m going to go, Niko? I’m upstairs. Can I have two minutes to take this all in?” I snapped.
“Fine,” he muttered as he turned for the stairs.
The second his footsteps hit the steps, I rushed to my desk. The top drawer was my junk drawer, and it kept a key ring with spare keys for both Lacey’s truck and my car. I could hear him opening the closet downstairs and knew I only had another minute, if that. I quickly slid my car key off the ring and shoved it far down into my shoe. Then I put the key ring with the truck key in my jeans pocket. I was back on the bed before Niko reached the door.
“Here,” he said as he tossed the bag to me.
I put the picture in the bag, along with some of my books. Hoisting the bag over my shoulder, I walked to Lacey’s room with Niko trailing behind me. I swallowed the sob that threatened to come out. Crying in front of him was not going to happen. I gazed around the room and grabbed a picture and Lacey’s favorite shirt. Lying on the bed, I gazed at the collage of pictures on the wall. There were so many pictures of us smiling and laughing. He just stood in the hall without saying anything. I didn’t know how much time passed, but I didn’t get up until the room started to get dark. After taking a long breath, I stepped back into the hall. Niko was sitting against the wall and scrambled up once I came out.
“Ready?” he asked—without his usual attitude.
I nodded and made my way down the stairs. I passed the bathroom and stopped short, causing him to run into me.
“What?” he asked, glancing into the bathroom.